Who has social anxiety here? let's help each other to overcome it

I have social anxiety. It's too late for me.

I can recommend cognitive behaviour therapy and assertiveness training programme. But I can only say, social media only pushes you into the right direction. You still need 1:1 counselling.

It comes and goes. I'd force myself to go out and meet people socially, but not enjoying it at all. Only got worse.
Was much less of a chore when going door to door meeting new people in businesses looking for a job; probably because I had something real to say to prospective bosses and secretaries, instead of making up small talk.

Seems if you have a purpose and or a goal not related to meeting people for the sake of it, your mind is occupied with the task, not the interaction.

I've given up going out to meet people, and waste my time in internet dating sites instead. Same results (nothing), but much less anxiety (and expense).
Instead of being rejected with lame excuses, I just get no feedback, which is easier to deal with. Or just scammers, which are a minor piss off.

I do. And I have a tendency to strip naked in crowds, which only makes matters worse

You can train your mind to think differently than your usual pattern of thought.

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/connecting_skills.html


***“Dialectic” means ‘weighing and integrating contradictory facts or ideas with a view to resolving apparent contradictions.’ In DBT, therapists and clients work hard to balance change with acceptance, two seemingly contradictory forces or strategies. Likewise, in life outside therapy, people struggle to have balanced actions, feelings, and thoughts. We work to integrate both passionate feelings and logical thoughts. We put effort into meeting our own needs and wants while meeting the needs and wants of others who are important to us.'

What does “dialectical” mean?

The term “dialectical” means a synthesis or integration of opposites. The primary dialectic within DBT is between the seemingly opposite strategies of acceptance and change.****

https://behavioraltech.org/resources/faqs/dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt/




Full course

https://www.amazon.com/Skills-Training-Handouts-Worksheets-Second/dp/1572307811/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1538244142&sr=8-2&keywords=marsha+linehan+dbt+skills+training&dpID=51RBPxizvhL&preST=_SX218_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch

Being on a COMPUTER should help Social anxiety !

You are hiding behind a Keyboard Online.

Is it too soon to ask where you think the root of your anxiety lays? When you can try to figure out where it comes from, it stands to reason, you then have a better chance of fixing it.

I'd recommend contacting your local mental health
professionals, and scheduling regular counseling
to help overcome your social anxiety.


Without proper professional help, and guidance,
social anxiety can be a very crippling disorder.

One out of every four people will accept you on a level that others will not.

It can be kind of fun facing anxiety. It is good to practice both in high stake and low stake situations. High stake is more observant and careful, and low stake is more creative and like play.

I try to make myself vulnerable and honest when I can, to understand social situations and my fears, and to strengthen my character. As an example, on here, I admit that I will get bad digestion such that I can not sleep, if I eat dinner real late at night. So if I am going out to fancy dinners late at night with people, I actually go to bed much later the day before, so that late at night is not really late on my internal clock, so I don’t get indigestion. I admit things like that where I know it is okay to, but never let on at a formal dinner.

I have a lady friend who has extreme anxiety. She is taking prescription meds for her anxiety. However, she is on many public websites.

I don't think this helps her situation any........

If OP was a guy I would have suggested watching Dinklage's speech to Bennington's Class of 2012

But since OP is a girl, with twice the problem men have; (although women have twice the intelligence; something they say has to do with denser networking between the L & R brain hemispheres) I suggest she watch it twice.

No I'm serious.

As the OP is relatively young, the first time for herself
and the second time for the guy she would like to meet.






.

I have some social anxiety but not bad enough to stop all interactions. It does affect some areas of my life but I just deal with it day by day.

to me mostly anxiety triggers when writing exam or having interview i hate both of this activity.

When I was younger I suffered horribly with social anxiety.. but I believe mostly it was the lack of confidence in myself... I felt like I did not quite fit in with the norm.. I was tall and thin and awkward. My sisters would say I was handsome but I never really believed that... I had a few good School friends... but I was not popular by any means.. my lack of confidence in myself.. myself criticism of the way I looked... kept me mostly to myself.. I suppose being the only male in a family of five did not help... I never really learned how to connect with other Men.. was not a big hunter, fisher or Motorhead.... I suppose I was what they call today a metrosexual man... back then they didn't really have a word for it.. I was sensitive to the needs of others.. did not have a problem expressing myself..my emotions..
I had a good fashion sense.. I connected with women easier than..men.. but giving my upbringing .. that was natural . but it always made me feel a bit like an outsider..

.. Now That I'm Older my confidence in myself is solid. I have no problems being out and about.. luckily I still do not see myself as good looking.. so I don't have a super big ego...lol. which my sister's always. Say they're grateful for because I would be insufferable otherwise .lol.. but I still have some social anxieties.. when going to dinner parties.. or meeting new people... I find making small talk horribly awful.. but I realize it's because most people have not a lot to say.. or anything really interesting.. to talk about.. I don't like small talk I like having conversations on a deeper more meaningful level... but I realize some of my anxiety comes from the fact.. that my own life isn't all that interesting.. but that is something that can always be changed...

And I guess that's the underlying current with anxiety... you have to learn to do what you can about what you can and don't get so hung up about the things you can't change... you have to learn to get out of your own head space... accept yourself for who you are.. sure !sure!.. you can always go to the gym, dress in different clothing.. get a haircut.. change your eating habits.. but at the end of the day you still are going to be who you are.. seek out like-minded people.as your self.. don't change just to fit in to a certain group... but at the same time if you want to be seen as more interesting..well.. read a book.. travel..
Go to the art museum.. take up painting...
You have One Life to Live... live it! don't hide in the shadows.. of your anxieties.....
Take action... be happy with who you are...

Not to minimize what others have already posted...

I think "social anxiety" is a product of low self-esteem.

I suggest a personal journey into yourself with complete honesty.

No matter how rich, powerful, skilled, graceful, intelligent or valued someone else might be...they all poop, they all bleed when cut and every single one will die eventually, just like you.

You can respect someone that earns your respect.
You can fear someone that is dangerous.
You can enjoy watching someone that is graceful.

These things are not what makes you special, it makes them special.
What makes you special is the fact that nobody else on this planet lives behind your eyes.
This makes you unique.
It gives you something the others don't have.
You are an 'authority' on you.

Social anxiety is not always a product of low self esteem. I had no anxiety until after my son passed away. Then it took hold of me to the point of panic attacks. I’m much better now but still have some anxiety lingering. My bf also suffers from anxiety but his self esteem is fine.

I agree JBH, there can be a lot of reasons why we experience social anxiety, it's not always linked to low self esteem.

Social anxiety can also be due to an anxiety disorder. That is not a product of low self esteem, however low self esteem can be a product of social anxiety disorder.

Kind of like which came first, the chicken or the egg thing. I think people assume it's because of self esteem because those with anxiety tend to be hard on themselves for having anxiety, which could ultimately effect the self esteem.

First ((((Hugs))))

I agree I never had it until something happened. I went through a patch where I had panick attacks. I was probably really hard on myself about it. I've learned to control it to a point. Sometimes to much stress and I notice it creeping in. Then I nip it in the bud not today Satan not today.