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Topic: Why cant the state back off??
repochick's photo
Fri 01/11/08 08:42 AM
I'm currently fighting with the state I used to live in because they want to pursue child support for my son and I dont. I have never attempted to get child support and have no intentions of trying now. So, why cant the state accept my wishes, especially considering I dont live there anymore, and just back off!

wildsideof35's photo
Fri 01/11/08 08:45 AM
Welcome to the Government BS!!!! They put their nose where it don't belong!! Good Luck.....

tsw123's photo
Fri 01/11/08 08:45 AM

I'm currently fighting with the state I used to live in because they want to pursue child support for my son and I dont. I have never attempted to get child support and have no intentions of trying now. So, why cant the state accept my wishes, especially considering I dont live there anymore, and just back off!


how did the state get involved in the first place?

randy912's photo
Fri 01/11/08 08:45 AM
In most states , the law requires the state to do so... I have dealt with this issue also ... it will all be straight just keep working on it , talk to an attorney if you need to , I had to .... Randy

no photo
Fri 01/11/08 08:47 AM
In Idaho the state only gets involved if you receive assistance for your household and the father is not paying.

repochick's photo
Fri 01/11/08 08:47 AM
The state got involved because for a short time I needed some medical assistance for my son. But its been a long time since I have needed the assistance and also a long time since I have lived in that state!

randy912's photo
Fri 01/11/08 08:47 AM
I forgot to add , the state has to do this if you draw any type of financial assistance...

no photo
Fri 01/11/08 08:48 AM
Yup, the state decides whether or not to go after daddy, except in maine, if you can prove it will endanger your life or your childrens...its required in Maine! I never tried to get any $$ from the loser,,good luck to them...LMAO...

tsw123's photo
Fri 01/11/08 08:48 AM

In Idaho the state only gets involved if you receive assistance for your household and the father is not paying.


I thought that was how it is in most states.

no photo
Fri 01/11/08 08:50 AM
Edited by luvinlf2themax on Fri 01/11/08 08:52 AM
Yeah, my son has aspergers syndrome, and my regular insurance doesnt cover the services needed, so state services come into play. Not like I have a choice in the matter...Gee, sorry honey, Im to proud to accept help for your autism...frown
YEAH...RIGHT...
Whats a mom supposed to do?
In Maine they get involved even if the dad IS paying, they take over the payments...and for the poor moms struggling to make ends meet...if they make a paycheck, they deduct that amount from their child support.

repochick's photo
Fri 01/11/08 08:50 AM
Luvin!!! Hey girl, how's it going!!
I know they had to make changes in the welfare system and all but come on. There are plenty dead beat dads the state could be tracking down not to have to worry about me!

lilith401's photo
Fri 01/11/08 08:51 AM
Are you receiving any government benefits, or have you ever in the past? If the answer is yes, then the state is required by law to get child suport, or try. The funds issued by county and state governments are all federal monies and come with bureacratic strings.

That is the only reason I can think of off hand.

As a mother myself, if I were in your situation... I might consider the position that it is not my money to accept or deny, but rather money that my child is entitled to. If you don't need it, put it in a trust or college fund. I'd love to have that option.

repochick's photo
Fri 01/11/08 08:53 AM
It cracked me up though. I got a letter yesterday wanting to do DNA testing but the appointment they set was on 12-12-07. The post mark on the envelope was 01-04-08. Does it make a lot of sense to send me a letter a month after the appointmet was missed??? DUH
So, I called them today to try to clear things up and let them know that I dont want to pursue child support and the woman I talked to was EVIL. I pissed her off nice and good though!

repochick's photo
Fri 01/11/08 08:55 AM

As a mother myself, if I were in your situation... I might consider the position that it is not my money to accept or deny, but rather money that my child is entitled to. If you don't need it, put it in a trust or college fund. I'd love to have that option.


Problem with that is that I already know I will never see a dime so why go through the aggrevation of it all when I wont see anything!

no photo
Fri 01/11/08 08:55 AM
Hey Repo, its great! How you doing? The state is going to make sure they get their $$...no matter how little benefits you ever got. Its ridiculous...and the thing is, they are not going to give her the $$ to put into any account...they keep it to 'pay back' the help they gave you...it doesnt work the way you are thinking lilith. IF ONLY!
I had to sit through a three hour seminar for the benefits for my son, even though none of it applied to me...and they penalize the moms who work...and a monthly stipend for a family of 3 in maine? Guess how much? 482.00. To live on. For the month. Whoo Hoooo! so much for sitting at home being a welfare mom, huh?

tsw123's photo
Fri 01/11/08 08:56 AM
they are just doing their job. even if you just receive assistance for a short time, it's still taxpayer money is the way they look at it. if he isn't paying, why should others be paying?

repochick's photo
Fri 01/11/08 08:59 AM
Luvin,
The thing is that the old state really cant do a whole lot at this point anyway. I moved and can prove residency in another state for both of us so all the old one can do is transfer it up here and let this one handle it!

Glad you're having a good day girl!! I'm just killing time before I head off to work!!! TGIF And the boss is gone for the day too!!!laugh

lilith401's photo
Fri 01/11/08 09:00 AM


As a mother myself, if I were in your situation... I might consider the position that it is not my money to accept or deny, but rather money that my child is entitled to. If you don't need it, put it in a trust or college fund. I'd love to have that option.


Problem with that is that I already know I will never see a dime so why go through the aggrevation of it all when I wont see anything!


Well, it is not your choice to go through the aggravation is my point. I'm just saying try to look at it as a positive thing. You cannot control this, so try to put it in a better light. Also, you never know you won't see anything. You might, you might not.

repochick's photo
Fri 01/11/08 09:01 AM
Edited by repochick on Fri 01/11/08 09:02 AM

they are just doing their job. even if you just receive assistance for a short time, it's still taxpayer money is the way they look at it. if he isn't paying, why should others be paying?


I know they are just doing their job but they never cared before all of this and now they are going to try to be hateful with me just because I dont want their help anymore!

MirrorMirror's photo
Fri 01/11/08 09:02 AM
flowerforyou The state gets a cut of the money, thay is why they want it so bad. flowerforyou

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