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Topic: PPRS ~ Let's Go 'Bye Bye'
Tom4Uhere's photo
Wed 09/25/19 04:44 PM
Edited by Tom4Uhere on Wed 09/25/19 04:47 PM
The Let's Go 'Bye Bye' Pet Passive Restraint System

Components:

Adjustable harness up to 200 lbs.
Semi-elastic restraining strap
Release deflector

* Allows your pet freedom of movement up to a predetermined distance.
* Works with all common vehicle air bags
* Works with all seatbelts.
* Works with front or back seatbelts
* Works with truck beds and trailers.

Contents:
1 Adjustable pet harness
1 Retaining strap
1 Release deflector
1 Instruction sheet with easy to understand diagrams

Install the harness on your pet (up to 200 lbs) using the patented easy'latch system.
Install the restraining strap latched at the desired length.
Install the patented release deflector and
Go "Bye Bye"
Your pet is now protected by the same safety system in place for your own collision protection.

Basically, you install the harness on your pet (which can be used with any leash).
You attach the adjustable restraining strap to the harness looped around the existing seat belt and back onto itself (multiple connection points)
You place the deflector device on the seatbelt release that prevents your pet from accidentally releasing the belt and you are good to go.

The pet still has access to windows allowing for that slobber filled ecstasy your dog gets while going bye bye.
It keeps the pet away from your controls (when properly adjusted) and allows you a quick release in the event of an accident (if installed properly).
It adds to the protection offered by air bag systems (if properly adjusted)
It allows your pet a restricted freedom of movement.

With the truck bed adapter (sold separately) your pet is also protected from accidental discharge and strangulation.

Our operators are standing by for your call.
Call now and mention M2 and you get a whopping 12% off your order.

Your baby wants to go "bye bye".
Be safe, Love your pet!

no photo
Wed 09/25/19 04:46 PM
but wait there's more...

Tom4Uhere's photo
Wed 09/25/19 04:49 PM
Edited by Tom4Uhere on Wed 09/25/19 04:49 PM
Please Eric, Tell Us What We Get!!!

Mention Eric22T when you order to get these amazing offers only for you!

no photo
Wed 09/25/19 04:54 PM
well tom we have this incredible no spill no slobber water bowl that can be mounted in reach of your pprs harnessed pet

Tom4Uhere's photo
Wed 09/25/19 06:06 PM
Yes Folks, buy now to get your special "no spill slobber water bowl" with your next order!

Don't take our word for it, read some of the real testimonials from other satisfied PPRS owners:

"We have two American Eskimos. Gabby has a knack for jumping out the window at stops to chase bunnies. I had to put it in park, undo my own seat belt and chase her. If it was raining or muddy out, we returned all soaked and wet with that 'dog smell'. My wife would greet us and take a sniff and know Gabby chased another bunny. It was a shower for all of us and a detailed cleaning of the car everytime. Thanx to my PPRS, I no longer have this problem. Gabby remains inside the car and everything smells as it should.
Oh, Thank you PPRS!." ~ Billy Mucky from Andover, OH.

"Our two full-sized yellow labs love ice cream. Star is 150lbs and Tai is 120 lbs. When we go "Bye Bye fer Ice Cream" they run for the car. My Cavalier has untold riches of money in the driver side floorboards. Everytime we make it to Dairy Queen and I order the cones, I am besieged by licky faces. It happens so fast I drop my change and the cones in the tray are attacked by tongues. My babies never even give me a chance to put away the change let alone make sure each gets their own. Star, always gets the most while Tia waits for her to get brain freeze. After the ice cream is gone, Star thinks she needs to drive home and I can tell you, its difficult to drive anywhere with a 150lb dog on your lap. I ordered two PPRS and suddenly, I am so much richer. Plus, I find it is easier to drive home. I love my PPRS systems!"
-Ted Hildergomez from Hotoga, MI.

"I have an ankle-biter Welsh Corgi. Otis loves hanging his tongue out the window. We had an accident when I hit a tree on a snowy day. Thanx to my PPRS system, Otis is still with me. The PPRS system worked flawlessly in the accident. I don't know what I would do if I lost my Otis." - Michelle Stormsby of Maryland Falls, IN.

