My response to being real?

Time and time again we as a community are deactivated that no matter how little or in-between we are obvious who we are and who we are is not accepted and being real or fake we can prove it a thousand times and each time leaves one to question our own beliefs... in being real would one question their morality cause real people can sometimes not have a conscious and make bad choices to hurt the other... to be a real genuine person you must make this further effort to a better society and it creates a world of self acceptance and in being us makes us real and better people... to be true is to keep pushing further into the dephs of our own heart and knowing right from wrong? Who I am is little to wonder if I'm amazing or another phoney that got hooked up in this world of players to hurt the other person... Who I am matters cause I keep myself together through no other power than the will of my own heart and sorrows...

I think a lot of each time leaves me guessing
Who really amongst us has done no wrong
I can finally say that all of us have this perfect life
And that we're so blinded by what the other has we ignore our own strengths
Calling them weak when they find acceptance and bringing further information into our own notions of wrong or falsehoods
We are but one dream
And that dream is to build our own thoughts into what is right for us and only us
We can keep blaming each other or we can simply live our own lives
Not tear each other down but build up on who the other person is to strengthen them
Even constructive criticism can destroy a man's goals and ambitions
This so called simple life only idiots truly call it easy going
While a man of great intelligence has faced the deepest mind's plague's
Einstein himself had aspberhgers and his son couldn't take it dealing with schizophrenia
Who's to say all of us isn't a lil mad deep in the inner most root of our minds
The invention of electricity is truly a marvelous thing
Deep down knowing some great pawn artist sold out and stole every idea who's was not his
90 percent of everything he made was someone else idea
That the true greatest inventor the reason you have a computer or anything electronic began 100 years ago with a man named Nicolai Tesla suffering with Autism
Yet these people aren't thought of as smart cause no one knows their true label... geniouses…

Open up your eyes and see
What this planet did for me
I tried to turn it into sand
A king of evil ruled the land
Across the desert across an ocean of armies fighting by boat to die
Crisscrossed by jets bombers to rule the sky
A misssles on lockdown so far from key
What could be left but destruction for eternity
Across from the whip so full of slaves
No longer a hero just a soldier's grave
No honor in combat
Off the boat you die
You never saw it coming
To mommma you ask why
Across from the ocean noted at heart
We fight each other brothers torn apart
That no longer do we see what we have done
A bomb creates a pyre just for fun
The bodies turn empty just like clay
They pay for a soldiers life with pay
No longer can he spend what he had to endure
Suffering from PTSD yes it's cruel
A hero done wrong for the planet's wrong
You lead your nation carry on
No longer an eagle fighting wars at sea
Tied to a wheelchair just let it be
Forgotten and empty the voices turn into decay
This is the man you made me empty and decay
Purple heart to pay my tears
The screams of my friends will haunt my dreams on years
No longer a country man torn apart
This battle's done empty no one but no one knows you for what you've done
And at 20 you're given a gun
That weapons a tool we built for war
The same as a sword except you'd only sever an arm
Killed by a missle far away
Are you waiting for destruction...

It's not worth trying to be afraid I can live again tomorrow
But I only have so much time left in today to tell you I love you
Through thick and thin things may change the way I feel
But without you the fights never had meaning the things we regret were never made up for
Just empty words placed in my head wishing you were there against the waves of the beach
As I walk a lonely mile down this dusty road always gazing to the sky
Somewhere out there far above... is love
And everything I have ever wanted in life I see in you
I forgive you for hurting me I forgive you for making up lies
I forgive the fact I can't stop myself from melting in your face and keep you in my heart for years
You're like the ghost that never vanishes away and without you I wonder my own sorrows
Am I too inflicted to walk this land earth to earth absorbing into the ocean to lay far below in silence just only if only... my angel would call to me and lift my spirits anew
I'd break free from this well and continue to live my life freely in your arms for a thousand years day by day till all eternity...
But time has no meaning to those in love and each day is just what tdo we do next with our lives?
Our life... yours and mine... and the future we build for eachother is a castle in the sands... that opens up a kingdom with ruby thrones and a courtyard of jesters at play
to lie in silence as I wait further on for you to sing to me... like broken winged birds that have nursed their call and the following steps of our hearts...
Linger on for eternity....

