Topic: Help with asking a man a sexual question
no photo
Fri 01/18/19 02:42 PM
Edited by Annette0626 on Fri 01/18/19 02:43 PM
what If I meet a gentleman for coffee and he wants to see me again and get to know me I do not know how to politely ask him if he has ED. This can be a real issue with men my age. I still have sexual desire. So, there is no need to get to know someone if this is an issue he has, because it's a deal breaker for me. I do not know how to ask him. Can anyone give me any advise? And, yes I have gone through one bad experience already so I don't want to repeat it. oops

soufiehere's photo
Fri 01/18/19 03:22 PM
If you are talking about M2 meets, you can always address
that issue in your profile.

From personal experience, they will lie anyway ;-)

Tom4Uhere's photo
Fri 01/18/19 11:03 PM
Wow, ED, really?
Been on dating sites long enough to know that women NEVER date for sex.
How strange?

On topic.

Come on to him, look down, if its poking out, no ED.
Simple enough.

Just because a man doesn't get excited when you come on to him doesn't necessarily mean he has ED.
He may just not find you sexually stimulating.
Say it isn't so...

If I meet a gentleman for coffee and he wants to see me again

Not every man has sex on his mind at all times.
Unless you are actively meeting men significantly younger than you (cougar?).
The meet for coffee is not the place to ask such personal questions.
If the meet for coffee is your way of saying come do me now, you probably would have more luck in a bar.

If you need to ask, there is something wrong.
I'm gunna avoid you like an STD.
Choose wisely...

Skins7777's photo
Sun 01/20/19 05:12 PM
Coffee is a good idea....
According to a new study out in the journal PLOS ONE, caffeine intake is linked to reduced odds of having erectile dysfunction (ED) in men who drink the equivalent of two to three cups of coffee per day. ... But for men who are devout coffee drinkers, the results may come as good news.

no photo
Mon 01/21/19 11:47 AM
Edited by Annette0626 on Mon 01/21/19 11:48 AM

Thank you Tom4Uhere, in a round about way you answered my question...

no photo
Mon 01/21/19 11:52 AM

Hi soufiehere,

I've not gotten brave enough yet to put an No-ED requirement in my profile...LOL
But, I agree with you they would lie anyway.

Annette

no photo
Mon 01/21/19 11:55 AM


Thank you Skins7777 for the new study. I guess I'll hangout at Starbucks...just kidding...LOL

Annette

Operator39's photo
Wed 01/23/19 10:38 AM
well first of all I know Darn well I don't have. a problem with Ed so I wouldn't have a problem with the question.

hotflagal's photo
Tue 01/29/19 11:59 AM

what If I meet a gentleman for coffee and he wants to see me again and get to know me I do not know how to politely ask him if he has ED. This can be a real issue with men my age. I still have sexual desire. So, there is no need to get to know someone if this is an issue he has, because it's a deal breaker for me. I do not know how to ask him. Can anyone give me any advise? And, yes I have gone through one bad experience already so I don't want to repeat it. oops
have you considered getting your own cialis to give out to guys that you meet?
Issues like this is why I try to go for guys in their late 40's early 50's they tend to function better

hotflagal's photo
Tue 01/29/19 12:00 PM

Coffee is a good idea....
According to a new study out in the journal PLOS ONE, caffeine intake is linked to reduced odds of having erectile dysfunction (ED) in men who drink the equivalent of two to three cups of coffee per day. ... But for men who are devout coffee drinkers, the results may come as good news.

mu husband drinks coffee lie a fish and rarely gets a hard on anymore

Robert6969's photo
Wed 01/30/19 03:40 AM
Hi Annette,
I'm 67 and ED is a Problem I really don't have and I drink Coffee. If the Mood is Right I'm Ready ..
So heck the other person who answered could be right, maybe it is just the Mood but touching and Kissing could be a way to find out in Seconds. :o)

Onegun's photo
Thu 02/21/19 08:19 PM


Thank you Tom4Uhere, in a round about way you answered my question...



