Knowing yourself and what you need in love & relationship is so important!
Many only focus on love and sex and/or the "click".
But actually there are way deeper things that are far more important or as important.
I learn about these things for myself with vids from dating/relationship coaches, astrology, Tarot and using AI in combination with the latter 2 to get more info and insight.

For instance by telling AI what signs the most important planets of my chart are in and asking which sign would be a great love match for me.
Then I get the default matches for Taurus but none of these work for me. I sort of knew why, but not exactly. So I then ask AI and it gives me an incredibly accurate explanation.
I keep asking more and more and then get more and more insight in self.

One thing that I also came across via an AI app from a well-known dating coach is that emotional safety is very important.
That stuck with me. I kept thinking about it.
And the more I did, the more I realised just how danged important it actually is for me.
Something I had never really thought about, then was made aware of it and that now has become one of the most important things that I'm looking for!

Then there's what's often said to be important in love:
Chemistry, connection, commitment.
And yup, those are indeed important. You need all those in a relationship.
But the thing is that you can have the first 2 with loads of people yet most of them won't make a great partner for you. So in that sense it's quite meaningless.
Even adding commitment to the mix isn't enough.
What is crucial is compatibility.

And there's no real standard for what would be compatible and what not. For some it'd be incompatible if one is a morning person and the other an evening person or night owl. For others this isn't a real problem, they can still make it work.
So what's compatible can be quite subjective.

Another thing is to feel peace inside when you're with your person. That's not the same as feeling bored!
But feeling peaceful means you can relax, you can be yourself, you feel accepted as you are, you don't get judged and so on.
It actually means your nervous system gets soothed and calms down, something that doesn't happen in all love relationships and often we don't even notice it when it's not calm.
Often we're not used to feeling peaceful, we may think that there always has to be some sort of 'buzz' so when it does feel peaceful we can mistake it for boredom and not being the right connection.

The better you know yourself, the better you know what you've always lacked in relationship -not always by the other's doing, we have to be accountable for our own flaws & shortcomings too.
And it can help you figure out what you need most of all.

Like I learned that emotional safety is really a thing for me, and I haven't had much of it in my life. But also astrologically it comes up as a strong need due to a certain planetary position.
There are so many ways to learn and grow, it's just a matter of choosing to do so!
I always enjoy it tremendously :)

I agree you do need a good idea of the type of person you believe would be right for you. I don't believe it needs to be written in stone, when you do meet someone it is only dating for sometime that you will begin to know if they are the right one for you. Having too many preconceived ideas of what you believe is right for you may result in dismissing someone who would have been ideal. It may be worth more thinking about the type of person you definitely don't want, and date those outside of that list, before deciding whether they are right for you. At the end of the day it is the compatibility of both parties, among other things, and an ability to compromise.

I have thought about what you say for a bit, and it could be true if you don't know yourself very well.
Which is what I was talking about, knowing yourself, your needs in life & a partner & relationship.
When you know yourself well these needs aren't from the ego. Nor are they "wants" but needs which is a different thing altogether.

Now if you've never done much or any work on self you will not really know yourself. You will come from ego. This is generally not handy although depending on what it's about it can sometimes protect you.
And at the same time it'll keep you at the level you yourself are at. For instance if you aren't truly happy with yourself or in life you cannot attract a quality mate who is.
At the same time you won't feel attraction for someone who is for instance depressed or chronically negative in life when you are positive and happy.

Knowing what you need to be fulfilled would be more about characteristics and emotional maturity or personality, not looks or tangible stuff. Like me needing emotional safety.
I don't give a toss really about hair or eye colour, bald or full head of hair, him making a ton of money, driving a posh car etc.
Now some of such things can be indicative of how someone is doing, thriving or surviving. So certain things can make you go "nope, not for me!"

Biggest distinction of what I was talking bout is you really knowing yourself, meaning you've done a lot of work (personal growth) and speaking of needs, not wants.

Thanks for that. Finding a partner is not easy, and I agree, providing you find them attractive is what matters, attractiveness is not necessarily just physical but is in their character, personality, their outlook on life, whereabouts they are in life, and where they see themselves going in life. The older you are, the more difficult the task in my opinion, many more things to consider, and when you are reasonably happy in your life, you can find the person you are looking for is very difficult to find.