Hey you
I got you turning around, now
While you're smiling at my doorsteps
Away from the door you keep looking back...
And i'm taking you away
You keep shining like a rainbow making me out of breath
The first time I met you I couldn't remember my own words
I smile when I'm sad
Cause you pick me up and take away my pain
You keep glowing in the shadows
Holding onto the fog
You keep looking for love
It's taking you away
Our first kiss
I couldn't remember my own way
We laid together under the night sky
The frogs with the cosmos kept singing
Would I smile if you're sad
Would my words just come out wrong
I'm not trying to upset you
I Just think you keep me happy anyway...

A journal worth recalling later and well written

Grace~ do you get the same type of things from dudes are women subjugated to such victimization? That these random people will just pose as a person some of them obvious some of them like damn she seemed so real? I have a friend on here who as much as I try I worry about her she makes me feel safe and scared at the ssme time :o I don't want to see her get hurt I'm tired of her being deactivated such as I am... that people like me and her are thought of as fake for whatever reason maybe even personal users bad reviews maybe I crossed a line somewhere I only know I started to like myself cause of her and she saved me and I want to save her too...

But in response to your query I pile em on I spit these things out like candy not to sound overly cocky about it... I have became a poet since around 24-25 after a group of people hurt me the sorrow left me broken and I turned to my words to draw inspiration snd to replace the pain and anger chsnneling it into something positive :)

Women Stay away from me
Men don't mske me throw you through s window
You keep playing your little games
I'll keep showing you the door
The more I think upon this I want it even more
I have listetened to s million words
Heard a thousand or so such the same old lies
At this rate I could retire from a professional phychologist giving you advice
You keep telling me you hurt me hahahhah
The truth of the fact I kick my own *** harder you hit worse than your girls
You ought to put your woman up
Tell her it just ain't the same this guys is freaking nuts
The fact you could probably kick my *** if you only had the guts
So you can call me mr crazy
I have never shed a tear
The fact you care at all I might go back to beer
Listened to you yes it's true you're scared it's a simple fact n all
I'm just bored as hell I would not make that call
Cause no matter how bad you hurt me I'll run into another ditzy confused girl you use as bait
I play your games it's already too late

No really man in all honesty I do not care... you really want to hurt me tell me why you don't bother to listen maybe you're scared hurt sad want to hurt another human being that cares... I've lived my life it's all the same... grow a brain and maybe some balls maybe your woman would actually make you feel like a man? Stop trying to pretend you're not crazy yourself we see past that crap.... She's got a heart of gold if you'd stop using her it's a damn shame you keep messaging me on different accounts telling me all this shensnigans how'm I supposed to feel... Afraid? Sad... Brother you have a choice here... do not think it matters cause you're as common as grass... a dozen losers like yourself man not even close real life street life on the school parking lott wherever there's guys like yourself there's as little lost kid inside that tiny brain you call a rational thought... so keep hurting me sending me anything you can dish out... I might get upset lose my temper you're wasting your own time and life with these games killing your free time.... or you could do what I do... enjoy the show? I can always log off?

