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| Topic: any advice? or thoughts? | |
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then that messeed up life is between then dont going trying to even validate or make sence or defend what they do some people are slime.this is a good example
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I have to agree with everyone here, RUN! Don't get involved any further with this drama. Nothing good will come from it, it will be one lie after another and in the end you will be the one getting hurt. You seem like such a nice lady, there is someone else out there for you, the right one, this guy is definitely MR. WRONG!
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Looks like he thought it was over and she even helped him set up the online profiles. Like she wanted him to move on. Now she doesn't want to let him go. But he isn't strong enough to stand up to her. No, I don't think you are being played. Yes, I do think you should get out. The last thing anyone needs is drama of any sort. You say she showed up at his house. Then you say he said you two could stay at a hotel until finding a place. Sound like his house wasn't really his house after all. Is it their house? In that case, he has to take control of his life and get out before he can move on. Until that happens, there is no place for in it it. Tell him if you are still available once he gets his life together, you might consider it, but until then, you can't be in the middle of this drama and that you will continue to look around. i have told him that and he keeps telling me that he wants us to look for a place together. ha just told me yesterday that they were buying the place. i kinda think he is afraid to let go of what he has paid for (she doesnt work). and wants me to be part of choosing where i would be comfortable living. however, im not saying im willing to move just yet. i have told him he is not free to get to know me until it is over with her...trust me!! i have not done anything to make either of them think i am trying to interfere in their lives. i do not call him...he always calls me. and i always tell him, if he wants to be with me, then he has to make the move instead of waiting for her to move out. |
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Edited by
KELLYLS30
on
Sat 01/26/08 09:54 PM
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does it not say something on her part that she keeps putting profiles on the internet with his info, and his pic.....she is doing it because they are in english and he dont speak much english at all. i have an inside view and this is all being done while he is at work. Its sounds like SOMETHING way to out of control to be involved with,,,,,STRANGE and twisted,,,for her to "WANT" to do that for her GUY!!!! No sense to make of it, and he has to have some guy friends who could show him or do a profile for him,,,but THEN AGAIN,,,How the hell does HE TALK in emails then,,,,through HER????? Yuk,,, A three way that YOU don't even KNOW YOUR HAVING,,,lol,,,lol Thats all ate up!!!  actually all the emails to me from HIM were in his language...all the profiles are in english!! she has even put up profiles for his brother who just got here from his home country..speaks no english....and his profiles are in english. |
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Looks like he thought it was over and she even helped him set up the online profiles. Like she wanted him to move on. Now she doesn't want to let him go. But he isn't strong enough to stand up to her. No, I don't think you are being played. Yes, I do think you should get out. The last thing anyone needs is drama of any sort. You say she showed up at his house. Then you say he said you two could stay at a hotel until finding a place. Sound like his house wasn't really his house after all. Is it their house? In that case, he has to take control of his life and get out before he can move on. Until that happens, there is no place for in it it. Tell him if you are still available once he gets his life together, you might consider it, but until then, you can't be in the middle of this drama and that you will continue to look around. i have told him that and he keeps telling me that he wants us to look for a place together. ha just told me yesterday that they were buying the place. i kinda think he is afraid to let go of what he has paid for (she doesnt work). and wants me to be part of choosing where i would be comfortable living. however, im not saying im willing to move just yet. i have told him he is not free to get to know me until it is over with her...trust me!! i have not done anything to make either of them think i am trying to interfere in their lives. i do not call him...he always calls me. and i always tell him, if he wants to be with me, then he has to make the move instead of waiting for her to move out. it sounds like yur stalling and making excuses and the longer you hold on the more it will hurt and be harder to leave
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Edited by
KELLYLS30
on
Sat 01/26/08 10:00 PM
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it sounds like yur stalling and making excuses and the longer you hold on the more it will hurt and be harder to leave-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
im not making excuses. im just trying to get it all straight in my head before i decide what to do. |
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he wants to have his cake and eat it too he is using one of u as a security blanket, in case one doesn't work out i say drop him it's not right to do two women like that he doesn't have courage or he would have dropped her by now if he really was into you Not only that girl if he does this with you what makes you think he would not do the same thing to you when he gets tired of you. Shshsshshshs believe me this is a pattern of some get out while you can. You said that was the first time you meet him and all that happen shshshsh smells like a rat in the wood pile to me   You deserve so much more than that!!
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In all honesty, it sounds like you are trying to get people here to justify what you really want to do, but you need that justification because in your heart - you know it's the wrong thing to do.
