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| Topic: Distance does Matter. | |
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Most of my interests live Miles away from me. I met a really nice man, not on mingle2. I am on Relationship sites where people are into finding a good date. However, distance can be a huge barrier. So many say, they will go any distance to meet. We know that is not always the case. Women sometimes are Willing to go that distance. Love is not always found in your City , guys!! 
If it's not within arms reach it's too far away for me. I've actually found quite a bit of love locally. LDRs generally only work if a strong foundation is pre-existing even then there's great chance for it to end, very rarely will a relationship develop and be successful without pre-existing as an actual relationship. |
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Every woman I have started a conversation with on M2 turns out to be from Africa. Ghana, Nigeria, Camarroon, Istambul, Morroco, etc. They all list themselves as being from somewhere within 100 miles and their game is to start a fake relationship and start begging for money. The whole conversation turns into ITune cards or money transfer services. I can see why some here have been here for years, there is so much smoke being blown up your butt by foreigners you just have to wait and hope there is actually someone who REALLY DOES live in the U.S. Sheesh! I don't know what their inititial message is (as I don't correspond with women on here).. But, if the first message I get from someone is "wow you have a beautiful smile", or "you are so gorgeous are all the men near you blind that you are still single" or some other drivel (I am NOT smiling in my profile picture)...it's an immediate NOPE. Or, if they send their phone number or e-mail in the first message, or want mine right away...another NOPE. I've yet to have it get as far as asking for money..I usually shut it down WAY before that... LOL why is it always...if it's someone from Africa is either a scammer wants your money or something else... I for instance I am not here because there!! no guys in Kenya... I am here because I want to date someone outside my race |
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Every woman I have started a conversation with on M2 turns out to be from Africa. Ghana, Nigeria, Camarroon, Istambul, Morroco, etc. They all list themselves as being from somewhere within 100 miles and their game is to start a fake relationship and start begging for money. The whole conversation turns into ITune cards or money transfer services. I can see why some here have been here for years, there is so much smoke being blown up your butt by foreigners you just have to wait and hope there is actually someone who REALLY DOES live in the U.S. Sheesh! I don't know what their inititial message is (as I don't correspond with women on here).. But, if the first message I get from someone is "wow you have a beautiful smile", or "you are so gorgeous are all the men near you blind that you are still single" or some other drivel (I am NOT smiling in my profile picture)...it's an immediate NOPE. Or, if they send their phone number or e-mail in the first message, or want mine right away...another NOPE. I've yet to have it get as far as asking for money..I usually shut it down WAY before that... LOL why is it always...if it's someone from Africa is either a scammer wants your money or something else... I for instance I am not here because they're know guys in Kenya... I am here because I want to date someone outside my race |
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nothing wrong with a penpal clear across the country. However, to go for coffee, a movie or a dance you need to be within EASY drive distance. I don't mind meeting someone half way, but not going to drive more than 30 miles. So he could live 60 miles away and we could split that and drive 30 each to meet. I would need a safe room - a motel to stay overnight and be able to lock the door. He could either rent a room or drive back home. I believe almost everyone here would want a romance or even a great friendship to begin close to their home. There's not only money for gas involved in driving a long distance, there's the emotional part, if you really don't care for the person, its a waste of time to drive or fly so far. The only way to really meet and talk is SHORT distance....then let it go from there with no hard feelings.
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I prefer unscripted dates.
LDR does not allow for unscripted interactions spontaneously. Distance usually won't matter for a one night, one weekend, one week stand. If you are traveling to a destination for some 'other' reason and you are looking for someone to 'hook up with' while you are there, then distance doesn't matter. If you are trying to build an intimate relationship with someone as a potential mate, distance is an issue. Part of getting to know someone is spending time with them 'living life'. Unscripted meets made by both of you that reveals you as you actually are and not who you 'present' for an occasion. You get to see them in shorts and sandals and doing what they like to do instead of dressed up and being 'presentable' playing a part in some immature game. LDR meet are scripted and planned. Neither is being natural. |
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Sat 02/09/19 07:19 AM
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Immature games happen all the time, especially Online. A couple can build intimacy by chatting onnline and on the phone before any in person meet.
Just because a man. Is close by doesn't mean a real commitment is going to form. Chemistry and commitment is what keeps a couple together. I had a long distance relationship with a man who wasn't Online. Better than any dates close by. What works for some people DOESN'T work for others. Imo Choices, we all make them ! |
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Sat 02/09/19 07:23 AM
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Men like women closeby or in their back yard, so they don't have to put forth must effort to get to her.
Mostly for cooking , cleaning and hugged up watching Netflix. :
Thankfully, there are exceptions. All men don't do that. |
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Men like women closeby or in their back yard, so they don't have to put forth must effort to get to her. Mostly for cooking , cleaning and hugged up watching Netflix. :
Thankfully, there are exceptions. All men don't do that. Actually, I'm just looking for a babysitter with benefits. :P |
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Sat 02/09/19 07:58 PM
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No luck with that! |
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Yeah, but it would be nice to find one that had their own insurance. :P
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Hello I saw what you wrote in one of the topics!! Am jones
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Most of my interests live Miles away from me. I met a really nice man, not on mingle2. I am on Relationship sites where people are into finding a good date. However, distance can be a huge barrier. So many say, they will go any distance to meet. We know that is not always the case. Women sometimes are Willing to go that distance. Love is not always found in your City , guys!!
