'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the trailer
Not a creature was stirrin' 'Cept a redneck named Taylor.
His first name was Bubba, Joe was his middle,
And a-runnin' down his chin was a trickle of spittle.
His socks, they were hung by the chimney with care,
And therefore there was a foul stench in the air.
That Bubba got scared and rousted the boys.
There was Rufus, 12; Jim Bob was 11;
Dud goin' on 10; Otis was 7.
John, George and Chucky Were 5,4, and 3:
The twins were both girls So they let them be.
They jumped in their overalls, No need for a shirt,
Threw a hat on each head, Then turned with a jerk.
They ran to the gun rack That hung on the wall.
There were 17 shotguns; They grabbed them all.
Bubba said to the young'uns,
"Now hesh up ya'll!
The last thing we wanna do Is wake up yer Maw."
Maw was expecting And needed her sleep,
So out they crept out the door Without making a peep.
They all looked around, and then they all spit.
The young'uns asked Bubba,
"Paw, what is it?"
Bubba just stared; He could not say a word.
This was just like all of The stories he'd heard.
It was Santy Claus on the roof, Darn tootin'
But the boys didn't know; They was about to start shootin'!
They aimed their shotguns and nearly made a mistake
That would have resulted in venison steak.
Bubba hollered out,
"Don't shoot, boys!"
That's Santy Claus And he's brought us some toys.
The dogs were a-barkin' And a-raisin' cain,
And Bubba whistled, and shouted, And called them by name.
"Down, Spot! Shut up Bullet! Quiet, Pete and Roscoe!
Git, Turnip and Tater and Sam and Bosco!"
"Git down from that porch! Git down off that wall!
Quit shakin the trailer, Or you'll make Santy fall!"
The dogs kept a-barkin' And wouldn't shut up,
And they trampled poor Pete Who was only a pup.
Santy opened his bag, And threw out some toys.
Bubba got most, But left a few for the boys.
Since the guns had been dropped He just might not die.
He jumped in his sleigh, Told his reindeer to hurry.
The trailer started to wobble Santa started to worry.
Just as the reindeer Got into the air,
The trailer collapsed, But Bubba didn't care.
He was busy lookin' At all his new toys.
Then a thought hit him, And he said to the boys:
"Go check on yer Maw, Make sure she's all right.
That roof fallin' on her Could-a hurt just a might."
But Maw was OK, And the girls were too.
They fixed up the trailer; It looked good as new.
And as for Bubba, He liked Old St. Nick,
But Santa thought Bubba Was a pure-in-tee hick!
Bubba had a nice Christmas, And the boys did, too.
And the Taylors wish A Merry Christmas to you!

I live in Kentucky and you wouldnt believe how realistic this is!!!

TOO FUNNY MIRROR THAT IS SCAREY ... CUTE POEM

there's a slightly different version here in texas;

twas the fight before christmas when all through the house
no furniture left standing no tv or couch

mamaw was flung 'cross the room by her hair
by her sister ethel who never fought fair

the children all wrastled and jumped off the beds
dropin' elbows and knees on each others heads

and granny with a fryin' pan and papaw with his bat
cleared half the room in ten seconds flat

the whole brawl beginned from an inocent matter
when aunt flo thought eugene said she looked a whole lot fatter

she knocked him through the window he fell with a crash
tore down the gutters and busted his ass

see both sides o' the family never have gotten along
so every holiday somethin' always goes wrong

ya aint s'posed ta fight but spread joy in this season
but when given the nod they just look for a reason

its a time for giving said uncle bill
as he gave a black eye to his brother in law phil

in no time at all everybody joined in
right there we squared off with the closest of kin

presents and fists flew all over the room
and nanna had some fancy moves with a broom

she took out three cousins and knocked down the tree
and i ducked just as sheswung 'round at me

i crawled to the phone lord it seemed like a mile
and called 911 which was kept on speed dial

in no time at all out the window appeared
blue lights and sheriff john deer

just then six men burst in the door
some yelled hands up some get on the floor

a straight punch from grampaw found the sheriffs chin
and just for good measure he clocked him again


we all stopped our fightin' and cheered grampaw on
heck i thought he could take em but i guessed wrong

it took all six cops to get grampaw in cuffs
dang he gets fiesty if he runs outta snuff

as they dragged him outside he yelled i've been framed
he waskickin' and screamin' and callin' 'em names

we stood on the porch as did all the neighbors
who always took intrest in the fam'lys behavior

by now we'd forgotten what we'd be fightin' for
we were battered and bruised but united once more

then we all joined hands and sang silent night
and we heard grampa exclaim as they drove outta sight
merry christmas to all damn what a goo fight!