Topic: cheating
UWannaBSpontaneous's photo
Thu 12/20/07 08:27 AM



because youre in a relationship......stop one before you start another its not fair to everyone involved.....i said wanting to be a ho i didnt say you were one......


You are right. I apologize.

However, it was a good call because that's the way you will be looked at when/if someone finds out. My ex still looks at me that way. I have 2 children and while I knew the relationship was ending even I didn't want to admit it. I wanted to be happiliy married for life. I went through 5 years of hell before I jumped.

When I look back on it I was looking for answers in that I thought there wasn't anything "good" out there..... as I stepped forward into it the pace took over and I didn't want to loose the opportunity to be with that person. If I had waited maybe it wasn't going to happen type of thing.

Honestly I can't say I ever regretted doing it as it injected life into me. However, I regret that it had such a huge effect on the ex-wife. She still makes it seem like that was the problem. It was far from it.

I never cheated again on any gl and I am better for it. Not always easy though cause when you place yourself in that line of target things can happen. I pay attention to those situations and exit quickly now.









no photo
Thu 12/20/07 08:28 AM

way to come out and publicly admit you want to be a ho


I kind of take issue with that remark.

I would have rather read something like that.. then be sucked into a triangle.

Temptation is something that everyone is susceptible to. Especially when living in an unhealthy relationship. Pretending you are not, when you are tempted is kind of taking a big leap toward acting on it. This woman is at least being honest about it.

I've been on two sides of this triangle to date. Cheated on in marriage.. and being the unknowing extracurricular activity.. Both sides sucked.

Flirty... If you truly care for this guy you are tempted to be with? Then don't drag him into your mess.

It's easy to pretend that the only ones you are hurting is the father of your child and maybe your child. The reality is.. everyone involved gets hurt. Even your family and his... friends.. All the lying has a ripple effect, and it is pretty hard to overcome once you are in it. I witnessed someone who was probably a pretty honest person at one time.. reduce herself to levels of dishonesty I've never observed before. She was lying about almost every aspect of her life to every one she knows. I imagine she still is.

Everyone she has effected will probably recover. She may not. Each day she continues she gets deeper. Soon she will be so deep there won't be a way out. Which is a shame.

The worst part? Is the damage you do to yourself.

soundedmind's photo
Thu 12/20/07 08:28 AM
Leave him. Don't cheat.

dcrdnk's photo
Thu 12/20/07 08:30 AM

you probably will feel guilty, do you think it is the end of the relationship or a bump in the road. Because if it is a bump then cheating will make it a mountain. It will feel great with the new guy ( the grass is always greener ) but that will probably wear off too. I would try my best to work it out with your baby's daddy. If you cannot do that , then just call it quits because once you cheat , you can never go back. Though cheating will seem alittle exciting and fun but just think real hard. Best of luck to you.


Very well said.







Can't think of 1 who didn't cheat on me. Woulda had more respect if they sold it or said see ya grumble grumble glasses

no photo
Thu 12/20/07 08:30 AM
hey flirty? when you get to the other side where the grass is greener, you're gonna find out that is mainly weeds........

chuck366's photo
Thu 12/20/07 08:32 AM

hey flirty? when you get to the other side where the grass is greener, you're gonna find out that is mainly weeds........


weed sounds good to me? oh wrong ones

mrsoonerrich78's photo
Thu 12/20/07 08:32 AM
im richie if u need a friend im a good listern

Mossop's photo
Thu 12/20/07 08:36 AM
Just like to say that I have been on the receiving end of this kind of situation, our problem was only that I worked to much, Now I bring up my 5 year old son alone (with the help of child minders) ....Ok so it works But not the ideal

Some games you can never win.

uk1971's photo
Thu 12/20/07 08:36 AM
Edited by uk1971 on Thu 12/20/07 08:40 AM

yes i know its so hurtful and wrong to do, but i cant help my feelings


You're only 24, and have kids. Before you think of cheating. You ought to put your life in perspective.
WHO will end up bearing the brunt of the agony when you get found out? THE KIDS Because be assured. You WILL be found out sooner or later.
Think of the damage you'd be doing to them.
Talk to your partner/bf. Tell him how you feel. If possible and neccessary, try going to counselling.
CHEATS NEVER PROSPER

chuck366's photo
Thu 12/20/07 08:39 AM
dont worry about men, worry about being a mom...........and you shouldn t be bashed for being honest, though you should really re-think things

buttons's photo
Thu 12/20/07 08:40 AM
i agree if u truley care for your friend... dont do this to him either.. cause he is always gonna wonder if u will do it to him.. doesnt start a relationship with trust at all.. for it will never in the end work....... just not good all around for everyone....

