You know you're a redneck if

You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.

Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You burn your yard rather than mow it.

You think the Nutcracker is something you do off the high dive.

The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor…. to..spare..a..loved..one.

You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't...want...it

You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

You come back from the dump with more than you took.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

You've bathed with flea and tick soap.

You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.

You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.

You took a fishing pole to Sea World.

You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

You know how many bales of hay you car will hold.

You have a rag for a gas cap.

I like the third one

Hey now that is a perfectly good mattress

Heyyyy! Why do i have to be above the creepy banner add?

thanks ya'll
he's got his eyes on you
Cooly

Gee thanks Cooley.....i feel much better now

"What if more than one of those statements fit you" OOP's I MUST BE A REDNECK!
Thank you for the laugh

Lol i know this family!

I swear yellow was the color of the mattress

now i know i am not a redneck.