That's a quote from someone who gives advice on finding a match. I'm of the mind that you need to bring out the best in each other. This is just how people are nowadays. Before people didn't see past their noses. Now it's they can't see past their eyebrows. You need to get past yourself to get anywheres.

So I'm pretty sure I'm not going to find anything more of use from those who give advice on finding who I'm looking for. There maybe some minor things that could be of substance to be had. I'm pretty sure if I do find that person we'll figure it out together. This time it's lucky 7 or 7 out 7. I hope for the best but expect the worst.

So, I'll recap and put down the info here for those who are interested in it. It's up to you on what you do with it.

I haven't been in any relationships in years. I moved in with my brother to look after him until he passed away some years back. I decided to go on dating sites think it'll be people who's in your area that you could meet-n-greet. Then after wasting time and money bouncing around on sites I start to think on what I'm really looking for. Since clearly after talking to hundreds I haven't.

KNOW YOURSELF
This is pretty old advice which is still one of the best. When it comes to finding someone you can get a good idea of who you're looking for by looking for comparable personalities in others. In the end you've only yourself to offer someone in exchange for their self.

Things you must consider are as follows.

1. Looks (what you find attractive physically)
2. Smarts (the person needs to be compatible with you mentally)
3. Personality (that other person's general demeanor and attitude must be appealing to you. we all have good and bad days. So don't confuse moods with this)
4. Belief/Philosophy ( religion and other viewpoints on how a person sees things and what matters to them must be compatible, the same and respected. You both have to have the core things that matter matter to both parties)
5. Politics/Social perception (These viewpoint must be the same or compatible as well.)

Other factors are subjective to each individual. The above are the major things that matter for all or at least most all. There's always a chance it could be different for a handful of people. I'm sure you'll be able to find someone to sceach in protest on this subject.

Uh, yeah, thanks for that, though I didn't read it all.

If a woman actually reads it all, you might find another with all those ingredients.

I didn't read it.

I read it, looks like you're putting a lot of thought into finding someone SpaceCodet. Those are all good things to consider for the long run. Perhaps a little too much thinking though for initially meeting someone?

Either way, it's good info, thanks for sharing it.

I'm glad I could help. I know most would probably not check out regular matchmakers and just go along with the standard stuff we all have been told. The whole, "You can make it work with anyone line". Of cause if that was the case none of us would be on this site for the most part.

There was other things I realized about myself. One such thing is that I prefer the gal I'm with to walk on my left side and hold my hand. May sound stupid but it was one of the reasons I stopped caring about someone I was with at the time. Small things like that add up. Also was with a socialist and I'm a centrist liberal with doesn't mix. Individual vs conformity.

I'm not going to think on it much more. Pretty sure I'm in a good place in myself and life to accomplish this quest. Hope it helps others as well. Of cause the work that needs to be done can only be accomplished by ourselves to figure out this riddle we each have.

I find expectations one of the hardest things to rectify in a relationship.

Its really difficult to just let someone be themselves.

Even when you try your hardest, its really easy to make allowances for someone you are dating that is being themselves but not being who you imagined them to be.

If you are constantly needing to forgive someone for being their own unique person are you really accepting them being themselves?

Each of us are alive with our own experiences which make us who we really are.
Why should we need to compromise who we are to have a meaningful relationship?

There is a big difference between broadening our horizons and meeting someone else's expectations.

If you need to change who you are to be with someone, are you not just living a lie? Isn't it better to find one person that accepts you for who you are?
Turn that around.
If you need to be accepted for who you are, why shouldn't you afford the same respect to someone else?

The trick is making the wise choice.

Well said Tom, I agree.

The more you learn and experience will allow you to make better choices for yourself. Living is doing. Self confidence will build over time by living.

You're talking about Wisdom and Confidence.
Experience gives you wisdom.
Wisdom gives you confidence.