UWannaBSpontaneous's photo
Thu 12/20/07 08:41 AM
Edited by UWannaBSpontaneous on Thu 12/20/07 08:45 AM
Yeah... My ex-wife always told the kids I cheated with 5 women and named all of them. My kids were 4 and 7 at the time. I never thought she would be that low as to do that to our children when it was our problem.

The reality was that it was 1 person.

Mountain is right and you find out that a person can be even meaner than you thought possible. I had to call CPS twice on her after the divorce. On both occassions they found her to be as mean as I told them she was and they told her to knock it off. My kids are now 11 and 14 and now understand the situation but it was a rough couple of years.

Yep! Don't cheat.... I've been on both sides and it sucks either way in the end.

I like the suggestion of being a mom for now...... If I could do it over, I'd have left and concentrated on my kids and career first. That would have made a better difference in retrospect I believe.....

J




CaRisLOVE's photo
Thu 12/20/07 08:49 AM
cheat on him and your no better than tha other women out there

zanne46's photo
Thu 12/20/07 08:57 AM
I believe u have missed the point.Thats the diferrence of maturity from 24..34..44..104. No one is or is trying to downgrade or insult u.

Simply telling u the truths of facts that u asked for...

Ur way of life and thinking at the moment r going to colide....colisions r devistating....

In order to grow to be a strong independant woman and mother of 2....everyone has given u great advise...

Don't get defensive..another tool u need to throw away...and replace it with a much handier one that works best in many areas of ur life...

I chose to stick around til my boys were 5 and 6....stopped arguing back..we then cohabitated with a decent amount of harmony.....I chose to find happinesss within my self...and yep hanging with my babies.....

They were my sunrise, sunshine,and sunsets....

When I moved on..I went back home.....worked 3 jobs..left my kids with my mom only 1 1/2 hrs per day.....I was doing work in the same field as u...I realize a 6 month old can't be in school so that would need some help....

I chose to be on my own for 3 yrs....and when I wasn;t even looking some one came a long....I still feel and yearn for those 3 yrs....the peace, tranquility and independance....molded me to raise my to sons.....it was the best thing I ever did....to get a start....

One must learn to be with them selves before they can be with some one else....jumping from 1 to another is not always benificial for our own growth in this great big world...then to even remotely "THINK" about bringing someone else into the mix....is wrong....

U have choices...please make them wise ones...otherwise....what will u have to offer ur children in areas of life issues they r going to come face to face with...

At 46 I am broke, alone, yet satisfied.....scared....misss my grown sons terribly....I sacrificed many things I wanted...for the best interest of who I brought into this world....it's no longer always about us any more when we have children...

This I am sure is a scary time for u...been there....but anything is possible...especially if u choose the flatter ground to go down.....

Over laps of relationships don't work...if u enter a relationship with deceptions..they will bite u in the ass at some point...

My best to u....flowerforyou flowerforyou

lovesflowerstoo's photo
Thu 12/20/07 08:57 AM
first and foremost....STOP TALKING TO HIM....when your down and out, people say things that you want to hear to make think you'll feel better if you do it their way...when you feel lonely like most of us have, look at your child, the blessings he/she has brought into your life, get out take a walk, visit a true friend...but it's not worth the one night of "pleasure" and then the rest of your life with guilt...go back make a list of the things you liked about your boyfriend when you first met him, see if you can remember the happiness that you had...take the time that you spend on talking to the other person...spend it on him...now in both of your defense...he's working trying to provide for three people, which is a lot of responsiblity, put yourself in his shoes...but like I said in the first line...STOP TALKING TO HIM....

KosmoJoe's photo
Thu 12/20/07 09:04 AM
The only thing I cheat on is my diet...and a few too many beers.

peachiegirl28's photo
Thu 12/20/07 09:10 AM

The only thing I cheat on is my diet...and a few too many beers.



laugh laugh laugh laugh drinker drinker drinker drinker

KosmoJoe's photo
Thu 12/20/07 09:14 AM
I better shut up I'm not technically a Counselor anyways.
I just know when your on the train the caboose is always safer.
Wow, now I know what the Grateful Dead ment when they wrote that song " Casey Jones"...Far out!

peachiegirl28's photo
Thu 12/20/07 09:15 AM
rock on brothadrinker

no photo
Thu 12/20/07 09:16 AM
cheating in pretty much everything is bad (even school). I've cheated in school and in competitions but never on a spouse so I'm assuming it's much worse because it can ruin both your lives.