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| Topic: Maybe love isn't enough? | |
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Well, I've just recently broken up with my boyfriend. We dated on and off for about 2 years and have been friends for about 7 years.
I love him dearly, as a friend and as a lover but our personalities, goals and interests are completely opposite and with all of that in mind our conversations are usually constant arguments, smart as* remarks and bitterness. I couldn't take it anymore, I thought being with someone was supposed to make you feel better and not worse. So, after the constant emotional stress with that I ended it. I had too much going on in my life to have to come home and then argue with him. Plus, he constantly told me I was too good for him and I spent the majority of our time trying to build him up, it was emotionally exhausting. Since weve broken up, I know that I still love him and miss him terribly. I know we aren't meant to be together it just doesn't work out, but because I love him I'm constantly questioning myself to maybe take him back... Anyone been through this..or have any advice PLEASE reply or mail me. |
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DON'T DO IT!!
Move on. You broke up for a reason. More hurt will happen if you go back to him. |
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I don't know but my parents have been together 47 years & they fight like cats and dogs.
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I am not looking for love right now. You are young and have many opportunities waiting in the future. I just want to accomplish some goals I set out for myself then worry about love later.
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Been there, done that. Still doing it. The best thing you can do is leave him alone. If you don't click on important things like goals, then there is only this again on the road ahead. It's a vicious cycle you have to break out of. It sucks, but it will be worth it when you find the guy who DOES share your aspirations.... and makes you feel like that again. Good luck!
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 I  YOU !!!
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aw thanks everyone
I'm very strong willed..and I know going back to him would be a HUGE mistake.. love just makes me think and sometimes do crazy things |
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There are a billion fish in the sea. Unless you're absolutely sure you caught the one with the golden scale, you better keep looking.
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Cindy..move on...been there...there r better things waiting for u...the pain will subside...trust me...lol
Never go backwards....always forwards....write me if u like...I can tell u a few love failed stories.....missed and painful.... learned...learned...rather be alone and build me up than someone else... now thinking about me first..for the first time in my life... 
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ahhh! heh this is what my mom told me
it was just so emotionally draining trying to constantly convince him i wanted to be with him... i just hope this feeling goes away.. im sure its just because ive done the same thing everyday for 2 years.. its just missing the little things.. but I know I have to keep my sight set on the bigger picture.. that we dont work out thanks for the replies helps more than you know 
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Live and learn........we all had to~!!!
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been in that exeact spot before....
it boils down to this..... do you love him... all of him.... enough to try and over come all this stuff... or do you love him... diferently... or just to love someone?? dont get me wrong... not judging... just askin questions.... trying to get you thinkin... one more question.... do you know YOU well enough to be answering questions about him?? just some things i had to ask when i was in your shoes... it gets better... i promice it does... |
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Love sometimes doesn't have a clue. Your common sense prevailed. Good luck, hang in there!
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Well, I've just recently broken up with my boyfriend. We dated on and off for about 2 years and have been friends for about 7 years. I love him dearly, as a friend and as a lover but our personalities, goals and interests are completely opposite and with all of that in mind our conversations are usually constant arguments, smart as* remarks and bitterness. I couldn't take it anymore, I thought being with someone was supposed to make you feel better and not worse. So, after the constant emotional stress with that I ended it. I had too much going on in my life to have to come home and then argue with him. Plus, he constantly told me I was too good for him and I spent the majority of our time trying to build him up, it was emotionally exhausting. Since weve broken up, I know that I still love him and miss him terribly. I know we aren't meant to be together it just doesn't work out, but because I love him I'm constantly questioning myself to maybe take him back... Anyone been through this..or have any advice PLEASE reply or mail me. Are you sure you love him and not just feel sorry for him? |
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Well..that's also a question to ponder
I know i love him as a friend..and partially as a lover but he just seems so lost without me.. and sometimes I feel the same i think I'm just sad because of the separation.. after being through it all for so long the change is overwhelming we talked about getting back together again today.. but im glad im on here getting this advice |
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Love is a strange emotion and not an exact science, for sure. Being emotionally involved with someone does not mean you love them. I seriously believe if you truly love someone you want his or her happiness more than your own, but it is NEVER ok to sacrifice your self worth to please someone else. I think emotions are easy, but if love is truly something which lasts, it won't be emotionally draining.
If two people mutually respect each other, call it love, beyond the emotion, lust, whatever, then they should constantly re-energize the other person, not drain them. And, too many cases, and situations I have been in, were very draining. Love shouldn't be that way. |
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sounds like you've done a LOT of work in your relationship. take a break and stop worrying yourself. let him do the work at this point. see if he'll stand up for himself without you as a crutch. let him do the convincing!
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don't take him back if your going to get hurt. I'm sick of being hurt and seeing other people get hurt. I just try not to think about them and cut of communication and just try to move on as best as I can and I cry alot
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so us still talking "as friends" he calls it..is probably not the best idea? I mean in a way it helps me to get over him..but then it makes me just want to forget all the BS hes put me through and get back with him
should total communication be cut off? |
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Yeah, it's probably best for both of you to just go your seperate ways.
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