OK, I just read a thread which reminded me of something I have often wondered about. The statement was "you can't love anyone until you love yourself". And then that brought up in my mind the Biblical scripture of "Love your neighbor as yourself".

Now here is the thing, I am considered a "selfless" person. I care more about others than I do myself. Not at all that I have a self esteem issue, I am very secure and confident. But I simply care more about others than I do myself. I have always been this way my entire life. So when people make those kinds of statements or I hear things like that, they simply do not seem to "fit" with me.

Is this "unhealthy"? I don't consider it to be, because again, I have no self esteem issues or security issues.

But I wanted to get other people's views on this one????

umm.. I'm confused.. what is it exactly that you're asking?

........

It's the same as in an emergency situation. If you don't take time to help for yourself you can't help anyone else, in turn if you don't love yourself how can you truly love another.

Because the current pop psy. culture tells everyone that the all important self is the only thing that matters so if someone comes along that actually enjoys be nice to others has to be screwed up. Personally I think that is a bunch of hoowee. If you enjoy being good to others have patience a nice one will come aong and find their soulmate.

How does one truly express respect and compassion for others, if they don't truly show themselves the same level of compassion and respect ???

Doormat seems to be the flavour of the month....if you are one of 'the burnt chop syndrome mob', where you always give the best to others, and take the burnt chop for you, then you are actually not showing love to others, but displaying controlling behaviours.

People who always place others above themselves, actually obligate others, to 'see' their deeds, and expect something from them....if you treat yourself as an EQUAL to all others, there is no obligations, no expectations, and one truly understands, what love with no conditions means.....


The ole 'selfish' card gets thrown around, about now.... but it's a fallacy.

no it's very healthy! Because you wouldn't want to bring them down emotionally from seeing you down! Love yourself and be someone they love to see happy!

It like RESPECT, if you don't respect your self, then HOW, WHY, would YOU EVER WANT to respect ANOTHER?

I think that statement came from me... And I am agreeing with what you are saying as well. I too am very unselfish and tend to get my pleasures from helping and doing things for others in need.
I just got out of a short lived relationship.... I put him before me and I allowed him to bring me down to his level. I on the other hand was simply trying to change him... to help him with the issues he was dealing with. I do believe that the lack of love I had for myself allowed him to bring me right down into his lil world.

to swim with the sharks, you must become a shark. plus it's nice being at the top of the food chain.

i was the same way but sometimes you can neglect yourself because you are always giving ....unless they do the same for you it will balance itself out just right.

I understand, maybe I should clarify. In that sense I do love myself...I just happen to love those I do love more than myself, because I would rather myself go througha situation than have to see them go through it. I would rather take the bullet than let them take it.

So again, I do love myself and have no self esteem or securty issues. So is there a problem because I love my loved ones more than myself??

It means you have a caring spirit!

OK, but with me, I never have any expectations..and just like with my friends and family.. "we don't keep score". Even with a stranger, if I help them I appreciate one thing in return..a sincere "thank you" and never anything more. So how would you classify that, since you seem to have the classifications down pretty well.

Thanks. But I place "respect" on a different level. I respect myself, and respect most of my loved ones, but in certain areas in certain cases, I actually do not respect thier decisions in some areas. Its a little more complicated.

LOL..not true. You can be a dolphin and dominate a shark..and dolphins are human friendly.

Yes, I am very fortunate, I have wonderful friends and family and if i am down, they step right up. So you have a great point there..it can be a two way thing and it actually does balance out. Thanks!

OMG Gypsy must be drinking..she actually made a compliment! (thanks sweetie!)

shaaaaaaaaaaaadap!!!

I have trouble believing the person who boasts about how selfless they are.


ie.


"Hey guys, I am extremely modest! I'm more modest than you! I'm the most modest person here!"