Dear Lord, I long for the companionship of a woman, and it is getting so difficult. I don’t want to settle for someone who You don’t want me with. I want a physical connection so bad! I want to hold hands, kiss, and cuddle! I want hour-long conversations at night! But, I don’t want to settle just to have these things. Father, please hear my prayer to You! Guide me to a person who is right for me. Guide me to someone who loves You above all things. Lord, give me strength for today as I continue searching for a spouse.

For the first time, I feel like I am never going to find you. Love feels distant to me. It never has. It is not something I have been feeling just today but it has been a really long time now. I really feel that you are never going to happen to me. Maybe that is why I have not been able to write because your existence in the future does not connect with me anymore. In my own life right now, I am just spiraling down. The only way it goes is down, I try to go up but then I fall deeper into crisis. I lay down everything to God.

For the first time, I won’t be looking out for you anymore. It feels normal but inside I know it should not feel normal because all my life all I have done is look for you and now I just don’t. It should feel bad but I don’t feel anything at all. So why am I writing this to you? Hope.

I hope that even if I give up looking in every corner for you, you will find me. I hope that you would just happen to me. I have given up because there is no bliss, in this case, there is no reward in being so desperate (that’s the word people would use, right?) and there is no happiness in absence. I have had my share of disappointments in relationships and I am worn out. Maybe how winds change people, it would change me too. It is what I am hoping for with all my heart.

People keep asking me why I don’t search for you anymore and well, they know now. They also keep saying, oh you are so handsome, any girl would be happy to have you. A BIG NO. Nobody was ever happy to have me and I highly doubt handsomeness is what anyone is looking for. Everyone is looking very specific things and they just can’t tolerate not having something. In this world of instant gratification, it’s hardly their fault. No one wants to compromise.

I want a lot of things. I want to join hand and god to pray together, go get ice cream with you, long walks in lovely weather and just lay gazing at the stars. I want to serve the Lord with you at my side. How can someone not want little instances of pure blissful energy, a moment that can never be anything less than perfect? But looking at this outlook of the world, it brings me down. Being told at every corner that you are crazy gets your mind sometimes.

Waoo if this is how people say their prayers then i need to pull up my socks. Amen to your prayers.

good luck

I don't think your crazy. Stay strong in the Lord!
6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

I personally think its crazy that anyone thinks there is something more important than loving and being loved. Even crazier that anyone who knows Jesus would be satisfied by fleeting passions of the flesh.

Galations 5:17-26
17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever[a] you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: SEXUAL IMMORALITY, IMPURITY and DEBAUCHERY; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, FORBEARANCE, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and SELF-CONTROL. Against such things there is no law. 24 THOSE WHO BELONG TO CHRIST JESUS HAVE CRUCIFIED THE FLESH WITH ITS PASSIONS AND DESIRES. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

Self control is the hardest and just like taming the tongue it requires full submission to holy spirit.. :)

Keep the faith brothers and sisters. GOD BLESS XXX <3

Don't give up. I prayed that the Lord would pick someone for me and He did. It was an amazing relationship, God was Number 1 for both of us, and then each other. Remain steadfast in the Lord and He will answer your prayers. Remember, in His time, not ours.