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| Topic: THE DAM GAME......... - part 7 | |
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Too bad you can't just grab a damn tree by the very tiptop and bend it clear over the ground and then let her fly, because I bet you'd be amazed at all the damn stuff that comes flying out.
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(If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in damn parentheses.)
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I lived in a damn house that ran on static electricity... If you wanted to run the damn blender, you had to rub balloons on your damn head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off your damn sweater real quick.
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Damn once I was in a submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a damn kaleidoscope. "OMG We're surrounded."
 
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One of the patients in a mental hospital saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.
"Sir, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck." "Oh, he didn't kill himself," …... "I hung him up to DAMN dry."
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
DAMN
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My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.
So far today, I have finished two damn bags of chips and a damn chocolate cake. I feel DAMN better already. |
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dammmm dammm
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A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me.
My wife thinks she's a damn chicken!" The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?" "Two damn years," says the man. "Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the shrink. The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the damn eggs." |
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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
DAMN
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DAMN
It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird. |
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DAMN,,,,,,,You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted! |
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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the damn ceiling?
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I told the damn doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
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What do you mean, my damn birth certificate expired?
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Damn Damn Damn
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Two psychiatrists were walking down a hall.
One turned to the other and said, "Hello." The other one thought, "DAMN I wonder what he meant by that." |
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DAMN Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
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All the damn plants in my house are dead--I shot them last night. I had been torturing them by watering them with ice cubes. DAMN
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A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street, and... Ooooohhhhhh, that's much damn better...
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