what happened to dating without relying on apps or the internet?

what happened to chivalry? in my intake its not dead

what happened to getting to know someone instead of jumping right into sex?

what happened to taking things slow?

what happened to living in a world where you can be you without be labeled?

I ask this questions, because its not just hearing your opinions but also to know if I'm not the only one that believes in good morals, being polite etc etc.

The world evolved and everyone else had the choice what to follow and believe. It really stems from our roots where our character and principles were molded and developed. I am old school so the questions you posted , i can also relate to. Lets not lose hope , there are still very good people around with old fashioned good values and the kindest gentlest of hearts.

I haven't lost hope, but I feel like this world is advancing still onto the technology age and I understand it helps us but is it necessary to use it 24/7 I know I am the many out there that rely on this but I just want to disconnect from everything that is technological. but alas as you or anyone will tell me you can't its every where you go so get with today's program

If you disconnect then you wont be here posting your thoughts. We all go through burn out i guess? These will all pass.

why bother post stuff? I feel like I'm still lost out there in this world. I haven't found my passion, I have done nothing with my life but get off the meth and I am happy to announce I will be 2 years clean this july. I am just tired, but I don't know how many toads I must kiss til I find the one or the ones. I don't want to sleep around til I find the ones or the one. I want to wait on love for I have been single for 4 years now, and I can't party as much I used to which I am glad. I just don't know what I am doing anymore. I thought I was gay but now looking at myself I don't know which gender I like at times I wish i was asexual but I know I am not

thanks for your support but no I do eventually want to be away from technology, it has been nothing but a problem for me

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ok

Well, I can tell you from an older perspective, that all that chivalry, and what many think of now as old fashioned values, weren't respected except in public, even when I was young. Rather shocking and disappointing thing to discover, as a youth on the prowl for a serious mate.

However, life is up to each of us. Essentially, what I learned, is that although the world I was promised as a child is a lot SMALLER than I expected it to be, since so few people actually believe in it enough to work to make it happen, it does actually exist.

There ARE people like what you and I are looking for, just not as many of them as would make our search short and easy.

Igor

I think one of the biggest causes is the lack of community. So many people have moved to larger metro areas where you loose your identity and, because of fear, you avoid getting acquainted with the people around you. Even when you come back into a smaller community you still carry that mentality. Part of that is because of how we now raise our children in the name of protecting them and that mentality follows them into their adult life.

the world has evolved in a lot of areas ,but morals and values are still the same.

Chivalry is not dead, its on life support but there are those that are brought up that still practices it, you just have to find them and with the new technology and apps its easier to find them

Getting to know someone before sex is what people with discernment does, we just have to find those that believes in it.

What happened to taking this slow? I agree but we live in a fast pace fast food world where Hollywood and Harlequin indoctrinate society with movies like Serendipity telling people that if you dont fall in love within the first 30 seconds of meeting they are not the ones and keep searching for your soulmate.

As in living in the world with labels or without labels,Labels have always existed, except in the age of social media its just front and center.

Every generation since the Progressive age in America labeled people, you where either a Communist/red, or a capitalist.
Southerner vs Yankee
Beatnik, hippies, rebels

In the 80's, Rockers, punk rockers, skaters, jocks,geeks
today its just normal to label people and with the P.C culture its fashionable for people to invent new labels


Welcome to the new world my friends.

What happened to chivalry?
Frankly, the majority of people
who ask that question, have no
inkling what chivalry is.
Or, that is was based on a
very specific code of conduct,
known as Chivalric Code.
A very specific era in history.


Thanks to the frivolity of romance
novels written during the last 250 years,
what the majority believe to be
"chivalry", is actually behavior based on
the era of Cavaliers... And has absolutely
nothing to do with chivalry.

All those things are still practiced by many. Everyone's. Life does not evolve around the internet.

you sound a bit like a sad sack looking for a shoulder.

I don't need a shoulder I am just at the point in the 4 years that I have been single where I am down in the slumps where I hate but I will still keep pushing through and try to enjoy the single life again

Johnny, most people are lazy. They want instant gratification to go with their internet paper, instant coffee, and microwave meals.
To build a true relationship takes work. A willingness to make an effort. And let us not forget fear! All we get on the news, our government is fear. Human contact is dangerous, or so we are told.

And for those that don't know chivalry if French for the way of the horse. It is from when knights in armor rode horses. What most people think it means is Victorian BS.

It wasn't as easy, it required more effort, confidence, attempts, and directly dealing with failure.


It evolved to incorporate respect primarily for individuality rather than gender roles.


Nothing. That's what people have always complained about.
Look at how many books, movies, t.v. shows, advice columns, war diaries, etc. for the last hundred, 2 hundred years.
People never "got to know" each other before sex, marriage, family.
In many cases what caused strife in their relationships was "getting to know" themselves or the other person afterwards.

The "get to know" bs is myth.
Now it's all about self discovery, and using others in the pursuit of just getting to know yourself, which takes more than a lifetime.

When people say "get to know me first!" what they're really saying is "jump through hoops until I feel emotionally comfortable with you and can start taking you for granted, which I call trust."


The consequences to having kids out of wedlock or single parenthood are pretty much nonexistent. You could even say just shooting out babies willy nilly is actually subsidized over protecting family structures. At least in western cultures.

If there's no real risk to taking things fast, there's no reason to take things "slow."

Of course "slow" and "fast" in terms of relationship development and sex are subjective.


That never existed.
If people don't label each other, they label themselves.
"I'm a 28 year old virgin!"
"Okay, I'm a nerd."
"Don't call me gay, I'm pansexhysgender."
"I'm a good person."


Everyone is "good," has "good" morals, and are "polite," in their own head.
Even those that believe they are "keeping it real" think they're doing the "good" and "moral" and "polite/respectful" thing.