MEN:

1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.

2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.

3. Open a beer and drink it.

4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7. Place drain pan under engine.

8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9. Give up and use crescent wrench.

10. Unscrew drain plug.

11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.

12. Clean up.

13. Have another beer while oil is draining.

14. Look for oil filter wrench.

15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips screwdriver and twist it off.

16. Beer.

17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow.

18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.

19. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step 18.

20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.

21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.

22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to gasket first.

23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

24. Remember drain plug from step 11.

25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains onto floor.

27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.

28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.

29. Begin cussing fit.

30. Throw wrench.

31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December 1992.

32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.

33. Beer.

34. Beer.

35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.

36. Beer.

37. Lower car from jack stands.

38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.

39. Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh oil spilled during step 23.

40. Drive car.

WOMEN:

1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.

2. Drink a cup of coffee.

3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

And men think they know it all

thats just crazy talk

I use a place called Basha... i get a free car wash with my oil change :D

... i'm a man... a man who can't be bothered, who can spare the $20

And while at Jiffy lube...

...the "oil" mechanic realizes its a women driving the car. He then proceeds to convince her that she needs a coolant flush, a transmission flush, a new serpintine belt, and windshield wiper fluid.

30 minutes and 200$ bucks later the woman doesnt seem so smart anymore.

Ouch....Burn

I was going to say the same about realining the hub caps.

Had to stick up for the guys who actually spend less then 20$ at the store and have their own oil changed in 15 minutes.

Yea and do it right...not like these Jiffey lubes...I could tell you stories about the messed up stuff these place do!!!

drive a truck, no lifts needed, don't like beer, catch stuff on sale $20, change my own oil i can & i like the feeling of accomplishment

A woman after my own heart......all except the don't like beer part.

lmfao so true
except one of my brother's friends offers to change my oil for me. all i do is go to pep boys and pick up oil. lol.
better then spending $25 at the local shop.

Learned this lesson Men,Beer and Oil Change don't mix


I take mine to the Jiffy Lube

A man who can't drink a beer and change the oil and filter in 15-20 mins is one who doesn't belong under the car. And Jiffy Lube is a ripoff they rarely change your filter specially if you go there allot and if you pay for synthetic you're not getting it unless you babysit them!