Can we all find love after 40? Sometimes I think men my age are just after one thing because they can't be bothered to chat and get to know someone. I guess I'm old fashioned and waiting to find Mr right and it will be like the good old days when people actually spoke and went out on dates. Not just hey babe what you looking for?? I want to chat and get to know someone become friends and take it from there. I think there is nobody that thinks like me or maybe I'm wrong???

Alrighteo ... I am 48. Separated since June 2016, but not divorced yet, coz this takes 4 poxy years in Ireland.

And guys, who are only after that certain thing, should visit their local red light district.

Depends on what kind of love you're looking for.

But IME a lot of people "after 40 and divorced" are looking for either:
- a kind of emotional swiss army pet that loves them, it happens to be a human, all excited over the smallest attention.
- to be a teenager again and want someone else to provide them with that experience, a love guru that will take responsibility for them and turn them back into a 16 year old when all romantic emotional experiences were fresh and untempered.


IMO not like you've understood it when younger.


Maybe they think women are just after one thing?
Their own selfish emotional gratification through shallow "friends" relationships that are based on her boundaries and her idea of her ideal relationship?

IMO you don't really get to know someone through chatting.
At best that's like hostage negotiation or trying to coax a wounded animal out of their den.


At some point you're going to have to realize it isn't the good old days.
Doesn't really matter if you never realize "good old days" never really existed.


Why not spend time to come up with a great answer for that?
Or learn how to make that into a conversation with someone?


So you want to develop a relationship that is suited to you and your comfort level, develop a committed emotional bond, before deciding whether or not you want to develop more, and not make a commitment for anything else beyond you getting a validating relationship?

Why would a guy looking for an intimate, romantic, loving partner want that?

IME that is tantamount to saying "I'm an employer, I don't know whom to trust. I just want someone with experience that knows how to do the job to just intern, work for free, be loyal to the company, before I decide whether or not I want to hire them. Hey! I called it interning! So they're getting something out of it too!"


A lot of women think just like you do. The internet is overflowing with the single ladies that share your vision.

And there are a ton of single guys online that will pander to you, tell you all sorts of sweet things to make you believe they believe the same way and all those guys that seem to just want "one thing" are gross and bad and less honorable than they are, because they believe that about themselves.
Only when you date them you'll find that ultimately the relationship with them lasts pretty much the same amount of time as those seeking the "one thing."

Your right, we are looking to get laid and then have some good macaroni and cheese while watching ESPN sports... that's it.

Plus we sit on the couch, drink beer and belch like pigs

And scratch our nuts, while cursing our football team on the screen.

we hear you ladies yelling at us " do you HAVE to do that!!".. but we pay no attention

that's a man, sorry ladies ;)

Aye. And we sit there in manky underwear and forget anniversaries, birthdays, and so on

talk about perpetuating a stereotype! Good job guys

And we will leave the toilet seat up. Its 5am, we are barely awake. Count yourself lucky that we hit the bowl at all.

Aye. That's the plan. Exaggerating stereotypes shows, how ridiculous they are

Purphaze there's plenty of men out there like what you want, but they aren't the type to get out and meet people and ask you out, because there is too much competition from the root rats that women are more attracted to, but then complain about.
You may have to seek out the type of men you like rather than wait for them to surface and get the courage to talk to you.
Also if a guy has to wait months to get close to you, they will just go elsewhere sooner or later.
For over forties, just holding hands for ages doesn't cut it.

lol

I don't like macaroni cheese but I make a mean spag bol. lol

For me, without onions please

Well you can't win can you haha. You want to date then you are bombarded with pervs. You want a relationship then your desperate. You want to be friends then we are playing games .. what do you want? lol

Notbeold...
You said:
"the root rats that women are more attracted to"

I don't know about the women *you* run across, but *I* have never been one for the "bad boy", or whatever society says women "go" for these days..

Didn't fancy them in my teens/ 20's..sure as hell don't want one now...

I do realise that men don't want to talk forever and either do I. I am not naïve at all. lol

who said they have to wait months . I don't think you've read my statement properly lol

You will just have to pick them out lol

Sounds good :).. but you know I will get some on my t shirt.... goes without saying.