On dating sites and over age 50.

Who gets rejected more older men or older women ?

Why do you think ?

Online is difficult to meet relationship minded people. IMO

Dating is not a serious relationship.

I personally think older women get rejected more..
Because they aren't cute/ young/ pretty...

Younger women (under 40) get WAY more messages then us pushing 60...
(Not really interested in your opinionating, I can provide links and research statistics)
We older women are known as the invisibles..

Guys are not thought of, as a *group*, as unattractive as they get grey hair, wrinkles, maybe a bit paunchy...they're called "distingusished"..
Women are said to have "let themselves go"...

I'm sure there are guys who will say *they* are rejected more...

But..from my personal experivnce, and the experiences of a couple of the ladies (60+) in my Trivia group....we're not having much luck...we get less messages and so forth.

Edited to add:
I am also in a dating "support" group of sorts on Facebook..where men and women of various ages come to commiserate, and share horror stories..
The concensus *there* is older women are mostly ignored on the sites..

It depends on how you define "rejected."

I suspect that a lot of us on both side feel rejected far more often than we are actually directly rejected.

I'm not saying that's a bad thing. It's a real thing, though.

Every profile that lists things we know we can't provide, is a rejection of us, after all.

On dating sites and over age 50.

Who gets rejected more older men or older women ?
It depends on how you define "rejected."
I define rejected as being spurned once an intent of acceptance has been expressed and acknowledged.
Dismissing someomne without ever contacting them is not a rejection, its a decision.
A rejection is like;
"Hi, want to meet for coffee to get to know each other better?"
"No, go away, I don't like you"
That, is rejection.
I believe older women are 'rejected' more than older men.

Why do you think ?
Mainly because older women seem to be less open to new things than older men.
Most older men, have mid-life crisis where they try to go do all those things that make them feel young again. A woman hits menopause and that can be a sombering blow to their ego and if they can't adapt to the changes their bodies go thru it can seriously compromise their sense of carefree abandonment. They tend to be more reserved.

Online is difficult to meet relationship minded people. IMO
In my opinion, online is difficult to meet anyone in a real-world sense for any reason. People tend to create personas and have trouble agreeing to the possibility of exposing those personas via a face to face meet.

Dating is not a serious relationship.
Again, my opinion is that I reject anyone that thinks like that.
As far as I'm concerned, dating is meant to form a relationship with someone.
Why would I date someone that doesn't seriously want to date me?
Why should I even waste my time?

Have to disagree with you there.
Wanting to do foolhardy and dangerous things never was my style.
If someone wants to do things that are dangerous or foolhadry to feel young again..that is a problem with them, not me..

I feel young, and don't need to engage in risk-taking behaviour.
And I love to try different things...

I can say this.
Apparently some guys think a woman had no life before he came along..
One guy got an attitude because he suggested going to Mammoth Cave.
I declined, saying I have done every tour they had, and some twice already.
Then he suggested Biltmore (different city, same conversation)..
Said I have already been there too...3 times.
I can't think of the other two righht off the bat, but, been there, done those multiple times too.

He was like well damn....guess you've had a more fun life than I have had..
And blocked me.

Oh well.

Heck, *had* he not gotten an attitude..*I* would have suggested the Smithsonian, or any number of other cool, interesting places I have never been.
Like i said..."different"...
Just not really interested in going someplace I have already been to many times.

Edited to add:
I remember now..it was the Shiloh National Military Park.
Been there on a field trip while in school, and with my late husband and some friends...
That was one of the other places he'd suggested that I'd already seen twice.

Hadn't been to Gettysburg...would lke to do that..would have suggested it, had he not blocked me....LOL

@Tom
I appreciate your response! I do want to say, people date all the time, without any real relationship in mind. Dating sites are big on hookups. Which many are into. I realize there are exceptions such as yourself. However, there are very few. IMO

@bluegrass

Many men are seeking a fun-time and vacation road trips . Meeting a woman for developing a relationship is rare online.

Dating is a way to get to know a man, but most just want to date. No commitment in the plans.

I do believe sites that are geared for relationships work better than Free sites.
All my dates came from Paid date sites.

Yeah, I was responding with 'what I think' and I am wrong quite a bit when it comes to understanding anything about women or other men basically.
Its just been my own experience so had I met you, I probably would have had a different response.
Frankly, I'm still amazed that you have had the experiences you relate. You must meet some real lowlife men?


Again, those are my own opinions based on the OP.
I know there are many people doing many things for reasons I have no clue about.
The only person I have any authority to make comments for is myself.

I do know, and have met, women that treat dating like it is a game.
Personally, I decline.

To me, even choosing to accompany someone in an activity requires some bit of dedication to the relationship. Otherwise, they would just go do whatever with someone else. The fact that they chose me to do it with, shows a dedication to being in my company.

Tom4Uhere..

No, I haven't *met* any "lowlife men"....just talked to quite a few on the various dating sites.

Most never make it past a day or two of online chat..
It almost seems like two different people chatting..they start out well, complete sentences, intersting banter, then suddenly devolves into 2-3 word replies, and textese..

The two I have made it to actual phone conversation with in the past 6 months both ruined it in the first conversation.
One guy got all demanding and pushy...the other one made with crude inuendos.

I don't get it....you'd THINK people would be on their best behaviour inititally...

I have high standards.
Like I said, i have known two very good men long term (late husband 12 years, man before him, 8 years), so I know what good men act like, and, so far...I have not run across any on any of the dating sites..

Okay men, they ARE paying attention.

