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| Topic: what the F guys??? | |
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all i know is that the last guy i liked played mind games like no other...i still can't figure him out...  so did mine |
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Man ... All CAPS is real hard to read you know. But to sum it up with my own understanding on the issue ... it's because of human psychology. We humans want things either we cannot get or we take effort to get (something we work at). If something becomes too easy, it loses VALUE (in our mind) and we lose the attraction. It's not just guys, GIRLS do this ALL THE TIME, too. For example, there's this dress you want SO badly but it's really expensive (lets say ... $2000). You work and work and work and finally spend your whole month's earning to buy this dress. You will VALUE it a lot and treat it very special (in your mind). But lets say there's a BIG SALE. and now this same dress is sold for $10 and EVERYONE is wearing it on the street ... then it loses VALUE (in your mind) and thus loses attraction (to you). You don't want it anymore. So, that's the psychology of it. When you ask him out, he feels you are cheap (in his mind!! like the dress) and loses attraction for you. Well, that's my take on it. I mean, everyone's different. Maybe he's got his own story. But I hope what I wrote makes sense. Source: I've taken Psychology for 2 years and read a lot of books on human psychology. Thank you, it makes lots of sense.. 
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Man ... All CAPS is real hard to read you know. But to sum it up with my own understanding on the issue ... it's because of human psychology. We humans want things either we cannot get or we take effort to get (something we work at). If something becomes too easy, it loses VALUE (in our mind) and we lose the attraction. It's not just guys, GIRLS do this ALL THE TIME, too. For example, there's this dress you want SO badly but it's really expensive (lets say ... $2000). You work and work and work and finally spend your whole month's earning to buy this dress. You will VALUE it a lot and treat it very special (in your mind). But lets say there's a BIG SALE. and now this same dress is sold for $10 and EVERYONE is wearing it on the street ... then it loses VALUE (in your mind) and thus loses attraction (to you). You don't want it anymore. So, that's the psychology of it. When you ask him out, he feels you are cheap (in his mind!! like the dress) and loses attraction for you. Well, that's my take on it. I mean, everyone's different. Maybe he's got his own story. But I hope what I wrote makes sense. Source: I've taken Psychology for 2 years and read a lot of books on human psychology. are you stipulating that women who ask men out are easy? Assertive, tenacious and maybe aggressive but never easy...at least for me that is |
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Edited by
yic17
on
Tue 01/08/08 05:50 PM
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are you stipulating that women who ask men out are easy? Assertive, tenacious and maybe aggressive but never easy...at least for me that is It's not my personal opinion, it's what I've learned from psychology. And the key here is not "Women who ask men out", the key here is that when a woman asks a man out without the man "spending effort", she will be seen as "Easy" (TO the man). And thus lose value (in THAT man's mind) and lose attraction (TO him). Basically, you can say ... when you're being too easy, you lose value and attraction. This is human psychology. That's why there's such thing in dating called "Play hard to get". But of course, You can definitely ask a man out without being too easy. Which will probably end up like you were saying "Assertive, tenacious and maybe aggressive" IF that is what you're showing. But keep in mind ... to THAT man you ask out, in his little mind, he might think you're being easy and thus lose attraction to you. See, a relationship is not one sided, just because you intend to be assertive, tenacious, and aggressive, doesn't mean it will be conveyed to the man you're asking out. |
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Just wanna add a note, if you play TOO HARD to get, you might become hard to connect with and the man might think you're not interested or cannot handle this emotion and move on. It's always a balance. But I think most importantly is just be natural and do what you feel is right.
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When I find someone to play, I will let ya'll know who wins!!
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That sounds like a fun thing to do. Get a girl going then stop.
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