A friend -age 65- had an outing the other day with older people she knows. All 70+, one of them 80.
Afterwards she said, "I'm never doing that again?!! It's exhausting to spend time with such old people. Their way of thinking is so different."
She went on to say how constrictive / limiting / narrowing their way of thinking, feeling, being is and how that doesn't gel with someone of a younger age.
In general they can't keep up with regular life so well anymore, their life has become more constrictive/narrow, maybe because they no longer work. The circle they live, think, move in becomes smaller and smaller.

I myself have noticed this years ago with my father and his wife when they were in their early 70s. The stuff they were talking about with friends the same age were entirely different. Things aren't so much about the future anymore as they don't see much of a future due to their age.
The fact that they're approaching their transition becomes part of conversation, something younger people usually don't talk about.

Now that in a way is logical. But their narrowing way of thinking and being is for a big part due to decreasing neuroplasticity of the brain and lack/decrease of certain hormones and neurotransmitters.
You can do something about this but if you don't it will just happen.

I think this also has a major impact on dating and/or finding love in the later years of life.
It will differ a lot from person to person of course. Some remain vibrant, flexible, and lively while others kind of wither sooner or faster.

On top of that I think there will be other things that become a 'thing' that weren't before. Giving up, no more hope, or... desperation as they feel they are running out of time and want to find a partner before they make their transition.

A lot of people become less flexible in their willingness to compromise when they're older. For instance flatly refusing to move house as they've lived in their house for 50+ years, have their friends there etc.
But the same argument will go for a potential mate too. How can you then make it work? Rigidity will kill a lot.
In a way it's logical when you think you only have a few more years left in life. And I guesstimate the decreasing neuroplasticity plays a role in it too.
I think all this will have a big impact on finding love and it becoming more difficult.

Old age is a curse, as you get older you will never be as fit as you were in your twenties, but you need to have the right frame of mind in my opinion. You only have to look at the President of the United States of America, to see someone later in life who is running the country, and still has time for golf, he has the right frame of mind. There are those that tend to only mix with older people of a similar age, but age should not restrict anyone regarding the friends they make, age does not matter in my opinion. Sadly I lost a good friend last December, passed away at home from pneumonia, and they were young, only in their early fifties. We never know when our time is up, and it's good that we don't, best to enjoy life as much as you can, while you can.

Yeah, but you know, a lot that starts to happen as you age is a direct result of the way we live.

And the fact that most make their transitions around 85 is also a result of that AND the fact that we've come to believe that that is normal.
Scientifically there is not a single reason whatsoever that we should physically age and become more and more frail & fragile and get diseases and ailments.
The only reasons that happens regardless are external: our belief, way of life, and of course stuff like alcohol, tobacco, other pollutions and unhealthy things.

This is scientific. I already found out about that in the 90s.
Because it isn't what should happen it is also possible to halt the process and even reverse a number of things.
That is becoming more and more mainstream knowledge but the masses still don't know, it still isn't taught in medical schools either.
But I guesstimate a couple of decades from now this will have changed.

And Trump... geezzz... not a great example, haha.
Fact that he's in control of a country doesn't mean he's capable and able to do that. The man is an ego-maniac. The worst I've ever seen.
But it seems to have become the new normal to have pensioners in position of president. Insane if you ask me.

I Googled it ---> international political analyses show that a significant portion —roughly a third or more of national leaders— are in their 70s, 80s, or 90s...

The president of Cameroon is 93???

With age comes wisdom and experience, or should do, so it is understandable why there are many 'Leaders' in their seventies plus.

If you read and believe in the Holy Bible, you will learn that God designed man to live forever, never die, man lost that when he disobeyed God and since that time we have all passed away in death. There is hope for us all and that hope is found in the Holy Bible, well worth a read.

I recently read somewhere, they hope one day to be able to download a person's thought waves from the brain on to a chip, so they can exchange your old body for some kind of humanoid robotic form of endoskeleton covered in a some new soft muscle and tissue then it's Plug and Play, a brand new you!! You could probably add a few optional extras as well. How's that for a future.

Yeah, they're busy with all kinds of silly chit to stop natural progress. Whoever "they" are. The ones who truly are in power in the world.
That kind of future is not for me.
I stick to natural.

If you spend 10 mins a day, preferably a few times during the day, in gratitude you already lengthen your telomeres. That means you are lengthening your life, adding years to your life. And health.
They done that research with a group and after 10 days their telomeres had gotten significantly longer, meaning they'd added -if memory serves- a year to their life.
It is that easy.
We don't need any artificial anything. Our bodies are so smart, so adaptable. Most people just lack the knowledge and we are inclined to be indifferent & lazy when it comes to our own health.

Going back to knowing what you need... for me a physical body :)