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| Topic: trying to decide | |
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I'm trying to decide whether I should take a break from men for awhile... not that I want to get together with a woman or anything either... But about 3 months ago I started talking to a guy who I was actually interested in on many different levels. (First time that's happened in a very very very long time). We hit it off, met in person several times, talked on the phone so much my last phone bill was almost 250$... and then within the last week he has slammed on brakes and has done a COMPLETE 180. He wants my "friendship" suddenly... which he already had... I know this means he isn't ready to make what we have a bonafied "relationship" and probably never will...
I'm disgusted with myself for opening up as much and as fast as I did and I'm thinking that it would be better to just take care of myself for awhile. But I realized in the last 3 months that I actually was looking forward to spending time with the guy and I'm wondering if it's HIM or just that he filled a void... Dating kinda sucks... but being alone all the time sucks too... a gym membership would be much easier on the emotions than all this! |
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This has happened to me... ALOT. My advice, either tell him how you feel or move on. I know that sounds kind of shallow, but if you spend your whole life wondering "What if," it can totally tear you apart >.> Believe me, i know!
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Better just to move on, but don't let him ruin your outlook on things. And, a gym membership actually does help. Gives you time to focus on you.
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Wow! Sorry you got your feelings hurt on this one.
 Sounds like you "fell" and he didn't. And it doesn;t sound, from what you wrote, that he was being misleading or deceiving..so you can;t blame him. Its something that has happened to most of us at some time in life or another. you just found yoursself liking him more than he liked you past the "friends" stage. So its ok to take some time off to heal. you are human, you got hurt. Just means you have a REAL HEART! And thats a GREAT THING!   So its up to you where you go from here. Good luck to you!
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Taking a break might not be a bad idea but don't close the door completely. I took a break after my last relationship and worked on me. Meaning, I took a good look at myself to try and understand why I get into toxic relationships and then try to fix it. Walking is a good idea but keep your options open
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It takes about 3 months to figure out if someone is right for you. I don't take it personally and hope that whomever I end a relationship with does not either. I am not self centered enough to think I am "all that" nor the right woman for every man on earth.
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Edited by
simplyleslie
on
Tue 01/01/08 12:18 PM
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Sounds like you "fell" and he didn't. And it doesn;t sound, from what you wrote, that he was being misleading or deceiving..so you can;t blame him. Its something that has happened to most of us at some time in life or another. you just found yoursself liking him more than he liked you past the "friends" stage. That's just it! He was the one going on about "if we were in a relationship" "if we were married" "when you move" "I should marry YOU" HE was the one using words, like "boyfriend" and saying the things that lead me to believe that there was something more to it. I told him I am hurt that he has misled me and he says he still wants to get to know me on a more platonic level... Now am I being a jerk by thinking that I don't really see any point in having a "buddy" who lives 2 hours from me? I mean seriously I don't see the guy driving down to take me to a movie and dinner. There's plenty of "friends" available right in our own neighborhoods. |
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I'm trying to decide whether I should take a break from men for awhile... not that I want to get together with a woman or anything either... But about 3 months ago I started talking to a guy who I was actually interested in on many different levels. (First time that's happened in a very very very long time). We hit it off, met in person several times, talked on the phone so much my last phone bill was almost 250$... and then within the last week he has slammed on brakes and has done a COMPLETE 180. He wants my "friendship" suddenly... which he already had... I know this means he isn't ready to make what we have a bonafied "relationship" and probably never will... I'm disgusted with myself for opening up as much and as fast as I did and I'm thinking that it would be better to just take care of myself for awhile. But I realized in the last 3 months that I actually was looking forward to spending time with the guy and I'm wondering if it's HIM or just that he filled a void... Dating kinda sucks... but being alone all the time sucks too... a gym membership would be much easier on the emotions than all this! haha so tru, gyms work mircales is more than one way.. go for it, you have nothing to lose. the only thing you are going to gain is physcial and mental health. now get your foot in the door and get in the gym woman! |
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haha so tru, gyms work mircales is more than one way.. go for it, you have nothing to lose. the only thing you are going to gain is physcial and mental health. now get your foot in the door and get in the gym woman! Yeah and when my body is looking like a sex machine... then who'll be looking for platonic crap? |
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well if you find any girl like that.. send her my way lol.
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well if you find any girl like that.. send her my way lol. LOL that's funny. |
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I read your dilemma with interest
However it occurs to me that although you know some of the answers so well how could you allow yourself to repeat mistakes over and over again But the way you derive your conclusions are so wrong which it will eventually hurt you, rob you of your youth and effect no one else except you? I couldn't help but writing a few words perhaps it may sink in I have been friends with a woman who is now 10000 miles away from me and is living contented with a person with whome she has a child and as a family they are very well off finantially and emotionally On the other hand I am divorced with a set of twin boys. This lady knows most intimate wishes and fears of mine knows what turns me on and what puts me off etc. When we joke the language is shocking to say the least. I have never slept with her and neither has she (To my knowledge) Her husband has accepted that he has no choice as we do not subscribe to any of that because we know eventually it will ruin our friendship and neither of us wants that . Going back is never an option going forward is. Get yourself dusted and consider this. Dating must remain fun and you should take from each date one positive thing that you say you like and move on. Don't rob yourself from your chances you and only you would be the loser Amen |
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I read your dilemma with interest However it occurs to me that although you know some of the answers so well how could you allow yourself to repeat mistakes over and over again But the way you derive your conclusions are so wrong which it will eventually hurt you, rob you of your youth and effect no one else except you? I couldn't help but writing a few words perhaps it may sink in I have been friends with a woman who is now 10000 miles away from me and is living contented with a person with whome she has a child and as a family they are very well off finantially and emotionally On the other hand I am divorced with a set of twin boys. This lady knows most intimate wishes and fears of mine knows what turns me on and what puts me off etc. When we joke the language is shocking to say the least. I have never slept with her and neither has she (To my knowledge) Her husband has accepted that he has no choice as we do not subscribe to any of that because we know eventually it will ruin our friendship and neither of us wants that . Going back is never an option going forward is. Get yourself dusted and consider this. Dating must remain fun and you should take from each date one positive thing that you say you like and move on. Don't rob yourself from your chances you and only you would be the loser Amen interesting advice. not sure it's right on target... as the question was simply trying to decide whether to take a break from dating or not. Not whether to go live in a cave with a guitar until I die. |
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a break from dating and hanging out with friends instead for a while is the time-honored tested and approved method of transition to moving on. either that or rebound guy of course!
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I think you should just keep going. Go a bit slower & dig deeper before you start to commit. Love words to soon are usually a red flag. "KISS (Keep it simple sister) it."
Slow & simple is a very safe speed. Stop takes you nowhere. |
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I am sorry you don't get the point
The whole purpose of the posting was to say to you that you shouldn't even ask the question both ways if you continue you will remain the same mess unless you change your outlook Capish??? |
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I am sorry you don't get the point The whole purpose of the posting was to say to you that you shouldn't even ask the question both ways if you continue you will remain the same mess unless you change your outlook Capish??? I am sorry that you got involved. First of all... I'm not a mess... this situation has caused a weird thing to happen in my heart... something that I'm not used to. I don't need some condescending man, who has only seen this small piece of my life, to begin passing judgement on me. Capiche? |
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a break from dating and hanging out with friends instead for a while is the time-honored tested and approved method of transition to moving on. either that or rebound guy of course! Yes, wise and simple advice. |
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