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Edited by
KELLYLS30
on
Sat 01/26/08 10:31 PM
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ok...i think i got it. i figure he'll call on monday. we'll see. and i have told him before and i will tell again when he calls that i dont want him to leave her for me. if he leaves her i needs to be because he honestly is not happy there. because until then he is not free to get to know me or anyone else . i will tell him not to call me until he has broken all ties with her. i will wait until the end of Feb. to give him time to rent a place and get his own phone. if he has not called by Feb. 29. i refuse to answer any more calls.
does that sound ok? |
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Edited by
KELLYLS30
on
Sat 01/26/08 10:20 PM
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In all honesty, it sounds like you are trying to get people here to justify what you really want to do, but you need that justification because in your heart - you know it's the wrong thing to do. actually im not doing anything wrong...except answering the phone. i have not given him any hope or promise of anything! i keep telling him he needs to be honest with himself as well as both of us women. i have been straight-up with both of them. i refuse to lie to her if she asks me a question. |
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hes gonna feed ya a line of slop for u not to leave him i just hope ya got ya head on right to walk the other way
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i will tell you like i tell all my girlfriends...what makes you think you are the special chosen one? im not saying that to be mean to you...what i mean is, if hes done it to her, what makes you think he wont do it to you down the road. history repeats itself....be careful babe!
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In all honesty, it sounds like you are trying to get people here to justify what you really want to do, but you need that justification because in your heart - you know it's the wrong thing to do. actually im not doing anything wrong...except answering the phone. i have not given him any hope or promise of anything! i keep telling him he needs to be honest with himself as well as both of us women. i have been straight-up with both of them. i refuse to lie to her if she asks me a question. |
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actually im not doing anything wrong...
I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong - now. But moving down there would be... |
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i will tell you like i tell all my girlfriends...what makes you think you are the special chosen one? im not saying that to be mean to you...what i mean is, if hes done it to her, what makes you think he wont do it to you down the road. history repeats itself....be careful babe! im not saying he wont. but who is to say that he will. everybody can change. and i think we have all made mistaes in our lives. and if it comes to that and he does, then i would pick myself up and go on. im not afraid to leave...i left my ex-husband with the clothes on my back and my 5 months old child(who is no longer with me). i am a brave woman and i have become a lot stronger due to my past. a wild horse can always be broken, just have to find the right trainer. |
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actually im not doing anything wrong... I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong - now. But moving down there would be... im not trying to make the decision to move ...god knows i aint ready for that anyway im just trying to sort it all out. |
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actually im not doing anything wrong... I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong - now. But moving down there would be... im not trying to make the decision to move ...god knows i aint ready for that anyway im just trying to sort it all out. DOWN TO THE NITTY GRITTY THE MAN IS PLAYING WITH YOUR EMONTIONS PLAIN AND SIMPLE SAD BUT TRUE WHY CAUSE HE CAN!!!!!  What do I think you should do toss the trash to the curb where it belongs. But in reality that is up to you and only you!!  Would I give him till the end of Feb nooooooooooooooooo way!!! I would turn and never look back!!! You deserve so much more!! Look what he is doing to her believe me in a few years that will be you if you give him his cake he will gloat for a while then be ready for a new flavor!!!  But good luck in what ever you decide for that is something you will have to decide on your own!!
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i will tell you like i tell all my girlfriends...what makes you think you are the special chosen one? im not saying that to be mean to you...what i mean is, if hes done it to her, what makes you think he wont do it to you down the road. history repeats itself....be careful babe! im not saying he wont. but who is to say that he will. everybody can change. and i think we have all made mistaes in our lives. and if it comes to that and he does, then i would pick myself up and go on. im not afraid to leave...i left my ex-husband with the clothes on my back and my 5 months old child(who is no longer with me). i am a brave woman and i have become a lot stronger due to my past. a wild horse can always be broken, just have to find the right trainer. hes how old and hes acting and treatig you like this?one things for sure the only way hes like a horse is the amount of **** that is coming out his ass.
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You ask if you are being played?????
 ....yes; but ONLY because you are allowing yourself to be. Are you continuing contact with this person out of desperation? Is your self-confidence so low you are willing to accept such disrespect? What does this guy need; a GREEN CARD, perhaps???? Good Lord!! You don't need this dude in your life. Hell no! What you need is a good mental health provider. Someone to help you understand why you persue such potentially devastating relationships. You need to get therapy to learn to love yourself before you are able to seek love with another. This is crazy!! The red flags are blazing!! This guy definitely wants and needs something from you, but it has NOTHING to do with love or even sex for that matter, and I'll betcha his "girlfriend / sister / pimp " is in on it. Oh, and the non-English speaking brother??? WTF?? Honey, you know this isn't right....YOU KNOW IT! Follow your instincts and leave your heart and libido out of it! |
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hes playing you ...and its easier to do cos he is so far away..you have no idea whats going on over there and it sounds to me the other women is part of the game ...i would just drop it dead now ...no more talks, mail or anything and move on with your life hun
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