I need some advice. I have met a wonderful man. We are about the same age, have the same likes/dislikes, have really hit it off as friends. There is a HUGE spark for more to happen. Sounds great, right? My problem is he isn't the same color as me. I myself am not prejudice, but I know the world is to a degree. I know my mom is-so it would be difficult to bring this guy home. Do I throw caution to the wind and pursue what could be my true love-or do I continue to worry about what every one else thinks?

You have to make your own decisions and do what makes you happy not what makes others happy. If you feel as though there is something more go for it and if your mom really loves you she will accept it and be happy for you....just my thoughts...lifes too short to try to make everybody happy cause it's not possible!!!

If you don't at least try to have a relationship with him you may regret it for the rest of your life.
You can not live your life but what anyone else thinks you should or shouldn't do. They are not you and do not know what is best for you, even if she is your mom.
It's really sad to hear that people even have this dilem, whether you should date someone based on their color.

Thank you-I will keep that in mind.

Hopefully, given some time... you could start to change your mom's mind by showing her how great this man is.

That is true. I guess I worry-because I have lived in the same country town forever and everyone knows everyone and most of them are stupid rednecks. I want to live my life the way I want too-but I don't want to be the town gossip subject either. I wish it was a simple descision.

Well I guess you should ask yourself this... If you already know they are "stupid rednecks" why would you worry about what they think of you?? Or worse, ruin a potentially lasting & loving relationship based on what they think?

I'll tell you I won't be putting my love life in the hands of some "stupid rednecks", I have enough trouble as it is :)

We live in a different world now. A more educated world. Skin color is only the melatonin levels in a persons body. LOL. You need not worry what everyone else thinks. You and this person are worthy of love. That is all that matters. I come from a large multicultural, multireligious family with many philosophies. All the differences en likenesses are what make such a rich love in our family. To think about in relation to skin color archaic thinking. The complicated element is the cultural mix. There is a tendency to lump-sum cultures and that is not condusive to fact the culture is everychanging. Better to think for yourself than rely on the thoughts of others on this. The question you ask for yourself...what if your philosophy about this? If all is acceptable for you both, it is. Simple.

Thank you for your honesty. I think I am gonna go for it. Thanks again.

Let us know how it goes! :)

TRY NOT TO WORRY ABOUT OTHER PEOPLES VIEW.
YOUR THE ONE SHARING YOUR LIFE WITH HIM...
THEY ARE'NT.
(MAKE SENSE?)

No one can live your life for you. I believe in doing what makes you happy.

"Follow Your Bliss."

You are an adult now, right? Your mother does not own you.

She will disagree with your decision out of racism, but you will know better because you understand that times are-a-changin. The world is moving toward a more co-existant mindset and your mom ain't willin to be a part of it.

It's not her fault, though. She was raised with certain values different from your own, and they have been crystalized within her value system. As a younger individual your mindset is more fluid and adaptible, but understand that you will be in her shoes one day because it's something that happens naturally with age.

For now, though, know that your mom doesn't possess your fluid mindscape as she did when she was your age, and disregard the values of racism that she imposes on you. disregard what the world says when it tells you not to "mix God's rainbow into an ugly gray" like the KKK says... because that's not part of what the world is progressing toward.

feel free to date whomever you please and don't apologize for these decisions.

I grew up in West Virginia where I saw almost no racism since there is almost no racial diversity. I started dating a guy from out of state who came to visit me for Thanksgiving. A big tall, black guy. I was worried (though, not enough to not have him come, obviously,) about what sort of a reaction we would get as a couple.

Nothing happened. Everyone just treated us like a "regular" couple. Sometimes you expect problems that just don't come to be. So my advice would be just to follow your heart and understand that all relationships have obstacles, but you can overcome them.

That's awesome!! Glad to hear that it worked out like that.

I say screw everyone else. Do what you feel is right.

I found the the following to work:

I bring black girl home

Dad gets angry

I tell Dad to $%@# off because I don't care what he thinks

Dad calms down because he knows I'm willing to fight over it

*Problem Solved*!

It comes down to do what you think is right, and the hell with everybody else!

For YOU to "WANT" to ask THIS question, Tells me YOU "SEE" him as INDIFFERENT than "YOU".

THATS A BIG PROBLEM, "ALREADY"..

A person's COLOR should ONLY be seen from WITH-IN,
NOT "their" outside SHADES, but "HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT THEIR SELF", and WHAT "THEY" project to YOU!

If YOU think of him in YOUR mind and SEE him as DIFFERENT, then HE IS ALREADY in YOUR thoughts as a "COLOR",,,,,,,,
NOT just ANOTHER HUMAN BEING LIKE "YOU",,,,but,,,,,D`I`F`F`E`R`E`N`T?


If YOU were ALREADY "SECURE" with HOW YOU "SEE" ALL PEOPLE, then "YOU" could "NEVER" ask "THIS" question here.

And NO RELATIONSHIP can have a TRUE "START" if "YOU" already question the LOOK or CARE about,, "OTHERS" opinions,,,,,,OVER,
WHATS IN "HIS" HEART!

Just my OPINION.....GOOD LUCK on "MAKING HIM FIT-IN"....with YOUR PEOPLE!!!!

WEll your asking this question so as far as I can see you are having doubts yourself. One must work within on there own doubts first then go with what you want not what the rest of the world wants.