The common theme everyone has here, is to be yourself - that's so true...

But I would add, like yourself on the inside, and let that come out.

iam4u said to find something another chick liked about you - add that to your list of things you like about yourself.

you're great - be yourself, like yourself...

And, Josh speaks truth from the mountain...

Women have to filter through SO much...

Be interesting, be different - our young padawan learner...

I suspect Josh and I had the same Jedi Master... lol...

Joe, I thought the same thing. I can assure you we did. lol. But I can honestly say there's been nothing but improvement since taking the time to educate myself on what exactly it was I'm trying to do! lol. Has your experience been as positive?

Absolutely positive, dude! It was a GREAT education!

Nice meetin' a fellow Jedi! LOL!

Confidence is big. When I was growing up I never had a lot of confidence. As an asian male growing up in a all white community it was tough, I was 5'4 in highschool, 120 pounds, not good at sports, and really smart. Needless to say not a lot of dates or attention. It wasn't until I got to college that I opened up a little, started feeling better about myself. The one thing I did develop in highschool was a smartass wit.

I read part of an ebook that Chief recommended. John Alexander's How to be an Alpha Male. A lot of this stuff I already kinda knew but I just never really put it into practice. If you don't have confidence, fake it. Fake it until it becomes natural. It's all perception, you feel a certain way about yourself, other people probably see you differently. I never realized how many beta things I did throughout the day until I became conscious of it.

Looking down, averting people's eyes, bad posture, not smiling, closed posture etc. I dialogue with myself all day, I tell myself I'm the F'in MAN, I'm the S***. I walk straight but relaxed, I force myself to make eye contact, I remember funny things which naturally makes me smile in a normal unforced way.I practice smiling, yeah weird, but I'll be all alone in my car and grinning like a weirdo. I try to shift my mindset. I think about the great qualities I have that a girl would love. My intellect, my wit,my humor, my sense of ethics and honor.

Develop an alpha mentality, it makes a world of difference. You end up being less needy, you don't beg a girl to be with you, you just treat them like you treat your friends. You don't put them on pedastals because you are their equals, you are a desirable male and a girl would be lucky to have to you in their life.

JSH has also been a big influence on gaining a better sense of self confidence. I've written several humorous posts and the response I've gotten has been so positive that it can't help but make me feel good about myself.

I use humor all the time, most girls love to laugh. I use it in my profile, I use it in my emails and on the forums.

I'm on match.com. I've used bits of my "10 reasons to date an asian" post on my profile there. I began emailing this very pretty asian girl. Pretty asian girls get a TON of emails on match, I'm talking 50+ per day minimum. You need to stand out, don't use the stupid profiles everyone else uses. Take the time to make yours funny, witty, and most of all STAND OUT. In that first email you need to show you read her entire profile, you need to write a subject line that makes her open the email.

Don't write Hello, or Hi sexy, or I'm not like other guys. They get a million messages like that, use some crazy random words jumbled.
"manatees hate ice cream" "robotic platapus is attacking me" "you suck" stuff like this makes someone at least open your email cause it's different, they want to find out why you think they suck. Then go into your email remembering to show that you read their profile and that you're funny. Make fun of the lame emails that she's getting from the lame dudes who send out the cookie cutter crap.

Last thing, be someone who's going somewhere. Learn skills. Having expertise in a certain area automatically makes you an alpha when dealing with that area. Ever see how the girls swoon around the guy who can dance really well in the club, not just kinda sway back and forth but really dance. There's a reason why I'm learning how to pop. I do enjoy it a lot, it's fun, but it confers alpha status. Learn skills that you're interested I practice cooking, I practice popping, martial arts, calligraphy, cartooning. I have a lot of hobbies. It enriches your life and being good at things is attractive and gives you authority on that subject.

I'm not an athlete, I'm not a model, I'm not wealthy, but I am ME and I have a lot to offer an indepent, strong, intellectual, funny, cute gal.

Likewise Joe. I believe we found a third.... ^ lol

Pretty much everything everyone has said is true. Be yourself, and yes us women do tend to "filter". We have to!

We aren't looking to spend our time getting to know someone who we feel is just out there to see how many women they can attract. We aren't interested in helping you maintain your "player" status.

If we can sense that you aren't about that, then yes, we will probably give you the time of day.

Confindence is very important, however, most of us women don't like a "cocky" guy! Keep that in mind, don't confuse confidence with cockyness!!! :)

You can be cocky if you use humor as well. Being cocky without the humor makes you arrogant and women hate that. But being a little cocky in a joking manner is good. Make sure that you know how to use tone so they know it's a joke.

geektothetenth makes a good point. We women do like humor, we love to laugh. I will agree with his last post, if you are cocky, but with humor that will make us laugh, then that may not be a bad thing!

Geek, I agree with your last post. However, I shouldn't expect any of the women to, because they respond to playful cockiness unconsciously. If you ask a woman if she likes 'cocky funny' she'll tell you no. But if you walked up to her in a social setting and, within reason and without being obnoxious, playfully teased her, you're likely to catch her attention. And at that point, you're trying to avoid being sifted out of the pile, and to passively demonstrate those 'alpha male' characterisics, so if nothing else it'll buy you the next 30 seconds, which is pretty much what the first 10 minutes of a conversation usually is. lol.

yup, I think you're right, Welcome, GeekTen!

last post proves it... LOL!

theel - dude - use this advice - it's golden...
Cage the Inner Wuss, then beat it to death with a Baseball Bat!

Perhaps our young padawn learner needs an assignment - though I'm not sure about doing that for FREE! LOL!

Oh, GeekTen - Wicked stuff man! WAY cool!

And then wishing made a liar out of me. lol.

lol nobody could blame you for that Joe, I'm assuming it wasn't free for any of us either. lol

Amen, Brother...

(Theel, we're stealing your thread - get in here and give us the smackdown, Man! - LOL!)

I'm sorry to have made a liar out of you Josh!!

But you're right. Not many women would agree with that.

Yeah we kinda did. My appolgies Theel. lol

Theel is a Man! Theel will Crush his Inner Wuss. Theel will then Crush us for stealing his thread!

Right Theel?!?!? jump in here, man!

Well. my cocky funny probably isn't exactly the same as what PUA's describe (I think), I don't really read that much of that stuff and I don't know all the terms. I guess when I'm being cocky funny it's more like teasing (negs maybe, I'm not sure if that's right). I'll make fun of her a little, but then I'll make fun of myself. It's just the way my humor tends to be.

Are you two trying to tell this dude that WE ARE ALL in WONDER of what ATTRACTS WOMEN to "US"....??? LOL

And that a LADY'S THOUGHTS can SOMETIMES be as abstract of your own that you may NEVER understand ALL THE WHY'S,,..
But Just Know, HE'S NOT ALONE.....lol In NOT KNOWING!!!


GOD made them women different for ALOT of REASON'S...lol

To gain confidence you must go to self affirmation meetings anonymous. And repeat after me..... I'm smart enough, I'm good enough, and dog gonnit people like me!