"I purchased the PPRS system for my cat, Trouble. Trouble loves going 'Bye Bye' but can't stay still. Trouble doesn't do well in carriers. He likes being free to roam around the car. My new PPRS fit Trouble perfectly. I adjusted his strap to allow him enough freedom of movement to make him feel comfortable and after a bit, he was fine with it. I love how my PPRS makes me feel about my cat. Thank you PPRS for this feeling!"
Penny Hobart from Goonygoogoo TN.

PPRS, Be a Responsible Pet Owner!

no photo
Wed 09/25/19 06:12 PM
and if you order now we will included the two part ice cream cone a adapter dispenser which attaches simply and easily to the no slobber bowl!!!!
but wait there's more...

Tom4Uhere's photo
Wed 09/25/19 06:40 PM
Thanx Eric!

Plus, with the next 1261 orders we include, Free Of Charge!
Your choice of Bumper Stickers:

PPRS: Because Pet Lives Matter 2*

PPRS: Another RESPONSIBLE Pet Owner

PPRS: There Is No Other Choice!

PPRS: Pets Are People TOO!*

*Limited Quantities

no photo
Wed 09/25/19 06:43 PM
just 3 easy payments plus a modest shipping and handling fee

payable tom at...

Tom4Uhere's photo
Wed 09/25/19 07:06 PM
Edited by Tom4Uhere on Wed 09/25/19 07:08 PM
...this just in...
Thanx to our incredible staff at PPRS and a major break-thru in translation we bring you a first hand accounting of our PPRS in action.

Sadie a Great Pyrenees that recently survived a head-on collision has this to say:

"Sadie, can you tell us about your recent ordeal?"
"Woof"
(Yes Tom, it was awfully scary)
"Woof Woof"
(Had it not been for my owner's dedication to my safey I would not be able to lick my balls today)
"But Sadie is a girl's name?"
"Woof Howl Grunt Growl"
(Hey, I didn't name me my owner did, what of it?)
"Okay, no worries"
"Can you tell us what happened?"
"Woof, woof woof woof howl yelp woof howl yelp yelp yelp"
(Back in 09 my owner went into the ditch, my collar nearly strangled me when it happened. When we had our recent accident and I was fitted with the new PPRS my loving owner decided to buy, I felt no such sensation and though I did pee my fur, I am fine)

Okay!
There you have it folks, a first hand accounting of our PPRS system in action.
If you really, truly love your pet,
Don't go Bye Bye without it!


Tom4Uhere's photo
Wed 09/25/19 07:17 PM
DISCLAIMER

The PPRS System is not intended for use on Wives or Small Children.

no photo
Wed 09/25/19 07:22 PM
well thats no help tomgrumble

motowndowntown's photo
Wed 09/25/19 07:39 PM
I tap the brakes a couple times. After hitting his noggin on the dash a few times the dog learns, (if he's smart), to lay on the floor ,AND STAY THERE.

JustBeHonest's photo
Wed 09/25/19 07:41 PM



Wait, I purchased your system for my child! Can I sue you if he gets hurt?

Tom4Uhere's photo
Wed 09/25/19 07:53 PM
Edited by Tom4Uhere on Wed 09/25/19 07:54 PM

Wait, I purchased your system for my child! Can I sue you if he gets hurt?

I'm sorry for your pain but each system comes with an instruction sheet which clearly states:
DISCLAIMER

The PPRS System is not intended for use on Wives or Small Children.

But we at PPRS understand the human malfunction and if you return the item without wear or damage you are entitled to a prompt apology in writing as long as you sign the accompanied NDA.
Your payment will be applied to the stupid human fund which benefits mice abused by cats.
If you wish to contribute an extra dollar to this fund, please check the box on the reply correspondence card.
Thank you for being gullible.


JustBeHonest's photo
Wed 09/25/19 07:57 PM


Wait, I purchased your system for my child! Can I sue you if he gets hurt?

I'm sorry for your pain but each system comes with an instruction sheet which clearly states:
DISCLAIMER

The PPRS System is not intended for use on Wives or Small Children.

But we at PPRS understand the human malfunction and if you return the item without wear or damage you are entitled to a prompt apology in writing as long as you sign the accompanied NDA.
Your payment will be applied to the stupid human fund which benefits mice abused by cats.
If you wish to contribute an extra dollar to this fund, please check the box on the reply correspondence card.
Thank you for being gullible.






