Thank you my friend, be safe..

I posted this in another forum this morning..Food for thought.


December 30th

There is an old German folk tale in which the Good Fairy one gift: "the ability to foresee the outcme of everything she does".

It is a gift we could all use, especially when we give way to dispair, at all costs, to free ourselves from a situation that seems unendurable.

If we could visualize the outcome of a move such as breaking up a marriage, for example, we might not be so ready to deprive our children of a parent; we might shrink from the heavy responsibilities we'd have to meet. ABove all, we would still have to contend with our own shortcomings, the very ones that may have helped to bring us to the point of disperation.


If we want to make a major change which effects other lives as well, let me first consider the possible outcome. HAve I really tried to examine and correct my own faults? Is there a way for me to improve my attitude? I will let the great decision wait until I have tried that.

"The truly wise solution may lie in improving myself."

The only thing we can really count on in this world is change. I know I am not the same person now as I was in my 30's, my 20's or my teens. I'm thinking it is a good thing I did not draw such a hard line as 'Take me for what I am.. I ain't changing'. If I did... I could have become an emotionally 15 year old boy, stuck in a 44 year old body!

Many of those changes, both drastic and subtle happened in or as a result of relationships. There are some things in life that you just can't see about yourself without others involvement.

There is a saying that has held very true in my life. 'If you want to learn about your character defects, get into a relationship. If you don't want to learn about them, get a house plant, maybe a dog.'

What I do with that information is my choice. No one can make me change... but to do nothing is not growing. Not growing is pretty self defeating...not to mention, not too healthy for any relationship you might be in.

If you Love someone, Why would you want to change them, That being the case you never really Loved them in the first place.

I an't a changing for NOBODY.. Everyone should be Loved for who they are, we are all different and that is what makes us unique.

the only one I can change is me. Try to love everybody for who they are

i dont think its about changing ... its learning how to cope with each others needs..cause at my ripe old age dont think im gonna change much... nor would my partner...

Nah, you would change a little buttons...you would make alot more noise than you do now...

Its not that I am not open to change. Its that I'm pretty settled in my ways and don't want my routine and life overly disturbed.

well u can change on how u cope or deal with situations... only to a point though... guess it depends.... admiting u are wrong sometimes is always good cause no one is always right...... hard for some to do is admit they are wrong... now back to practicing my noise making...

Absolutely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your "ripe OLD age"????


(((hugs)))

yep.


yep

I KNOW that NO ONE can MAKE another CHANGE who they are, and like these members said above.
YOU ONLLY need to LOVE the person for WHO THEY ARE!
If YOU CAN"T then MOVE ON..
Because THEY will be WHO THEY ARE!

And YOU NEED to KNOW THAT!

To LOVE is to BE LOVED. and one has to except the other for, and with ALL THEIR indifferences and to LOVE their indifferences because THAT is THEM.
If the indifferences out weigh the love, then THE LOVE IS "NOT" REAL!

And YOU NEED to KNOW THAT!


"I: need to know that??

The post was put there by me for others to know I "ONLY" look at me and what (if anything) needs to change in me..

the only that any change for the good in a relationship is going to happen is if it is fully communicated and wanted by both parties. Its not fair to either if only one does the changing AND it tends to build resentment so it has defeated the purpose. So think about it... if you are not willing to change some for someone then you are not in the right relationship. Its not always about "take me as I am" if they re with you then they have, its about growing as a couple

Looking?????

Nope.

Never was, never will be, looking for what?

And why?

To fill a void? To replace loneliness with the warm fuzzies?

I have never been looking...and won't be.
I am a complete person with or without another.

I would prefer to meet someone who is also a complete person, and see what it is that we can create together, without the neediness, and the placing obligations on each other.

And that is exactly what has appeared...a complete self sufficient person, who shares similar ideals, and doesn't require 'fixing' or being 'fixed'..who also sees an opportunity for an adventure with someone.

Relationships are all about learning to relate, with no expectations, nor obligations by either party.

Being together is to enhance the already WHOLE experience we were having separately...not to create a 'whole' experience.

I hear a lot about 'found my other half'... and it makes me wonder, who would in their right mind, choose a half a person over a whole person?

So not looking, never was, but have been blessed to meet another like minded person, who also feels we can create more good in the world together, by joining forces.

VERY smart lady I see..

Great post Jess!! I also have no need to "find my other half", both halves are right here with me at all times. This was not always the case though, I must admit to that..

Thanks sweetie i learned from the school of hard knocks

If I had someone, and needed to change them, I would be attempting to make them into what I wanted. Why not just wait until what I want appears, and they will if I remain patient, if I remain "available" on a spititual, mental, emotional & physical plane..

I have a PhD from that school. Glad to see a classmate..(((hugs)))