I love this so much :)

People want to be happy, and need/expect/want it to manifest before they feel happy.
People want to be in love, but need another person before they can feel that way.
But you can be in love before you meet someone. You can be happy, you can be in love with the idea of a relationship.
You can be in love with aspects of a past relationship, and other aspects from another one, and another.

Which boils down to taking the things you loved in each relationship you were in and focus on that, keep that active in your vibration while NOT including that partner of course, it's about the aspect.
For me that would be the sharing of musical & creative interest with one, the great communication and incredible click with another, the undying care and devotion and sense of security from yet another, and so on.
All these aspects are what I loved and help me to feel good about the idea of being in a relationship. And of course I hope to find these aspects in a new relationship :)
By simply loving these, being in love with the idea of a new partner and relationship, it will come. Because you then are a match to it.

A great relationship & partner -that positive happy person- cannot come if you're being a miserable git.
Like attracts like...
- When I was scared and insecure and needed a safe haven I attracted a partner who offered me that. Did mean he too needed a safe haven, it was not the love of my life. Logical: I hadn't been looking for the love of my life, I had been looking for a safe haven, and that's what I got.

- When I was on top of the world, loving life, and decided to let the search for a partner slide for that moment as I was already happy, he showed up within 1 month...

Ever notice when you feel grumpy you only come across other grumpy people? And it seems nothing works out?
When you're happy you attract happy. When you're miserable, you attract miserable, and so on.

So... when you can manage to feel in love with the idea of a relationship, that great partner, the aspects of a relationship you love so much, he/she cannot not come.

It is a fact, that positive vibes are contagious, but negative vibes are the same. But when you have a potential match, it is important to relish each other in good and in bad time. JMO

I agree, but that actually is another subject

I was picking up on this line, because it caught my attention ...


A great relationship & partner -that positive happy person- cannot come if you're being a miserable git.
Like attracts like...

You're absolutely right!
It's called "Be careful what you wish for, you may just get it".

And it works!
I haven't wished to be in a relationship for ten years and it's exactly what I'm getting: No relationship.

Good thread

The other question: what about your life and lifestyle are you willing to give up to find a new partner? Partners have demands in what they are looking for also and if that isn't you, there will be no new partner! When is it no longer worth the time and effort to even look?

That's not a question related to my OP as when you're in that mindset still you aren't positive, happy, and in love with the idea of a relationship.
You cannot be positive & negative at the exact same time, it's either or.
What you come up with is a negative approach and it would likely make you attract someone who matches that exact idea and approach.

It's quite self-explanatory that if you are really happy, excited and in love with the idea of a relationship, you are also willing to make compromises to necessitate it, like making space in the wardrobe, waiting for the other to be home before you eat and so on.

It comes down to what your idea of a desirable relationship is. Not all of us want the same type of relationship even though we would very much enjoy our idea of a relationship.

Of course that can easily backfire as you start building ideas and idealizations from a bunch of past relationships which can't exist in one single person. And then you go on date after date and meet person after person, and at some point you start thinking "Oh, they'd be perfect...if they just had this one thing, or didn't do this other thing," or, "wow, except/because of this thing(s) they're just like that old relationship!...but that didn't work out for (x) reasons, uh oh I'd better watch out for (y)" and then your behavior changes.

Plus, what about the other people while you're doing this, with all those things from your past relationships floating around in your head.

You have an effect on them too. 1,4,20,30 people until you find your "great relationship & partner," has to deal with someone that has read something like the OP and are ultimately penalized for not living up to some past ideal(s) and possibly romanticized notion of their past and future relationships and what they "should" be.


At best what you're advocating here is ignorance is bliss. Romanticize the past, build up false ideas, rationalize your current potential mates behavior to fit into it, psyche yourself up to be happy and excited and energetic for newness, then work on deluding yourself as much as possible. Your past is the key for which tools to use to best fool yourself.
Just putting a "happy" spin on it doesn't change that.



Do you have any proof of this whatsoever?
And that doesn't even address what defines a "great" relationship.
So vague terms and an unprovable statement.


People attract people.
Like mostly attracts like for either:
- easier communication.
- defining group boundaries against those that aren't alike to provide an easy feeling of safety and security.


No. Might as well say "ever notice when you're hungry, you only come across things that remind you of food rather than neurosurgery?"


If you look at the statistics for how many people you actually date or interact with on a social level throughout your life to how many times you find some kind of "great" relationship, you could say "nothing" ever works out and it doesn't really matter if you're happy or not.


When you're happy you don't really notice grumpy, or you're happy to try and spread your happiness and don't collect statistics on how many happy people vs. grumpy people you attract/avoid/reject/repulse.