Seriously, I think you are rightly declining and you should have high standards.
It must get depressing when so many potentials turn out to be turds when you flip them over.

Good men (and women) are out there, its just really tough to wade thru the muck to find them.

Here's hoping your hip-boots are sealed.

There is a big difference between foolhardy and dangerous!!! Doing a Halloween parade in costume might be foolhardy but not dangerous; skiing in the Alps or mountain climbing is dangerous!

For me, the real issue is with the relationship expectations some women have. Meeting, dating, whatever you want to call it, is not about a relationship - it is about an enjoyable social outing. When your primary goal is finding and building your relationship, I'm going to be gone!!!!! If those social outings lead to a real, long term friendship that is fine. The problem is in the definition. When what you want and what I want in a relationship are different, we are both going to be disappointed!!

There's truth in that


The thing I try to remember is that building a meaningful relationship with someone doesn't have to be ... not fun.

What I do find is that the older women seem to take things with much more meaning than they actually have.
They do things expecting more meaning than it actually has.

Usually, I stop them and tell them to just see it for what it is.
Then we can laugh about it. Or Not.

But see, I don't pretend to be anything I am not.
I'm not going to bow to any expectations unless I am already willing to bend over.

The woman I am seeing now, tried to play those mind games on me when we first met.
I politely stopped her and told her to let it develop as it does naturally and we have been golden since.
We have a ball together, because we are both fun people.

If something bothers me, I stop and say Hey, Wait a minute!
I expect her to do the same.
We have that understanding and don't put much into the stops.
We tend to concentrate on the things we enjoy about each other instead of trying to make the other someone they are not.

I have an activity parnter, we don't date. He approached me at my work.
He's a nice man, single and active. I am seeking another for a Relationship.
My friend doesn't go Online to date.

Dating is not that important to me. I get that !! So my meets are dates.

Tom4Uhere..

THAT is why communciation is the key/ so important.

If a person can't communicate clearly what they expect, or what they are doing (just hanging out, nothing serious) to the other person involved, that's where misunderstanding ad possibly hurt feelings come in.
(both ways..I have had guys think something was more serious than it was)

Then insulting someone because they didn't have a clear understnding of things by telling them they "should have known" or "I thought you knew"...is wrong.
Be straight up with people...
Don't expect someone to read your mind, or take a hint...just be staight up....less problems down the road that way.

Then, threy have the choice/ option to continue, or not..depending on what *they* want.

However, since I have found very few guys on any of the sites can communicate effectively, the fact that there are so many minsunderstanding between men and woemn as to what they are looking for/ expections doesn't surprise me..

I see things a bit differently on this.
I see ignorance as a temporary condition as long as I am willing to recitify it and they are willing to learn.
Granted, there needs to be a certain degree of aptitude when interacting online. So I agree but then I give considerations to effort and learning.


This is a character flaw that stops me in my tracks and I abandon that person as not viable. I don't take offense because its not my character flaw, its theirs and I'm just plain not interested in them anymore.

The truth is, most people online display their nature and by knowing what I do and don't desire in a personality helps me find potentials that are more in alignment with me.

How you express yourself is not as important to me as the self you display.
If you are only slightly literate but able to sincerely communicate (even if in a limited way) I will not dismiss you.
Be rude, crude or hostile when I ask for clarification is immediate dismissal and I'm not interested at all.

I find that most women online have difficulty expressing themselves.
I find that many of them get hostile or give up when I ask to say it a different way.
The woman I am currently with, had no issue with rewording so I could get a better idea of what she was saying. Once we met, face-to-face, we interact fine.
Had she gotten rude in her replies, I certainly wouldn't have agreed to meet her.

Here's an example of what i was refering to..

I was talking to a guy on the "fishing" site..we wer goimng well, he was replying with actual replies that shpwed interest, etc..
Until.
He'd mentioned something about his military career..and I asked him about it...he did go into some detail..and ended by saying "Its long and convoluted. It would require Geo-Political context. But it was through our State Department."

Then..he abruptly quit replying..
Whereas prior to this for 2 days he was all rapid-fire, witty...replying right away..

So, I sent him a message, asking:
"Really mystifed why i have heard back from you yet..
You started out very chatty, then just dried up... :-("

His reply?

"If you don't know why then I can't help you."

Dude, i am not a mind reader, I have no clue what you mean..
I asked him to clarify....he blocked me.

Alrighty then...

If someone is dismissive without explanation (or purposely obtuse) , then that doesn't bode well for the relationship..

Bullet dodged, probablty..

Obviously you didn't get the message he was giving you. He could have been a little clearer but obviously didn't want further discussion on that particular topic. Could have been several reasons for that!

Online men are good for Blocking Women. Of course, women Block men too.
Communication doesn't go well most times because, many men don't like Emailing. They like talking on the Phone, then meeting up ASAP.

In my experience.

The answer to the question is older men who are not looking for a women's definition of a relationship and older women who are demanding a relationship. And so goes the battle of the sexes to never be resolved!

I think you misunderstood..
If I could post screen shots of the actual conversation, I think you'd understand better..

I wasn't pushy, just asking out of genuine curiosity.
If *I* had had an interesting career...I wouldn;t mind someobne asking me about it....getting to know onr another..you want to learn about them..
After all, he *could* have simply said right away "I'd rather not talk about it"...which i would have respected, and moved on to another topic..

Not write several paragraphs about it...then say that last thing..and ghost..
That's on him...not me.

All the detail he went into, I think maybe he felt he'd said too mnuch...