No he didn't. He uttered one man's opinion. An opinion that I happen to completely disagree with.

I'm 66 and occasionally have an issue with ED, but I have no issue with anyone asking me. BTW, it's appearance is directly proportionate to how electric the chemistry is between us.

Robert6969 has a great idea. If a guy is interested, a short makeout session somewhere you wouldn't be expected to have full intercourse would tell you. If nothing happened, you could just bow out with the time worn excuse about not doing anything on the first date, and tell him later it "the chemistry just wasn't there".

Keep in mind when asking such a question that the answer anyone under 40 or so gives is often coming from someone with little to no experience. The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse, (No, not conquest, war, famine and death, but the modern day Horsemen of the Preachers, the Teachers, the Counselors and Cops), have so twisted the brains of the last few generations with their abstinence ********, and technology has done the rest. Most of them have never learned how to ask a girl out on a date or deal with a rejection. All they know is swipe right or swipe left and go "hang out".

Between them all they have dulled the sexual sensitivity of the sexes to where we're not even reproducing at a replacement rate. (Yes, yes, whites in the US, but it's coming soon to a bedroom near you!) Tom4uhere is so sexually immature he likens asking a simple sexual question to someone with an STD! Wow.

And lastly, before you go committing date rape as hotflagal suggests, I suggest you google the drug interactions of Cialis, Viagra and the like. There are many common meds that guys over 50 take that could make either of those two fatal.

Unbelievable.

Tom4Uhere's photo
Thu 02/21/19 09:39 PM
No he didn't. He uttered one man's opinion.

I agree and I can only give a view based on my own opinion.
While it may be unworthy to some, it is valued to me.

BTW, it's appearance is directly proportionate to how electric the chemistry is between us

Thus my statement to notice is appropriate.

Tom4uhere is so sexually immature he likens asking a simple sexual question to someone with an STD! Wow.

LOL
I like the question as a significant issue in the woman's reason for being interested in me.
A woman that is solely interested in the sexual contribution is overlooking other qualities I might offer to the relationship.
It tells me that she is interested in sex and I am much more than that.
While I have never really had an issue in the sexual gratification dept, if that is the focus of her interest, that's just shallow.
I have no time for shallow people in my life.

Since we are all different, I don't find fault with your thinking, its just different than mine.
Be well citizen...

no photo
Thu 01/09/20 02:05 PM
i actually had a lady from here come right out and ask me that question on the first date...i had no problem with her question and promptly answered...i say just ask...biggrin

jscowler 's photo
Sat 03/28/20 02:00 PM
lol Just ask him...lol A real man will give you a straight answer.

SpaceCodet's photo
Sat 03/28/20 05:28 PM
There's many different personalities out there. Generally speaking you want a man who isn't wishy-washy or a pansy-boy. Those types aren't reliable. The other types are full of themselves or selfish. Those types tend to be abusive.

Having coffee or lunch is a good idea for meeting. Diners, parks, cafe and so on. Relaxed places allows for more comfortable conversations. You should not bring it up until between 45-90 minutes after you're both relaxed and connecting in a personable way. This is similar for men as well. But the older we get things are more on the woman then the man to innessiate such matters.

You can bring up the subject about, "Moore and more women are losing interest in sex in their 20s and 30s. 80% of the time it's due to mental or emotional trauma, I think." Then you can gauge his reaction and let him respond if he choses. "With men it's the opposite. 80% of the time it's a physical problem. I don't have any of these problems. Do you?"

Of cause that's just an example which can be modified to the situation. You can also search articles and studies online. Reading up on these subjects will allow you to talk about them more in depth if he knows about such things.

If he's good to go, I'm pretty sure you can handle your business. If he's no longer interested in sex or has E.D. then wait until you both leave and tell him, "I'm looking for an intimate relationship. Sex will cause a problem between us. So, I hope you find someone." Shake his hand and depart.

Brian's photo
Sat 05/30/20 09:28 PM
maybe u should talk to me babe

no photo
Mon 06/08/20 08:22 PM
You can ask a man if he is still able to be sexualy active. He will tell you.