If you are prepared to relocate I don't believe distance to be a problem. With video calls, phone calls, text messages and emails as means of communication, you can really get to know each other before you even meet up, but it takes time and long distance is not for everyone. You do need to meet as soon as possible, and several times after, before making any big decision regarding relocation, so distance is difficult. I agree with what I have read on here a few times, that you can't really expect to meet the one for you living round the corner. |
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You are true essence of beauty!:)
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If you are prepared to relocate I don't believe distance to be a problem. With video calls, phone calls, text messages and emails as means of communication, you can really get to know each other before you even meet up, but it takes time and long distance is not for everyone. You do need to meet as soon as possible, and several times after, before making any big decision regarding relocation, so distance is difficult. I agree with what I have read on here a few times, that you can't really expect to meet the one for you living round the corner. It IS a problem, of the people you message aren't also interested in a long distance thing, to start.. I'd readily relocate for the right situation, but everyone who is far away i have messaged just shoots it down with "too far"... |
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I had a long distance relationship with my ex-husband for 6 years. We both did the traveling. The last 2 years of dating, I went to stay with him in the summers since I was a teacher and didn't work in the summer.
I would be willing to travel to meet someone or continue a relationship if both of us were serious. I would also be glad to relocate. I would definitely want to make sure we were ready to make a commitment for a permanent relationship. Most men don't want to travel very far. |
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If you are prepared to relocate I don't believe distance to be a problem. With video calls, phone calls, text messages and emails as means of communication, you can really get to know each other before you even meet up, but it takes time and long distance is not for everyone. You do need to meet as soon as possible, and several times after, before making any big decision regarding relocation, so distance is difficult. I agree with what I have read on here a few times, that you can't really expect to meet the one for you living round the corner. It IS a problem, of the people you message aren't also interested in a long distance thing, to start.. I'd readily relocate for the right situation, but everyone who is far away i have messaged just shoots it down with "too far"... You are right. Many people are just not wanting a long distance relationship, for them distance is a problem because their preference is to date local, which is of course better providing you find the right person to date, and not settle for any person. I don't believe distance needs to be a problem for the reasons I mention. This is an international dating site, so there will be some people on here not to concerned about distance, probably far fewer than those only looking local as you have discovered, but you just have to keep looking. People should use the site filters and say what they are looking for in their profile, save everyone wasting their time. |
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You are right. Many people are just not wanting a long distance relationship, for them distance is a problem because their preference is to date local, which is of course better providing you find the right person to date, and not settle for any person. I don't believe distance needs to be a problem for the reasons I mention. This is an international dating site, so there will be some people on here not to concerned about distance, probably far fewer than those only looking local as you have discovered, but you just have to keep looking. People should use the site filters and say what they are looking for in their profile, save everyone wasting their time. All that is well and good...but, my filters *are* set for any distance (but only in the US..not interested in foreign dudes or moving overseas) The ONLY ones that contact me from several hundred miles away are scammer dudes....NO one real and legit... 
And, as I said, the ones *I* message first aren't interested in someone any ditance away.. I am well aware the guys in my region are overwhelmingly not what I am looking for (neither my late husband or the man before him were from here, but got brought here by their parents for worlk back when they were kids/ teenagers) ~~sigh~~ |
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Of course it matters. I've always been the first one to laugh at the silliness of LDR. They are mostly a waste of time. Logic dictates that you can meet MANY people locally in the time it takes to finally hook up with that ONE long distance friend.
However, lately I've come to the realization that despite all logic, the heart wants what it wants. And for some strange reason the heart usually wins the debate with the mind. |
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I'm never going to find love in a different country. This is why I stick to the city. I'm here for a reason, not a season.
 
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The important thing to remember is unscripted life.
LDR is totally scripted. You set up the meets. You make ready for them. You do things you don't normally do in preparation for the meet. You make extreme choices sometimes. You do things you wouldn't normally do, act in ways you don't normally act. I'm going out for groceries. We talk. She uses the same grocery store as I. I'm out shopping and lo and behold, there she is. Cool! I didn't get dressed up to go see her. She didn't get dressed up to see me. Her hair is natural, she's wearing clothes she feels comfortable wearing. Those Twinkies in her kart may be a tell but so is your pound of bacon. You get to see her unscripted. She gets to see you unscripted. Its not a date. There are no expectations. You learn what it is for her to actually be her. She learns what it is for you to actually be you. LDR, you don't get that unscripted you/her. Its all on purpose, a means to an end. In trying to build a meaningful relationship, you NEED unscripted encounters to let you understand the other as they really are. Otherwise, you find yourself stuck between the scripted her and the REAL her. And...vice-versa. Most people will take it as lies but it really isn't, its scripted. |
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