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Topic: one for the guys what am i doin wrong
Jeepinfool's photo
Wed 12/26/07 10:50 PM
Edited by Jeepinfool on Wed 12/26/07 10:54 PM

my ex and ihave been separated for just over 2 years it was my fault for the separation but i have tried to make amends by confessing everything about the affair.at first when we separated i would spend nights at his place then he went and got a new girlfriend. i lost it, especially when i found out that just a month after they got together he gave her the most impressive set of rings i ever seen during this time she ended up moving into his place. well he started drinking along with her as she really liked to party even during the week he was never that kind of guy when we were living together i mean he would drink occasionallly but not like that He called me one night and told me that i was never to speak to him again and of course he was drunk on a week night no less to make a long story short i guess he got tired of the party thing and started stopping by my place in the morning for breakfast and like a fool who still loves him i made it for him! the relationship with her didn't last long and soon she moved out things were quite rocky for him because he said he really loved her but as time went on he started to give up on her. for the last 5 months now i have spent evry night at his place and doing EVERYTHING a wife should do while still keeping my place. now she is back in the picture just as a friend he says but once again he is drinking with her not as much but he is and there are times now when he pushes me aside for her i am not allowed to call him or text message him when he is with her but she can text him when he is with me because she doesn't know that he is with me she thinks that him and i don't speak and also does not know that i was spending the night at his house Everyone tells me he is just gettin both pieces of the pie and i should just bow out of the picture but how can i do that when i still really love the guy i just want to be with him again and don't think i have not asked i guess what i am asking is why is it that he knows he can come to me anytime day or night and i will be there no matter what and i will do anything for him and he knows i love him why does he go to her



WOW! i really cannot feel sorry for you, even though i do. i really want to support you and tip toe around your feelings, but ARE YOU KIDDING ME!, why are you allowing this to happen, do honestly think this will change. i had a friend that did this exact thing and i was pissed at him, i actually was going to fight this kid. i respect women, yet i can't find one as loyal to someone as that, and he had a great girl and decided to start messing around on her with another and they both knew about each other, and hated each other, but refused to blame him. honestly don't do this, you are feeding this asshole's ego and he will just keep doing this, once a cheater always a cheater

Jeepinfool's photo
Wed 12/26/07 10:53 PM
Edited by Jeepinfool on Wed 12/26/07 10:55 PM

my ex and ihave been separated for just over 2 years it was my fault for the separation but i have tried to make amends by confessing everything about the affair.at first when we separated i would spend nights at his place then he went and got a new girlfriend. i lost it, especially when i found out that just a month after they got together he gave her the most impressive set of rings i ever seen during this time she ended up moving into his place. well he started drinking along with her as she really liked to party even during the week he was never that kind of guy when we were living together i mean he would drink occasionallly but not like that He called me one night and told me that i was never to speak to him again and of course he was drunk on a week night no less to make a long story short i guess he got tired of the party thing and started stopping by my place in the morning for breakfast and like a fool who still loves him i made it for him! the relationship with her didn't last long and soon she moved out things were quite rocky for him because he said he really loved her but as time went on he started to give up on her. for the last 5 months now i have spent evry night at his place and doing EVERYTHING a wife should do while still keeping my place. now she is back in the picture just as a friend he says but once again he is drinking with her not as much but he is and there are times now when he pushes me aside for her i am not allowed to call him or text message him when he is with her but she can text him when he is with me because she doesn't know that he is with me she thinks that him and i don't speak and also does not know that i was spending the night at his house Everyone tells me he is just gettin both pieces of the pie and i should just bow out of the picture but how can i do that when i still really love the guy i just want to be with him again and don't think i have not asked i guess what i am asking is why is it that he knows he can come to me anytime day or night and i will be there no matter what and i will do anything for him and he knows i love him why does he go to her



and to awnser the question of what are you doing wrong, you are doing nothing wrong, he is, and he will keep doing this to you and the cycle will continue and this guy or should i say worm, will keep doing this to every girl he comes in contact with. do yourself a favor and for every women who has been treated this way and walk away, there are plenty of guys who would not do this to you, out there, good luck....

Rebel4x4s's photo
Wed 12/26/07 10:58 PM
you started it now the pay back remember that
you want it to stop ????? then walk away and dont turn back
you cheated first remember that but walk away

Jeepinfool's photo
Wed 12/26/07 11:08 PM

you started it now the pay back remember that
you want it to stop ????? then walk away and dont turn back
you cheated first remember that but walk away



i agree with you man, but even if she did it first, he should have been man enough to leave her and not play childish, tit for tat games with her, thats the problem with society, we think we have to make people pay for everything they do to them

Rebel4x4s's photo
Wed 12/26/07 11:10 PM
I agree but that is how painful it is and well pay backs are a ***** sorry want to make it better and want my sympothy ????????? learn from your mistake and then make the effort to make your life better

Jeepinfool's photo
Wed 12/26/07 11:17 PM
believe me partner, i love paybacks, but all it does is perpetuate the cycle and no one wins

shady7414's photo
Wed 12/26/07 11:18 PM
honestly because if you would still be there for me while I am with another woman on occasion that would be great... I mean who likes eating the same cheerios for breakfast everymorning.... gotta be able to mix it up a little

no photo
Thu 12/27/07 06:53 AM
DUMP his a$$.

Nervesgone's photo
Thu 12/27/07 06:58 AM
Short and sweet!


RUN like hell!!!!


HE is a player!!drinker

kojack's photo
Thu 12/27/07 07:04 AM
Move on !

oldsage's photo
Thu 12/27/07 07:10 AM
Draw the line & never step back over it.
You started all this, you know what you need to do to stop it.
Chips will fall as they will.

deettah's photo
Thu 12/27/07 07:44 AM
Raven honey, I recently went through the very same situation with my ex husband. The best thing I ever did was to stop talking to him. After a few months I was able to step back and see him for what he was. Though it was not my fault for our seperation, he was verbally abusive to myself and my young son, he made me feel as though it was my fault. I had such low self worth that I allwoed him to continue hurting me. I finally found solace in those I could trust, my friends and family and I am happy to say I feel more and more like myself every day. It will take time. The first step it to stop seeing and talking to him. One day at a time.

parttime_vikingfan's photo
Thu 12/27/07 02:03 PM
The guy was hurt bad and you know it! I think that your guilt is making you pay the high price you are paying. He will punish you as long as you allow him too. Forgive yourself, you have suffered more than enough. We all make mistakes. Only then can you move on. He will still be kickin your as$ as you close the door on him, but you must. He will never forgive you and hurt you with every turn, so the sooner the better. Remember!!!!!!!! Forgive Yourself

flyankee07's photo
Thu 12/27/07 02:06 PM
It's time for you to move on lady. And when he comes begging you to take hime back. Remember what all these ppl in here are telling you.

hiker1kvn's photo
Thu 12/27/07 06:02 PM
It is understandable to be doormat like considering the legnth of your marriage. I understand women have an affair because of a flaw in the relationship, whereas men do it for the thrill. I think there are codependancy issues floating around here. You gotta hear these people who suggest breaking it off. Getting counseling is good too. Get your life going in a new direction

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