Now it's time for the man's rules. We always hear "the rules" for the feminine side. Ok - we are now going to hear the rules from the man's side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" on purpose.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work

Strong hints do not work

Obvious hints do not work

Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. I'm in shape. -ROUND is a shape.

hey you

Why are they all number one?

Every rule is of equal importance

Hehe, that's great.

Hey you back...

hahaha thats great

Well, knowing it is half the battle...lol...

that was funny made my day kid.im going through **** with my old lady and i sweare i really say those things. or at least think them

That is so true. I'd like to say it's not, be happy we do get smarter as time goes on.........

I like rule number 1 and 1. 1 is my favorite though.
I got one, Just because your bathroom "visits" last under two minutes doesn't give you the right to ask..."What are you doing in there?" We are Men, when we do something we do it RIGHT!

Those rules a cute

Ohhh observational humour is wonderful, and the truth is always the funniest

i guess i havent been giving men enough credit...ive always been told you only see in 10 colors

hey jim 519 i have thought those exact things all my married life - thank goodness thats over

hmmm I was always told that rule#1. I am always right, no matter what! yea right.

You said it brother!

that is good one! Check me out for more jokes on my profile and add me in your friends list. Don't worry I don't bite.

This is John and I approve this message. lol