I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other damn one . . . It wasn't doing what I was doing.

Four years ago . . . No, it was yesterday….. Today I . . . No, that wasn't me……. DAMN Sometimes I …. . . No, I don't. DAMN brain farts

One time I went to a museum where all the work in the museum had been done by children. They had all the paintings up on damn refrigerators.

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?








Polaroids

DAMN I resolve...
I resolve to back up my new 400 GB hard drive daily... well, once a week... monthly, perhaps...

DAMN I resolve...
I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line.

DAMN New Year Wish
May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a day to your spouse, your child, your parent, your siblings; but not to your damn secretary, your damn nurse, your damn masseuse, your damn hairdresser or your damn tennis instructor.

DAMN I resolve...
I will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet.

The sky is falling.......................................... No………damn I'm tipping over backwards

DAMN

Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it damn right.

DAmn ,, new year is comming ,,, and no Cindy , Rose, Clancy, or GREY ,,,,,,,,,,,

DAMN Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits.

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep is this: To rise above the little damn things.

May all your damn troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling;
He who makes one is a damn fool.

I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a damn daily event for me.

Two men, and a trooper
Two men were driving through Texas when they got pulled over by a State Trooper. The cop walked up and tapped on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolled down the window and WHACK, the cop smacked him in the Head with his nightstick. "What the hell was that for?" the driver asked. "You're in Texas , son," the trooper answered. "When we pull you over in Texas , you better have your license ready by the time we get to your car." "I'm sorry, officer," the driver said, "I'm not from around here." The Trooper runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean and gives the guy his License back. The trooper then walks around to the passenger side and taps On the window. The passenger rolls down the window and "WHACK", the trooper Smacks him on the head with the nightstick. "What'd you do that for?" the passenger demands. "Just making your wish come true," replied the trooper. "Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asked. Because I know your type." the trooper says, "Two miles down the road You're gonna turn to your buddy and say, 'I wish that as*hole would've tried that sh*t with me'

For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.