Here's a clue: no matter your emotional state, you have built in mechanisms to try and perpetuate it. Excitement affects the brain and body, the body and the brain, and so on until there's enough thought or external stimulation to change it. e.g. tickling. Physical body stimulation excites the brain, releasing hormones, increasing heart rate and sympathetic nervous system, which excites the brain which excites the body so tickling feels more..."stimmulating." That can lead to other behavior. Tickling back, tickling in response to new areas. Meanwhile for a while your body is still full of hormones, your heart rate is still going, palms or other parts are still sweaty, which can/does trigger the brain to respond some more. Eventually you're overstimulated and demand to stop, or it stops, but you're still "amped up" and you form ideas of things to do next that continue the "good" or "funny" feeling, or to alleviate the "bad" or "wrong" or "weird" feelings. To perpetuate the direction and condition of where you're at and what you think it means.


When you're "happy" you don't "attract" happy, you simply look for the best means to perpetuate the desired feeling.
Keeping in mind you also do automatic ROI calculations on pretty much everything you do without realizing it.
So you may notice "happy" people around you as the best means of getting into a reciprocating feedback loop to keep the desired stimulation and excited brain and body state going.


People are junkies to the chemicals in their brain and body.
They become aware of, and focus on, the best dealers that will help them get the fix they think will lead them to where they think they want to be, or believe they should be.


Of course not.
Because once you've deluded yourself into the idea that the next person is going to be your ideal partner to such a degree you can induce your own happiness and excitement, you're naturally going to help yourself overlook anything that will contradict how you want to see reality and work more diligently to make it true, all so you can get the emotional highs you want to perpetuate.
The more you can ignore what your intelligence and actual reality is telling you, and the more you focus on manipulating your reality to fulfill the script of what you want it to be, and focus on making yourself feel how you want to, the longer a "great" relationship via your method will last.

You've just rediscovered that ignorance is bliss.
Good luck with that!

There is of course a lot of truth in the idea and the processes of this.

There's nothing magic about any of it, though. Positive thinking, and "act as though you already have what you want," and this idea (something along the lines of "pretend you already are in love, to attract love") works when it does, for purely mechanical reasons.

People who are happy are more attractive than people who are sad. People who are angry and suspicious tend to make people who are okay assume they want to be left alone, or are dangerous; and only people who are attracted to unhappiness or anger, tend to go after them.

The simplest thing I recommend generally, that's related closely to this, is to practice and discipline yourself to have a pleasant "resting face." Again, for purely mechanical reasons, if you wear a sort of "Mona Lisa" level smile when you are at rest, more people will take you to be approachable and sane, than if you allow your face to be creased in seeming annoyance or almost as bad, nutty with mania.

One more note, do support the idea of this, but be careful you don't adopt it as though it's a guaranteed formula for promised rewards.

A person can do absolutely everything right, and be the most deserving of love and adoration that is possible, and still not CHANCE to come into contact with the person who would thus care for them. And many a time, I've witnessed people who followed the OPs kind of advice, and when it didn't pay off fast enough, they resentfully went the other way and insured they would go on failing.

So yes, think positively, live for the best chance of what you want, just don't expect it to work like a contract with the gods.

@igor

"People who are angry and suspicious" make wrinkles too soon and don't look pleasant.

Actually it can work real fast, not just in finding love, but with everything you'd want in life. But not if you're doing what you describe: resentfully go the other way.
If you feel resentful it means you were pretending, and pretending doesn't work. You cannot fool energy.
The same like a really depressed person might try to come across happy and okay, you'd still feel they aren't. It's the same with Law of Attraction.
It's not about acting, making out to be positive, it is about truly being positive. You cannot fake that.
And that is the hardest part, cos for us humans it seems easier and more tempting to whinge & whine and rant and be negative than it is to simply focus on good and positive things so we can feel that way and keep feeling that way some 70-80% of the time.
It is really quite amazing that we rather stay in a non-positive state of mind and way of living than to invest a little bit of time each day to feel better, feel good, feel great.

I know how to get myself there, and I do that on very regular basis, yet it is SO easy to let it slide and slip back into a rut of not-so-happy.
We really are weird beings, haha.

But it really can work fast, with anything, from manifesting parking space -even the exact one you had in mind-, to attracting more money, cooperative people and so on, AND a date / lover.
The only 'but' is that you have to be able -and willing- to maintain your higher positive vibration. And that is difficult for people, especially when you have to interact in society a lot (like for work) as society as a whole is bleeping negative minded.

Saw the title and was gonna quip...

By my age "new" is out of the question.
So, shop smart! Shop S-Mart!
The slightly used partner store.



Finding a new partner, is like that proverbial
"needle in a haystack".

We get so intent on digging through the hay,
that we miss the needle.

For me, i've had much better success,
when i wasn't searching.


Yes, i did reference your other thread.