How do you get a girl to fall in love with you, if she's a close friend

Sorry to break it to you but you can’t make anyone fall in love with you.

seems fair, but everything is there the chemistry, the comfort, the ability to share anything, and we spend a lot of time together and alone, and never seem to get bored of each other, she might have some feelings, but she recently broke up with her boyfriend too so, and i know she's afraid that if we start dating, and something goes wrong we'll stop being friends

These are all observations from your perspective...it does make a pretty picture in your mind; however, this will not be the first time the needle of reality has pierced a balloon of hopes, wishes, and dreams...if she has tasted love before, there should be nothing wrong with her recognition palate...and that could also mean she is quite satisfied with the status quo...

How's his credit score?

well i sincerely hope you're wrong, im not the type that falls in love or anything even close to that, but im sure about her. I see the way she looks at me when something happens, or the fact that she tells more things than a girl ever shares with a guy, when she's in trouble she calls me first, and the amount of care she shows, its not normal between friends. im not sure about most things in life, but this im sure about, i know its just wrong timing, so my main question is how do i help her be sure

sorry?

I don't.
IMO that's a terrible thing to try and do.
I prefer to respect boundaries.
We're friends for a reason.
I prefer to appreciate things for what they are and try to avoid proving the Peter Principle.

Personally, I see this as no different from asking "How do you get your stepdaughter to fall in love with you? I'm not married to her mother anymore and it's not like we're related by blood. I helped raise her and we got real close, but I realize now that I'm in love with her. How do I get her to stop seeing me as her stepfather and start seeing me as a potential lover and mate?"

IMO when you play the "friends first" or "fell in love with my friend!" game, all you're ultimately doing is teaching them "hey, you can't trust friends to not have ulterior motives, and any boundaries established over time don't really mean anything."

Not to mention what's positive about this situation: "Hey! We're close friends...but like I can't honestly talk to you about how I feel and what's going on with me, so I went with my one sided biased approach and asked a bunch of online strangers advice about our relationship and how to change it in order to get more of my emotional (and possibly physical) needs met."


If that were true, this thread wouldn't exist.
If that's not really true about your relationship...then about what else are you lying to them or yourself?


IMO you've already stopped being friends.
Either "the ability to share anything" is a lie that doesn't really exist, or it used to be there but now that has changed and you're keeping your feelings from her (not sharing "anything" anymore, again, if you did this thread wouldn't exist).

Relationship has changed, you're not sharing everything, especially things of major significance.

Other than that, the excuse "I don't want to lose the friendship!" is BS.
Here's a translation: "I like using you like an emotional tampon and fluffer while I try to date up. I like keeping you in the background as my safety net."

And my god, did you read what you wrote here:

So basically she was cheating on her boyfriend with you, and you orbited her, fluffing her?
But she still chose to remain in at least that relationship for how long?
For how long was she banging some other guy in a "serious" relationship while she "looked at you that way, tells you more than a girl shares with a guy, calls you first when she's in trouble, showing more care than is normal between friends?"

At best this thread reads as "I've had ulterior motives this entire time! Now's my chance, what's the best way to manipulate this opportunity towards my success?"
At worst it's "I've been helping my friend cheat on her boyfriend(s), at least emotionally, making sure she can't completely bond with her potential mates."

So, "How do you get a girl to fall in love with you, if she's a close friend?"
In this situation, based on the information in the thread, "love" isn't really possible.
At best what's going to happen is you have sex with your friend, then either you start to withdraw, or she starts saying "it just happened!" and "it was a mistake," and the "friendship" ends anyway.

At worst what's going to happen is you start passive aggressively trying to communicate your unrequited "love," she keeps taking advantage but maintaining distance until she finds a new guy to start dating and banging and calling you whenever there's a problem, and you're in this same situation when that fails.

Good luck with that!

You can not make someone fall in love with you. Best way I can tell you is just be yourself support you friend. Sometime just that could possible make a spark. Always can ask her on a date, open the door, get a rose but do not change the way you are to make someone fall in love with.

Michael Massey

Hi Kev .. it is a difficult situation to be in . Have you told her your feelings ?? I was once in a similar situation with a close friend ... only I knew in my heart that I wasn’t attracted to him as anything more than a friend . I used that same line . That I didn’t want to lose his friendship . In the end we went on a date . It only confirmed for me what I already knew . . After that our friendship changed . I avoided him and sadly over time we stopped being friends . It can be difficult to maintain a friendship when one of you has a romantic attachment . You could always ask her if she is attracted to you romantically . Have you dated other women during your friendship ??? If she is your sole focus (and wants only friendship from you ) then you should consider making time to spend meeting other women . . . Best of luck

Bacon!

Chicks dig bacon.

You forgot shoes.

It's never going to happen, in my opinion you are clearly in the Friend Zone.

Welcome to Mingle2 and good luck in your search.