BUT WAIT, it was a large child. See you in court.noway

Tom4Uhere's photo
Wed 09/25/19 08:17 PM

I tap the brakes a couple times. After hitting his noggin on the dash a few times the dog learns, (if he's smart), to lay on the floor ,AND STAY THERE.

You may be interested in our limited time offer of our Auto-Tap Braking Adaptor.
Once installed it automatically taps the brakes to teach your dog its lesson while you are free to text and drive as usual.
#Some Assembly Required

Tom4Uhere's photo
Wed 09/25/19 08:26 PM
BUT WAIT, it was a large child. See you in court.noway

Again, I am sorry for your pain.

Are you sure you purchased a genuine PPRS product?
ALWAYS PURCHASE GENUINE PPRS PRODUCTS
You can tell by looking at the original packaging.
On the lower left corner of the packaging you should see a MIUAYG (Make IT Up As You Go) Authentication Code that isn't there.
Please bring the code and proof of purchase.
Proof of purchase must have an authenticated MIUAYG code, The nearest tree with a real bird's nest (photo proof will do) to your residence, the age of the tree closest to it and a notorized accounting of any drainage issues near the foundation of the home of the nearest iron worker.
Our lawyers are extremely precise and well-paid.
Are you sure you wish to proceed?

JustBeHonest's photo
Wed 09/25/19 08:32 PM



Of course I want to proceed. I got all that there stuff you're talking about.

Gonna get me a genuine redneck lawyer like Joe Pesci in that movie.


I'm gonna be rich.

Tom4Uhere's photo
Wed 09/25/19 09:47 PM
Okay, we are sending a representative to process your claim ASAP.
He is walking from Ushula,Argentina.
We have already gained a continuance for his travel time.

In the mean time, here is a letter from out CEO Tom4Uhere.

September 25, 2019
From: Tom4Uhere CEODEPHIDPMNOPQRS.215910
To: JustBeHonest
RE: Action 52.77948017

Dear JustBeHonest,
We are sorry your child is too fat for our PPRS system.
However, Our PPRS system was never intended for Human applications.
Still, we feel your pain.
Hang on (was it MNOPQRS or was it NNOPQRS?...never mind, it was MN I got confused, sorry bout that)
So anyway, yer fat kid is too big for the PPRS system.
Perhaps too many Big Macs?

The intended use of PPRS was always for pets.
Your choice to use it oon your large child is not the fault of PPRS but on your own inability to maintain your hildren in optimal health.

I;m sorry your child is overweight but you have nobody to blame but yourself.
Besides the fact that only someone lacking in parental skills would choose the PPRS to do what you have failed to do as a parent.

While I am perfectly willing to work with you on this, if you continue, it may not be conducive to your image.

I have a suitcase with $100 bills taped to the seams that make it look full.
I can give such suitcase to you or I could walk into the courtroom with it and let the judge gaze upon it. How do you think that will go.

Again, I am sorry your child is too fat for a PPRS designed for pet protection. If $400 is your idea of getting rich, here is the suitcase.
If not, well, I guess we'll see you in court.

Sincerely,
Tom4Uhere CEODEPHIDPMNOPQRS.215910 (hang on are you sure its MN and not NN, I coulda sworn it was NN, whatever...This isn't over, I know it was NN how come you change it? Whatthehellis wrong with you? You can't just change it because you mistyped it, c'mon this is getting stupid, stop it!)

Tom4Uhere's photo
Wed 09/25/19 09:58 PM
Edited by Tom4Uhere on Wed 09/25/19 09:59 PM
PPRS is proud to announce yet another attachment for your convience!

The ORAL/Annal Tube

Some chick decided to sue us because she used the PPRS on her fat kid.
Yeah, I know, don't get me started...

Anyway, this new attachment connects the oral passge to the annal passage and it sports the new Big Mac ingestion prevention device.

It available now for any parent incapebale of making sound decisions concerning their children.
It has absolutely nothing to do with your pet.
But see, we at PPRS care about ALL our customers.
We work hard to accomodate all your insane demands.
Stay tuned for more....

PPRS: Don't go Bye Bye without it!

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