we get a lot of criticism for playing the field while being married. but when you find out your wife has been cheating for many many years what do you do? we've got a great family and she's been a good mom and grandmother. so to me, it's one of three possible solutions, divorce, which affects the whole family, her admitting it and doing the work it would take to correct her sexual addiction, which I have no control of, or me messing around which is the only thing that takes the pain away, at least for a while. I've promised myself to longer play the fool. is it wrong?

Getting even rarely pays off.

You better off divorcing her. Cheating on your spouse is no marriage at all.
Your wife is not a good role model to your kids. To me its disgusting

if she's messing around and you stay YOU're the fool whether you cheat or not as well. no two ways about it, you just are.

but, i suspect that you're just making a sympathy play for adultery; looking for people STUPID enough to buy such a line of crap.

either way you'd be a fool in thinking this would go well for anyone involved.

You are making a bad thing worse

Contact a lawyer and a doctor.
See what a divorce will cost in the immediate, short, and long term.
And get tested for potential STD's.
Possibly get DNA tests on any kids to see if they're really mine.


Attempting to maintain a facade, manipulating the opinion of others ("for the family/children!"), for the sake of selfish gratification?

Yes.

Now let's hear the other side of the story.

you're right, it all started when she thought I was cheating, but I never did, it was a "FRIEND" that convinced her for his own selfish reasons.

why would anyone want to stay with someone so distant, gullible, and dumb?


something seems askew...

Does your wife's divorce attorney know about this?

If you have more than two people in a marriage, that's one too many!

OP deactivated himself....wonder why?

Healing after a lifetime of illusion is a journey of awesomeness forgiveness and thankfulness . Its not without mixed emotions or even blind directions love and learn alongside with them again to remember that family and friends are forever

Good but the topic/subject is still pertinent for others.

Its the old story of 'she is cheating on me, why shouldn't I cheat on her'.
Or vice-versa.

Its a matter of morals and obligations as much as personal standards and honesty.
It tests one's integrity and their commitment to another.

Insist, in the future, nice wifes ask for permission.

I am going through this same thing. she left me though when I accused her

fight fire with fire...

find a playmate and the 4 of you can share a bed together and play with the fire...