I have made mistakes keep carrying listening to the whispers of tomorrow's song
I dream of land so far away
Voices turn into clouds of yesterday
Inside my heart, a lonely tear
reflecting tomorrow or another year
Each side of us cries the long last fate
Where I'm dreaming of you tomorrow it is not too late
I have held my pride I tried to take your hand
Dreaming of you all across this land
Each time I seek another falls
Keep this game on up is if tomorrow calls
You can keep on drifting on away
Telling me tomorrow it all emties into a thought of another
If I cry I stand
Alone as man
I can never keep thinking I am wrong or mad
A soldier boy
Long of fate
Keep dreaming of tomorrow not yesterday
All of us keep dreaming on a tear
Wasting tomorrow of yesterday's fears
I can only forgive what I was
Do you even remember if I mattered, cause
And no matter what I believe alone as man
Keep dreaming of you all across this land
And each time I say I love to another girl
I'm just simply wishing you were right infront of me to hear these words while I'm dreaming far away
Do you even remember the things I say
I can only shed a tear
Not be sad for what I am
I stand because I'm happy
I stand for all I've stood
Dreaming keep on dreaming that each of us can call
Inside my heart an endless gaze
Forgive me for yesterday cause it has no plan
If I fall atleast I tried
I can keep dreaming of tomororow as long as I cried
But if I stand and hold my heart
You were right there always right from the start...
I'm just likely to cross your path
Because in the end all we have is each other as long as it will last....

Being happy doesn't have to make you complete
You ain't got to smile
You ain't got to frown
Just keep searching around till you found it
If you keep searching you keep knowing learning new things
Following new ways to better yourself
As long as you're content
What's to regret
Just like life you can make mistakes
It's an endless choice
A voice of reason
Always reflecting who we are
Into another
We can carry on and keep whispering or just love ourselves
Because that's all we truly got is ourselves to make us happy
No one else can do it for you
To find this other source of reason you're seeking
You simply have to accept yourself... no matter how cold the world has left you...

It took me awhile but I did figure out your plan tbh have fun with it and all that your boyfriend black and all that messaged me behind the painting of a famous rascist white dude I found the whole thing kinda weird tbh but to each their own it was a different time period what was acceptable back then is not now... You drove me nuts while pretending to be my friend not the first time for that in all honesty any dude that doesn't read your profile must be some kind of idiot like myself to see who you actually are...

I will warn you back off... it does not end well for you... and they do eventually see you for you... takes them like a week and they've known you for years... like I told him I take an whooping but keep on ticking you have a choice here you can keep up the games or I can start revealing each layer of your identity...

Lost in fog like dewy gaze
A sailors song is heard
High above the deepest clouds are we forced to love
I think so high I could sing and carry on with the wind
A thoughtless cloud and endless pool and all the things it brings
I see inside myself a journey must be quite a site
I see angels of mercy asking me not to cry
It's hard sometimes to never know
What's wrong with the wind
Then again as each of us know it's all that matters in the end
I seek... angels where mercy crosses why
Cloudless dusts of inner pool reflecting on the sky
No matter how you life has been a sword to cross your grave
In the end all of us know we only accept the brave...

Regardless of which path you have chosen to act upon... i'm not upset not the least... in fact no child-like retaliation karma is going to judge you and I have spoken my piece...

Day turns into night
What is right
What is wrong
Can we keep carrying on
A long hard winter
Left in the cold
Only by accepting ourselves
Do we mould
Becoming new people like kids at play
Wonder if we should do this everyday
A fool on the hill so deeply run
Regardless of how foolish a fool is one
I forgive those that hurt me great and small
Players full of themselves don't matter at all

Hi FD.
you're sailing a tempestuous sea. maybe you need to find a calm harbor and rest for a time, find stillness and calm. Repair the rigging, re caulk the planks,
repair the tattered sails, secure the main mast, splice the main brace and all that sort of thing.
I wouldn't want to see you come to grief on the rocks m8.
Take time to find your stillness.
Sounds corny hu? But you need to do this.

Well put Steve... I agree!

Final Dreamz... we all have a choice what energy we want to feed. I would think you of most people knows and understands how feeding the kind of energy you've been feeding of late only aids in helping that energy grow in the Universe.

Perhaps take Steve's suggestion and find a calm harbor to rest for a bit.

Yes, life's too short to be angry at anyone any given reason can't say I made the best decisions can't say I wasn't used either... regardless I'm going to take further time off...

Started a new book to work upon get some work flowing in just tired... thanks for understanding without making me into a total nutcase... :)

You're welcome FD. :) Good luck with the book.