Men in the Military seem to know more about Real life.

Those who have served and those who are now serving.
Knowledge comes from experience.

I should have chose a Military man.

hey

Hey

IDK, I have a lot of friends that have been in and are in the military. They don't seem to know any more than anyone else.

There are always a few exceptions .

I come from a military family WWI -- WWII -- Korea --- Vietnam.
I think they know more about making correct decisions in split-second time. See more foreign countries, even if dangerous. Often appreciate their families more than non-military. There's lots of plus items, but it does depend on the individual.

I had military experience.
I found responsibility, integrity and how to be deadly.
Some of which has been beneficial at different time in my life.
The thing is, it was the 25 year marriage and raising 4 children that made me the man I am now.
My military service never prepared me for a child with projectile vomiting or the issues of a teenager that thinks they are in love.

I think that experience is the best measure of a man and military service has little to do with the end result.
At my age, experience is always the best teacher.

What has serving the army to do with life experience? I never did, but thanks to my job, I still have plenty of live experience. JS

Mmm. Well, from what I've seen, I think it would be most accurate to say a few things.

One, that a persons experiences do very much shape what they are capable of being aware of, and what they are likely to be prepared to deal with.

Our experiences also do something many people don't readily recognize: even as they shape what we CAN be aware of, they can also prevent us from perceiving or believing in all sorts of things, at the same time.

Some disciplines can result directly in misperceptions of people, in comparative ways. For example, most military people are directly trained to behave decisively. That's regardless of whether or not they are actually personally certain of everything they are reacting to or not. This is due to the inherent danger their occupation has to deal with.

Historians, by comparison, are taught to do the opposite. When an historian makes an instant choice, they are seen to be jumping to unsupported conclusions, before taking in all pertinent information.

Someone who is looking for decisiveness, will therefore often tend to think badly of historians, and think very positively of military trained and experienced people, even though objectively, both are doing what they do, entirely for the best.

One caution related to this, to keep in mind, is that whether someone behaves confidently and forthrightly, or behaves cautiously and carefully, has NOTHING AT ALL to do with whether or not they will turn out to have been correct.

My Dad use to say, experience is the best teacher.

I do believe that the Military prepared you to make a commitment and to stick to it in reference of getting married and Starting your family.

Men are immature at 50 if they never been married. They haven't experience in that area. They maybe have had Many women but it's not the same .

I've met divorced men, at least they know what marriage is.
Maybe they had a Bad one, but they are more enlighten.

IMO

Some Divorced men are Mean and Nasty . Because maybe they been Hurt.

Yet they are seeking a woman for a relationship.

with that attitude they should stay Single.

If the man doesn't have PTSD he would be a good partner.

I had met in person a retired Marine he was nice man. had good retirement
But he had emotional problems he told me about.

I know what I can deal with and what I cannot. I don't live in a Fancy like some Women.

hii i m intrested in u

hello iam Ron Smith and i am from des moines iowa and i would love us to get to know more about each other i am a nice gentle and caring man

Hello to all the New guys posting !

I agree, although there's likely still personal variances.
Not because they know to make a commitment per say, as a matter of fact they might enter that engagement and learn they don't like it, yet be stuck with it for X number of years.
You have to move from one base to the next.
At some point you get deployed so the country gets something back for their investment in you.
So if they're ideal partners, not so sure about that. You have to move with them or be separated for longer time when they're off to another base. Meaning you constantly have to uproot your life: work & friends. Not easy!
Same for creating a home and home-life. You constantly have to leave it behind. Living at the base is an option, but not particularly appealing. THe area with houses look like a ghetto. Boring as hell. You're not allowed to have higher fencing, so no privacy.

My daughter's ex was in the military. It wasn't easy on her. They moved 3 times in the short time they were together.
Then he was deployed, and she was on her own for 9 months. Not easy.

As for the one in the military, I do think it broadens their mind, what they see and experience abroad. But maybe at the same time it can also rouse ill feelings against Muslims? Not sure, depends on what they go through, which depends on what their function is.
Many come back with PTSD if they've seen battle. Also not really wonderful in a partner.
And, again depending what they do/did in the military, there's stuff they can never share with you. As a partner you must be able to deal with that.

And then there's the fact they're not in their heart space. It's not really possible. You cannot be tapped into your heart and feelings, be very sensitive and intuitive, have a 'coaching mindset' and be in the military.
You have to grow real tough skin otherwise you don't make it. You get knocked and humiliated, and that's not even SERE, but normal daily stuff in the military.

So to say, I should've chosen someone in the military... not my cup of tea!

Active military, retired military and discharged military are very different things.
Active military is VERY hard on the family, especially the spouses. Not only are they going thru a separation the are trying to maintain a relationship over long distance with the ever present threat that the one they love and miss could be killed at any moment.

Retired military doesn't have the threats and separation but it does have the conditioning of what is called military bearing. Military bearing is the conditioning that RULES are in place and ALWAYS maintained. Chances are, you will be expected to follow whatever rules your mate is accustomed to.

Discharged military is the bulk of the service members that are no longer active. These are people that had military bearing but have or are adapting once again to civilian lifestyles. They are trained, probably professional and usually have a high degree of self-pride. Some can be seriously narcissistic.
Depending on the service they had, many could have PTSD or worse mental issues but a majority of them are just regular people trained for a job that includes killing people.

I do know that when my boys asked me about joining the military I supported the idea because it builds responsibility. It also builds stamina and conviction to reaching their goals. It also can cause narcissism and diminished empathy for others (able to kill at a command).

While seeking a military experienced mate can be a good thing, it could also be a living nightmare if you choose poorly. Just like any other life choice.
My advice is to go for it but never dismiss your red flags.

Hi