I am broken hearted.. I just can't remember it hurting this much...

First of all, stop thinking of what's going in mind taking the past memories..
You are a human an emotions is to flow.. but you alone can control it.
Divert your mind in listening music or getting in with friends..

Can understand at present it's hard.
Person who is going from the pain or hard time can only know it better.

But you know yourself well.
you the ability to come out of it.
..You Can Do It.
Back to your routine life..
cheer up man..

This is a deep topic. my husband has cheated, been caught, cheated again. I found messages where he sent a picture of me to a female and was trash talking me for being FAT... he was telling her that I won't leave( hard to do when I don't have a car or job, because I raise his kids ( not mine) and since he is the husband I thought I was safe and secure. Now I see he says I am just a I secure jealous person, that won't let him leave... OK I am just now learning this is how he feels.
he tells me he cheats, bc he can't be with just female. He told another female that he wished he could have her for his girlfriend, and how beautiful she is.
This is the stuff that just let's you know, not everyone is out for a real relationship. I have given my all to this marriage, and all I have received is,... cheated on, degraded and beat. So as far as love.. it is no real, or atheist I have never felt the live from someone that I have felt for them.

I am so broken and shattered, I can barely breath on certain days, and the struggle of a broken heart is the hardest struggle I have endured.

Then why are you posting everywhere that you’re looking for a female to join you and your husband??

I suppose, that chap found out, what she posted here, and for that reason, he legged it?

You are not fat or anything less of a beautiful woman who can love and give to receive as you are cherished through my eyes and in my mind simply because you are so far away . I’d be happy to have you at my side through my journey in life amongst a broken world of selfishness and doubt . New world order my *** . I am here to defy that **** man calls order . I am Gemini they can not keep up with me . Xoxo darling hope to meet you someday so that I can show you how to feel the electrifying effect of passion that I retain within . I’d be delighted to share that feeling that radiates one’s soul just by starting with a touch and passionately moving deeper into one another.

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I'm a heart broken for many times too 🥺