My ex and I get along GREAT. The mediator that we went to for our divorce actually was shocked that we were getting a divorce. I got along really well with all 3 of her siblings....but the bottom line is, and this is just me, I would never spend the holiday with her or her family.....now my daughters birthday....different story...but Thanksgiving....no

The sad thing is this might be your life IF you end up with him. This is something that you might have to deal with IF you get with him. I just hope he is being honest with you about the ex. Sometimes people don't always tell the truth when they do invite the ex over for the holidays! I hope he is not hiding things from you...just like the password, if he changed it he should never give it to his son! Why would he even allow his son to have his password, that would just put his son in the middle of everything.
I don't know, I see nothing but red flags!

Just tell me am i being deliberatly obtuse and refusing to seeteh big picture.....he says he loves me and he doesn't know where she is coming from they have never tried nor does he want to get back together.....he said he will deal with it tomorrow and find out what the hell she is doing.........should i just back out of the picture and let him come to me

I totally agree...my ex and I spend birthdays together also. Even Fathers Day and Mothers Day...I guess we can do this for our boys. But as far as Thanksgiving or Christmas...I think that is FAMILY time, and he is not family anymore!!!

Red Flag's are-a-flyin!

You're young, way to young for this drama...

That's why I never
get involved with
someone who is separated
or still married.

I had a married woman
once want to have a
'fling' with me, but
I nixed it.

I knew the marital
difficulties they were
having and had too much
respect for the other
person to want to follow
through with something
like that.

that's why i'm not responding so far i don't want the drama.....I don't want to mess up my relationship and say hte hell because i received one nasty note alluding to something nor do i want to pretend there is not a potential issue............sad thing is i do love him and if i'm wrong what kind of idiot does that make me

It would just be very uncomfortable too. I mean, we're divorced.....spending time together period is over.....but holidays. I agree with unsure....red flags everwhere.

Would it be so bad for you to just take a step back? What do you think would happen IF you didn't call him at all? Do you think he would pick up the phone and call you?
Can I suggest that you just sit back and watch and see what happens if you don't call him? Find out if he does call her and see if he calls you tomorrow and tells you what happens. If he doesn't call you tomorrow..don't call him. See how many days it takes for him to call you!!!

Leave it alone! You do not need a paper trail for her to rope you or him into something. If, she has moved on it will tell if, she has not it will tell as well.

Don't allow this to shake what you have going with him but, surely do not email that account anymore. Some people don't want their ex but, they do not want anyone else to want them either.

As for the children, tread carefully, those are their children and when it is all said and done the kids are what matter the most.

Talk with him because you are seeing him. I hope everyoe can be adults for the sake of the kids because in todays world they need all the love and protection they can get.

Good luck

I already planned on doing that........I've already talked to him about it tonight..........I guess it's a waiting game now.....god i hate my f-ing life

You are a wise man....

I have to say that when you date someone that is seperated, you are getting involved with someone that still has a mess that is not cleaned up yet!! They still have unfinished business! This is why I also will not date someone who is seperated.
I believe that you should clean up one relationship before you should date someone else!! If not, you are going to end up hurting someone or getting someone involved into a big mess!
I think you should always wait till you hear those words...my divorce was finalized...then give then some healing time!!

Unsure is wise. Listen to her.

I understand getting along for the kids. I spent my boy's birthday on Friday with my ex, his current wife and their baby. We were supposed to do a candle together at Chanukah, but life got in the way.

We did not spend Thanksgiving together. It was the ex's year. I did stop over there in the afternoon bearing pie and stealing snuggles from my boy.

Iceprincess, I do hope it all works out and the ex to be is just being ugly. The only input I have is it wait to move out there until the divorce is finalized. Let us know what happens?

Hugs, M

Wise Woman

Ice sis!! don't even think about answering that e-mail
talk to him, and you'll see is nothing,,
you know that even tho they are getting a divorce and she has a b/f, there is always jealousy, specially if the kids like you
so yeaaaaa ignore it and talk to him,,,he will give you some clarity....don't let her do what she intended to do in the first place by emailing you.,,, fuk with you...

love ya girly!!!

Let's see i ignored her and i received a message this morning that we need to talk about our relationship

his son can't handle it right now and he feels he can't give me the time i deserve and like he doesn't have enough time for me.......but wait he loves me doesn't want to lose me and wants me in his life..........is this mixed messages or am i just a moron......i basically made it easy on him i told him i understand i don't expect anything from him and hey life moves on.......I knew i should have ran when i first wanted too

Something here is really wrong. It sounds like he is playing you and his ex.

Unsure has great advice. Your BF needs to clean up his mess. You should back off and tell him you will date him when he is ready to date YOU. He certainlly isn't ready yet. Good luck to you.

IcePrincess..Not only are the red flags going up but the sirens are awailing! I speak from experience when I say this. I once was in a position where the man was "separated" but hadn't yet filed for divorce. I eventually found out that his wife behaved just like nothing was going on ...because he was telling her one story and me another! He told me he loved me, etc too. There is too much anger in her tone of letter to you for her to be involved with someone else..... sounds like he hasn't been honest with either of you....and like someone said, you're about to step into a hornet's nest.....His withdrawing from you and using "excuses" at this point is another red flag! Sounds like he has misled you and has just got his hand caught in the cookie jar! Some people are skilled liars and deceivers. Your guy could be one of them.
Don't do anything until you see those divorce papers.... and keep an eye open. Something stinks here.

One more thing.....about her getting the password. If she went to that much trouble, she has a reason not to trust him. She was looking for something.....