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| Topic: when is it proper to meet the kids | |
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when you first meet and getting to know each other when and how should you get to know there kids without being someone they don't want around and if they don't like you but there parent is crazy about you do you keep seeing them or break it off because of the kids?
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As soon as possible is always better. Kids tend to like most people right away, or will warm up to you, so the sooner you meet them the better.
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Wow - that is a great question. Hmmm. I wouldn't get too close to the kids until the relationship looks like it is going in the right direction. Especially depending on their ages. My daughter is 4 and I was in a serious relationship after her mother that ended about 5-6 months ago. It really hurt her. She got very close to her. I felt really bad for my daughter. So now I am going to be very cautious about bringing anyone around her. But as for what if the kids don't like you but the mother does??? I think sometimes the kids aren't going to like anyone at first. You aren't their father. But they will grow to like you.....that's what happened in my last relationship too. My daughter didn't really take to her right away but then warmed up and loved her. But if they are older kids, it'll probably be different.
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Her daughter is 15 and she has a hockey game fri. night and I may be going to it I hope she likes me because I love kids and I really like her mom.
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As soon as possible is always better. Kids tend to like most people right away, or will warm up to you, so the sooner you meet them the better. Not sure I agree too much with that. You want to make sure the person you are dating at the time is going to be around for a little while. Don't want to keep bringing different men/women around them. Just my opinion though.  
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Her daughter is 15 and she has a hockey game fri. night and I may be going to it I hope she likes me because I love kids and I really like her mom. 15 is different than 4. haha. At 15 she knows the situation better. Good luck!!! |
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No-one meets my son unless she is 110% a keeper
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As soon as possible is always better. Kids tend to like most people right away, or will warm up to you, so the sooner you meet them the better. bad advice |
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I agree with chuck
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Wow - that is a great question. Hmmm. I wouldn't get too close to the kids until the relationship looks like it is going in the right direction. Especially depending on their ages. My daughter is 4 and I was in a serious relationship after her mother that ended about 5-6 months ago. It really hurt her. She got very close to her. I felt really bad for my daughter. So now I am going to be very cautious about bringing anyone around her. But as for what if the kids don't like you but the mother does??? I think sometimes the kids aren't going to like anyone at first. You aren't their father. But they will grow to like you.....that's what happened in my last relationship too. My daughter didn't really take to her right away but then warmed up and loved her. But if they are older kids, it'll probably be different. good advice |
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id say give it a couple of months if u are seeing her at least 2 times a week.....
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As soon as possible is always better. Kids tend to like most people right away, or will warm up to you, so the sooner you meet them the better. bad advice Well I suppose, if you don't intend on being friends if you don't work out romantically. But in my experience, the sooner you meet them, the less hassles you have to deal with later. |
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or the more you could hurt a child when/if it goes sour
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Edited by
Gumbyvs
on
Thu 01/17/08 07:58 AM
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But what if you really like the woman/man and you don't meet the child til later, and you dislike the child? So now you're putting yourself in a position where you're going to break it off because of the child?
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or the more you could hurt a child when/if it goes sour 100% correct Chuck!!! It's not about the hassles we may have to deal with, it is about protecting the children involved from heart ache. They didn't ask to be in this situation. It is hard enough for them not having their mother and father together. Now that is my experience!!! I'd much rather go through hassles then have my little one hurt. |
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But what if you really like the woman/man and you don't meet the child til later, and you dislike the child? So now you're putting yourself in a position where you're going to break it off because of the child? Its a child, who they are when you meet them isn t who they will turn out to be, I love all children. |
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But what if you really like the woman/man and you don't meet the child til later, and you dislike the child? So now you're putting yourself in a position where you're going to break it off because of the child? Much rather it be me put in a situation and me have heart ache and pain then my child or someone else child. We're adults and you know how hard it is for us, right? Think about the kids......don't want them feeling the pain. Like I said though, just my opinion. But it is something I feel very strongly about. And it's because I was in a long relationship after my daughter's mother that went bad. I thought I was going to be with her and when it didn't work out, it really affected my daughter. |
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But what if you really like the woman/man and you don't meet the child til later, and you dislike the child? So now you're putting yourself in a position where you're going to break it off because of the child? That kinda sounds a bit selfish, not saying you mean it that way. |
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Awww myself no one ever meet my kids till I had dated them a couple of months. Mainly due to after a couple of months if they are still around normaly you have started seeing them on a one on one. I was not going to have men popping in and out in my kids life's they had a dad and did not need another one. Both of my kids are grown and if at any time I'm talking to one serious enough to meet even now I do tell my kids first and when and where.
 Kids should be our first priority in our lives not our relationships.  At least that is the way I saw it for now they are grown I raised them for 16 years alone they are well adjusted and grown now I feel as if I have my time. But now when the kids are older sometimes you can introduce them sooner. All depends on the situation.
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Awww myself no one ever meet my kids till I had dated them a couple of months. Mainly due to after a couple of months if they are still around normaly you have started seeing them on a one on one. I was not going to have men popping in and out in my kids life's they had a dad and did not need another one. Both of my kids are grown and if at any time I'm talking to one serious enough to meet even now I do tell my kids first and when and where. Kids should be our first priority in our lives not our relationships. At least that is the way I saw it for now they are grown I raised them for 16 years alone they are well adjusted and grown now I feel as if I have my time. But now when the kids are older sometimes you can introduce them sooner. All depends on the situation. I was just gonna type all of that out...but you did it for me. I dated one guy for almost 6 months before i introduced him to her, and another one for only 2, but I had known him for a very long time.... not just for them emotionally, but there are alot of sicko's and i don't want her to get attached to someone then in the end that puts her in a vulnerable possition... |
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