So let me start off with an honest trip down memory lane. I've been single for 2 years now. I've tried at least 12 different dating apps. I've paid for 4 of them. I've personally reached out to a good 300 ladies and have liked well over 1000 profiles. All this "work" has yielded exactly 3 women 2 of which I went on a few dates with. They all went very well. I am a very super likeable dude and a real people person. These ladies were just not the right person for me. However, free or paid subscription all apps have yielded the same results. So in fairness let me first say I don't consider myself to be an overly handsome man. That's not any apps fault nor can they bolster any better numbers between them. I went into this with a realistic attitude but hoped deep down that words of a poet spoken from the heart would somehow land this beast a princess. I am in no way "salty" about my experiences. However I'd be lying if I didnt say I am disappointed. Also, for you ladies when you see the word women ... replace it with men ;)
Factoid #1 be realistic. See yourself as how the world sees you, if you're not an attractive person every dating app yields basically the same results. Your words mean nothing because you get left swiped and those beautiful heart felt words you spent an hour composing are never seen.
Factoid #2 take notice how you start to see the exact same people app jumping. Somehow they are thinking it"ll make a difference. Wait a minute....so did I?! In all reality it will indeed increase your chances, but only the beautiful people truly benefit. Face it, It's allllll based on looks and I've been told on multiple accounts the ladies get bombarded with messages. They won't likely waste their time trying to drive a Chevy when they can drive a Ferrari.
Factoid #3 people have lost the ability to communicate. I am amazed at the women I have interacted with, almost never asked questions about me. If you can't talk over text it sure as hell isn't going to be any better face to face. It's downright rude and insensitive when people don"t ask questions about you.
Factoid #4 EVERY app I have used started with a good solid 3 days of spam accounts. This app suffers from the very same extreme amount of fake users. If I was gullible I'd think I could have any 22 year old I wanted lol. Asking us to pay to see who supposedly likes us when it's beyond obvious these arent real people is really off putting. All apps.... suffer ..... from the same thing!
Factoid #5 refer back to factoid #1

So I raise a glass with and to those not blessed with an exterior that is deemed beautiful. You might die lonely and alone, but at least your dead. Place your faith in today, because tomorrow is always a sucker's bet.

Hi CLE. I have only been here 2 days myself and can already agree on much you have written. I do take issue with the comments regarding your exterior tho. You have a lot more going for you than you think. You are REAL and that is far more important than you give credence to. Hang in there! Whether here or 'out there' I have a feeling you will find them.

Welcome to the asylum known as mingle.

I wish you the best of luck here.

Well i have been on quite a few of these apps through the years. I only have done 2 paid sites. Generally i stay on 2 or 3 free ones plus 1 paid at a time. I would definately agree with most of your book you wrote. The exception I have experienced is with your 3rd fact. Most of the time I get the questions that are clearly on my profile. Which leaves me with the feeling that those people can not translate my profile anyways.

Anyways at least you walked into the doors with your eyes wide open.

Hi CLE, thank you for sharing your experience and for not complaining about Mingle2 as most new members do when they find the forums. lol

Welcome to Mingle2
Have fun mingling

Welcome CLE. I'm sorry you haven't met the woman you are searching for yet. (She just wasn't on the sites you have been on). I agree with some of the things you wrote. But I don't feel that only the people who are attractive on the outside can find a connection. I believe I can speak for quite a few (legit) women on this site & say looks aren't necessarily what women are looking for in a man. Someone truly has to be beautiful on the inside and have the characteristics you are looking for inorder to make the connection. Reading the profiles can tell a lot about a person & you can definately tell in messages who has read yours. This is the only site I have ever been on & I have made quite a few friends on here. I just haven't met the right man for me yet.
Dating sites can work, my sister & her boyfriend met on one a few years ago & they are still going strong.
Hang in there!

CLE....

You said:
"It's allllll based on looks and I've been told on multiple accounts the ladies get bombarded with messages."

Tjis is SUCH a tired, oversaid, and wrong thing..
We women do NOT get "bombarded" with messages..
Well, maybe if you are under 40...

But, like you, i have tried both paid and free sites, and have been mostly ignored, and...have seen the same guys on the free sites as the paid, so, now I do not pay for the privilege of being ignored.

