There is a theory that men overestimate their sex appeal and women underestimate .

Clearly a generalisation .. but my experience on this dating site leads me to believe there may be some truth in that statement .. perhaps there is more bravery online

How do you feel about this theory . Has this been your experience ??

What would account for such a warped self perception of sex appeal ??

Do you wake up each day and tell yourself .. how sexy you are ??

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We now go back to the discussion thread, which was started by someone with sex appeal. However you might want to avoid going into her dungeon.

Feel : men 50/50 , online 70/30
women 40/60 online 50/50
Account: desperation, poor self image.

Tell myself : I never have, barely even look in a mirror. The body language of women I meet is the only important gauge of how sexy I am.

It's definitely more online for sure. It is not totally narcissistic for a person to feel as such. It is a certain confidence, and men have more of the sex appeal than a female would appear to have, especially online. Online dating has brought out a lot more with their confidence, but that generally falls through when they can't keep up the appearance. I've known a few males that do literally wake up, give themselves a big grin in the mirror and go, damn I look good today.

With some of the Walking Refrigerator Women in this Forum Community, I Want to Become a Monk.

Can women go? I don't like the whole nun idea but a monk, that is something I'd totally be up for.

But on the actual comment side, I have noticed even with myself becoming a lot more jaded/cautious talking to people on these sites.

It's funny you bring up this subject. This was subject in my house recently. Lol

My 27 year old son advice to me was affirmations every morning, but our views differ. Every morning he gets up, looks in the mirror and tells himself how great he is. How handsome, successful,what a sexy bltch he is, how powerful he is and he was telling my 16 year old to do this to build confidence. I tried to tell him It's about making yourself a better person, not adding to your already huge ego. He's a Aries ... what are you going to do?! The ego is already large. He thinks he's god's gift to women and people feed into his ego based on pretty face. My other 3 are humble and down to earth people. God only allows one drama queen per family I think.

I told him I'm trying to change my prospective. My youngest is autistic and we're working on being more positive, having gratitude for everything in life and manifesting healthy good things into our life, helping those less fortunate. More about healty mind, body and soul. My affirmations are I'm enough, welcoming peace,happiness, abundance, love into my life everyday... Always positive as have to be an example first. Working on self improvement, self worth, self esteem, fear, guilt, self sabotage that comes along with grief, so this works for me.

I had a husband that only called me beautiful once in 32 years and that was on his deathbed, controlling, manipulative...so we're all healing.

I know I'm not ugly, but always think there's an alternative motive to men when they call me pretty, sexy, gorgeous or beautiful. What do they want? This is where self sabotage comes in and I run the opposite way. Their is probably a I hate Gia group on here. I really don't care, doing me. 🤣

Raising 4 humans with different personalities I've try to install good core values in my 3 boys and my only daughter. I praised them not on their beauty, but they accomplishments and achievements.

I know that's alittle off topic,but read between my widow brain and there's some good stuff here. Don't be like my son. LoL.

With the ego of some men it might be a good fit~~

I think I just failed the assignment 🤣

dodo if you ever visit nz I will let you choose where you want to visit you should not think of it as a dungeon but blondey’s fun room

mike you are way too hard on yourself .. obviously what you see is not what others see . You have a cheeky charm about you which is very sexy . I think your analysis is quite accurate .. especially the relevance of body language .

Cheeky, does that mean I have to get my wriggle on. If only I could comprehend those two words. 🤪

hello Athalia I wonder if online it has to do with self promotion and overcompensation rather than confidence . I admire confidence but I certainly don’t find all confident men who approach as sex gods lol . Perhaps I am too critical
Oh and I agree about the difficulty keeping up that appearance especially when meeting in person .. there is no hiding .

I totally understand what you are saying. My three are beautiful inside and out. I made it a point to always say how great they are about whatever they are doing, and how I love their outfit/hair/ anything physical so they felt more confident. Society now is first based on appearance, if you don't have the confidence to pull off your own style they end up feeling like an outcast. I myself am quite quirky and don't fall into a lot of social norms, but I am totally ok with that.

I can certainly picture you as a monk . Curious do modern day monks still wear the outfit with oversized hood . You do realise if you see women as “refrigerators “ you become less appealing to other woman . Keep up the good work

Hi Gia your comment about drama queens made me laugh . His age and focus on sexuality and how he is seen by his mates and peers is likely contributing to his ego . Not a bad thing unless he becomes arrogant and self serving . You sound like such a wonderful role model and I know from your other posts how difficult your personal struggle is . You are kind and have a lovely sense of humour . “You certainly are enough” bd I am sure overtime you will get your mojo back . The online world can be rough but it is also easy to misinterpret or read things into posts / messages that are imagined. I haven’t seen any hate towards you in the forums . Keep posting xox

making me laugh again … twice in one day I am pretty sure not just anyone can become a monk . The church has standards

I think Mike's analysis is pretty accurate from what I've experienced.

As far as whether I tell myself I'm sexy... Not everyday, but at least a couple of times a week. Depends on my mood, lol

Oh... Mike, go stand in front of the mirror and yell, "I'm sexy", three times, lol. I agree with Blondey... your charm is very sexy. So is your voice!

yoda says .. no failure there is , only learning lol

lol it could mean slake the booty your momma gave you but more realistically it means to get moving /time is wasting , hurry up . If I am the only that says that could just be a kiwi thing
Edit shake not slake .. not sure what that means