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| Topic: Dating someone with an illness | |
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you only know what health really is until you dont have it
offensive people are the worst |
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Edited by
mysticalview21
on
Wed 02/10/21 07:35 AM
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Would you date someone if they told you they had an ongoing incurable illness (not contagious!), but they were unsure of the prognosis? I am a little confused here ->if they told you they had an ongoing incurable illness but they were unsure of the prognosis? when we are young and think ... nothing can hurt us ... then you may fall in love with someone who has a illness or come down with a illness ...generally people stay and help the one they love ... but to go in knowing what you have asked and being older ... I do not believe I could take care of someone with a illness ... becouse it is hard to just take care of myself ... not to say I could not have a friendship with someone with a illness or even love them ... but not in that way ...I deal with this a lot in my own family ... so I can understand both situation ... an is very hard ... |
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No one said an illness does define a person . When it comes to choosing a potential date .., Health can be a preference . Just like ethnicity .. body size . Height . ..Weight etc ., And that is quite ok . If someone is not attracted to obesity for example . It is a Sexual preference . Why should health be viewed differently ??? No you are quite right, nobody did say an illness defines a person, it was noted that an illness doesn’t define a person. Of course we all make choices when choosing a potential partner which is our right, and I’m not saying health would or should be viewed differently after all it is down to personal choice. But what if the prognosis was uncertain, as I mentioned before with something like MS |
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My nephew dated and then married a woman with MS.
At first it wasn't bad but now as time passes her health deteriorates as well as her cheerful attitude. She has 'bad' days where she is rather unpleasant. My nephew is a patient man. He deals with the downward changes in his wife. He loves her. I asked a few years ago how he feels about her MS and he told me it brings them closer. Knowing she will die from it causes those 'good' days to be even better. Personally, I'm living on borrowed time myself. I was told I would die 7 years ago. There's no defined reason but my body is shutting down. My GF accepts this. Her diabetes and stress are killing her. I accept this. We both have good days and bad days yet we enjoy each other's presence all the same. Her cheerful attitude bleeds into me and she claims the same. We both accept our limited physical activities as the way it is and we have other ways to share ourselves. Thirty years ago, when I was strong and healthy it would probably be a different story. However, I'm not as I was 30 years ago and neither is she. We accept the reality and live in the moment. |
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Not everyone loves at the same capacity. If we do why is there so much indifference? Why do we feel hurt when someone doesn't love us the way we want? Everyone has the right to chose who and how they love I certainly have not suggested otherwise. I myself have no regrets of ever loving anyone in my life. When you give love you may not get it back. It happens. Another time you may give love and its returned 10 fold but cut short or comes with suffering due to an illness. I've experienced both. I'm sure I'm not alone. I agree RCB. Love is just a word to some people and they genuinely do not know how to love or are incapable of it. Narcissists are an example. |
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My nephew dated and then married a woman with MS. At first it wasn't bad but now as time passes her health deteriorates as well as her cheerful attitude. She has 'bad' days where she is rather unpleasant. My nephew is a patient man. He deals with the downward changes in his wife. He loves her. I asked a few years ago how he feels about her MS and he told me it brings them closer. Knowing she will die from it causes those 'good' days to be even better. Personally, I'm living on borrowed time myself. I was told I would die 7 years ago. There's no defined reason but my body is shutting down. My GF accepts this. Her diabetes and stress are killing her. I accept this. We both have good days and bad days yet we enjoy each other's presence all the same. Her cheerful attitude bleeds into me and she claims the same. We both accept our limited physical activities as the way it is and we have other ways to share ourselves. Thirty years ago, when I was strong and healthy it would probably be a different story. However, I'm not as I was 30 years ago and neither is she. We accept the reality and live in the moment. Beautiful Tom. It is very encouraging to hear and so very mature, because we are all going to get older, infirm and if our partner walks, well .... 
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My nephew dated and then married a woman with MS. At first it wasn't bad but now as time passes her health deteriorates as well as her cheerful attitude. She has 'bad' days where she is rather unpleasant. My nephew is a patient man. He deals with the downward changes in his wife. He loves her. I asked a few years ago how he feels about her MS and he told me it brings them closer. Knowing she will die from it causes those 'good' days to be even better. Personally, I'm living on borrowed time myself. I was told I would die 7 years ago. There's no defined reason but my body is shutting down. My GF accepts this. Her diabetes and stress are killing her. I accept this. We both have good days and bad days yet we enjoy each other's presence all the same. Her cheerful attitude bleeds into me and she claims the same. We both accept our limited physical activities as the way it is and we have other ways to share ourselves. Thirty years ago, when I was strong and healthy it would probably be a different story. However, I'm not as I was 30 years ago and neither is she. We accept the reality and live in the moment. I’ve read and re read what you’ve written Tom, and your nephew is an amazing man. MS is such a unpredictable illness and affects everyone differently. Even if someone has the same MS as somebody else, they probably won’t experience the symptoms in the same way. Although MS itself is rarely fatal, complications may arise from severe MS and the average life expectancy for people with MS is around 5 to 10 years lower than average, but the gap is getting smaller all the time. As for your own health and that of your girlfriend, I think it is amazing you have found each other and can cherish your time together. As Notlooking so rightly said, we are all going to get older and who knows what that has in store for us.... there but for the grace of God go I |
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Yes I can have a relationship with woman who’s having health challenges, illness with joyful heart is more easy for the illness to be taken away... happiness matters.. serious Mature lady only... please no games player
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Would you date someone if they told you they had an ongoing incurable illness (not contagious!), but they were unsure of the prognosis? Online? No. If I am presented with a dozen profiles of women I find attractive, all have seemingly great personalities, and one profile says "I have an ongoing incurable illness and I am unsure of the prognosis?" I am going to pursue the other 11 profiles. Offline? Maybe. If there's someone I am consistently interacting with, I am extremely attracted to them, we are friendly and flirtatious, we are neither looking for something immediately committed or "serious," we date, we realize we want to keep dating, and they tell me they have an "ongoing incurable illness, but unsure of the prognosis?" I might keep dating them. Kinda depends on the illness. |
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Would you date someone if they told you they had an ongoing incurable illness (not contagious!), but they were unsure of the prognosis? Online? No. If I am presented with a dozen profiles of women I find attractive, all have seemingly great personalities, and one profile says "I have an ongoing incurable illness and I am unsure of the prognosis?" I am going to pursue the other 11 profiles. Offline? Maybe. If there's someone I am consistently interacting with, I am extremely attracted to them, we are friendly and flirtatious, we are neither looking for something immediately committed or "serious," we date, we realize we want to keep dating, and they tell me they have an "ongoing incurable illness, but unsure of the prognosis?" I might keep dating them. Kinda depends on the illness. Yes I get what you are saying with the online dating, but if you met someone and started dating and then they told you they had an illness/degenerative disease would you not feel like they had been dishonest with you? Would you not feel they should have told you before the date? |
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It is only a date, why not? Maybe one will learn something from the other. 🤩 
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