You are a cool looking guy, and I want you to hug Poe and his sibling for me...
(cute writen profile, by the way)


It's true that peorple have lost the ability to communicate..
EVERY time I have started out chatting with someone, and it gone bad it has been because of their poor communication skills...
Then I get frustrated, and am running out of polite and creative ways to say "**** or get off the pot"..
Meaning, i am tired of wasting time on guys who can't keep up their end of the conversation, or who aren't really interested in chatting and learning about someone (it's a two-way street), or are just on the sites because they are bored and want to kill a bit of time in the evenings..
(there seem to be a LOT of the latter on the sites)

I am *very* interested in learmning about someone new, but they can't seem to express themselves well in writing, or can't/ won't talk about themselves...
Plus, if I am the one doing all the work to keep the conversation going...I'm going to give up.
I want someone who is just as interested in learning about me as I am am about them.

I am well aware I am not everyone's cuppa tea, looks-wise or personality-wisebut..that's OK..
I am not interested in pleaseing/ appealing to the masses, never have been...and had two good long terms who thought I was fabulous, but am now sadly a widow..

Even the most quirky of us deserve love, we just have to hope we run across the one that can appreaciate us..

All i can offer is a hug to you and your doggies, and to commiserate that this whole dating thing these days is a hard, demeaning slog..

That was really too long to read.


The gist is, that you get out of it,
what you put into it.

Just like in the real world.

This

No, that is not true! You can put a lot of effort in and you usually get nothing out. I guess it is just the nature of dating sites; most of the people on them are either scammers or aren't actually interested in meeting people and dating!

Sounds like the real world to me.

For myself, I can say the apps don't work.

Least with Mingle2, I did manage to meet a couple of women to go out on dates with. Fortunately for me, those did not go far.

I've managed to meet the lady for me, out in real life.
So I will say that the apps are a tool to help you meet people, but also help you figure out what you're not looking for, for dating or a relationship.

yes,the dating apps DO work,but not exactly as they are advertised...

the way they work is that they make money for the people who own them,even the 'free' sites,because most of them have advertisements on them,which brings in revenue for the owners,depending o how many members they have that might potentially see the ads,just like any other 'free' site.

not to mention that they are a treasure trove of free personal information that people voluntarily put on them that can be used/sold for marketing purposes.

in case you hadn't noticed,that is facebook's business model,too,and it appears to be working out very well for them,doesnt it?

Unfortunately, THIS ^

Actually, your post helps demonstrate,
that what I said, is true.

I've been negative a time or two myself.
So, I try not judge others for their negativity.
However, negativity acts as a repellent in
the dating world.

Positive attitudes attract.


It's all in the bait, that you choose to use.

If you're trying to land the "prize catch",
are you going to bait the hook, with something
that'll attract the prize catch?
Or, contaminate the whole ocean you're fishing
in, with repellent negativity?

^^ this

I felt the same way about dating sites.

I only met a couple of guys in person on the first dating site that I tried but nothing came out of that.

I messaged many men and most never responded. The ones that did, never actually wanted to meet in person.

Then I tried several other sites and never met anyone on any of them. I was disappointed and frustrated so I was going to give up.

Then a man on the first site messaged me. I was going to decline because of his age and really bad poetry. I decided to respond anyways. We chatted online, then on the phone. We finally met and have been dating ever since. It’s been wonderful.

My point is that we sometimes overlook people because of small insignificant things. You don’t really know someone until you meet and spend time with them. I took a chance and it paid off.

Open your mind and it opens more possibilities.

I'm well aware of the need for a positive attitude and I generally go through life with one. I'm also sure there is someone that I personally am compatible with both in who I am and what I am looking for. The reality is that I figure there is a less than 1 in 100,000 chance of finding that person that both fits my needs and I hers. So if I look at 10,000 profiles a year, in the next 10 years I should find her if I am still able to pursue someone at that point in my life. Are there even 10,000 active female users on here?? I doubt it!!

I chatted with a man online then on the phone a from another site. He was ,72 never married retired from a professional job. He had home and financiallly secure. He wanted to meet a potential Spouse. He said, he had a 1% chance of still meeting a woman, who had never been married or had any children, in his age group..

I said, really!

unreasonable expectations! maybe .01%, if that.