Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
All they ever kept saying was “Bach, Bach, Bach”.

Did you hear about the poker game between Vasco da Gama, Leif Erickson and Christopher Columbus? They never can seem to beat the Straits of Magellan.

A man goes ice fishing. He finds a spot, sits on his bucket and starts drilling a hole in the ice when he hears a voice saying “There are no fish down there.” He looks around but doesn’t see anybody so he continues to drill a hole in the ice when again he hears the same voice saying “There are no fish down there.” Again he looks around and still doesn’t see anybody so he continues to drill a hole in the ice when again he hears the same voice saying “There are no fish down there.” This time he looks up to the sky and says “Is that you God.?” The voice replies “No. this is the ice rink manager and I’m going to tell you once more there are no fish down there!”

Ok! Umm lol

A woman was in town on a shopping trip.
She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second.
In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang.
It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.
The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible.
As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques. She decided to get in a couple of more shops before heading to the hospital.
She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake slice, compliments of the last shop. She was jubilant.
Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital.
She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition. The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, “You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you ever take!
For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock care. And YOU will now be his carer!”
The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed.
The lady doctor then chuckled and said, “I'm just pulling your leg . . . He's dead. Show me what you bought.”

Sounds like a joke Blue Collar comedian Bill Engvall told once.

Too
FUNNY 🤣🤣🤣

I haven't talked to my wife in 5 years, I don't want to interrupt her.

Thank you Robin !

Gentleman

It’s probably a good thing since you know we women don’t like to be interrupted.

꧁༺Happy New Year JulieABush༻꧂

A women took a nap on New Years Eve.

When she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year’s present. What do you think it all means?”

He replied, “Aha, you’ll know tonight!”
At midnight, her husband handed her a small gift-wrapped present. Excited, she opened it quickly, but was even more surprised: In it was a book titled 
"The Meaning of Dreams"

KeepSmiling

Funny Robin .

funny for sure

that id good!

hilarious!!!

OMG! But funny!

A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The
Material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us
Sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your
Stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be Disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the 1 million germs in our drinking water."

"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all
Have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that
Causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said,

"Wedding cake."

Just before the congregation dismisses - Pastor announces he plans to speak about Colossians 3:9 next Sunday and he wants to expose the sin of lying. The Pastor went on to say that the congregation, when they get home, must read Mark 17 so that they will better understand his sermon.
The following Sunday - just before he began preaching, he asked the congregation if they had read Mark 17 and then lift up their hands. All the community members raise their hand.
Pastor: (Smile) Beloved - Mark only has 16 chapters - so let me continue my sermon about lying.