A compiling of the lamest and most awkwardly embarrassing real church signs. My faith hurts

"Go to church or the devil will get you."

"Abortion: Hitler would have loved it."

"Free coffee, everlasting life. Yes, membership has it's privileges."

"Staying in bed shouting "oh god" does not constitute going to church."

(sign) "Don't make me come down there." -God (extra lame )


"Don’t let your worries kill you; the church can help." (Freudian slip maybe)

You know you want them: Tax exempt fireworks

What can you do with your tongue?

Easter is more than something to dye for.

Nobody is beyond the reach of God. Closed Sundays.

Hey, Sniper! Jesus loves you. Repent and turn yourself in.

Everlasting Punishment. All are welcome.

One really origional that I DID like.

"God does not believe in atheists.....therefore, atheists do not exist."

At least I'M not posting my 'socks' to lure in a date.

funny. i love reading the latest signs as i drive by churches on my way to work. i love the last one about the atheists. too funny.

Well I am a lil hurt by this thread....ok over it. I just had a beautiful LED church sign put in and I am doing the sign ministry....I think there are some really great ones out there. I look at it this way....if someone is searching and they drive by our church and see a cute or funny lil saying on our sign...And they say, "Hey they have a sense of humor there." Im going to check it out.....well I would say mission accomplished.

Here are a few that I use

What do you have to loose.

New life in Christ is the ultimate makeover
Come to church and get a faith lift

"Coming" ready or not! – Jesus.

The best vitamin for a Christian is B1

If you’re living like there is no God you’d better be right

Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!

Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.

Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.

If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.

This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing? --------- (U R)

Under same management for over 2,000 years.

How about

Church parking only,

Here is one:

we do not forgive those who trespass against us!

Ok then, how about:

We are the lite church. We do not have lengthy sermons, we have shorter songs, and only 9 commandemtents.

Just wondering if anyone might possibly think that the sacred and Holy God, His plan for man, and His Church should be taken lightly, advertised with cute sayings, or exploited to get members into a church?

Its just a thought. Perhaps I am too serious, but what about something like:

The Bible has the answer to the question you are asking.

Why were you born--and--where are you going?

You were created for a purpose--do you know what it is?

Is your life really working without Him?

Do you want to know how to live?

That is great for anyone that is already saved billings but what about those seeking?

billings God has a sense of humor..just check out my picture..

your beautiful inside and out missy. God knew exactly what he as doing with you......

halloween party.

ok

thanks feral..

Well since a lot of christians celebrate halloween,why cant a chrch throw a halloween party?

Hallowe'en has it's roots elsewhere

Even though it seems like silly fun, it has a darker influence.

Not Christian in origin or practice.

But then again, we have Santa and Bunnies.

Go figure.

There's one down the street that's a sign and says "Looking for a SIGN from God...Well this is it.."
And to Wouldee: The Easter Bunny isn't Christian.It's named after a Pagan Fertility Goddess Ostra,let's face it no one is more fertile then bunnies.

We do , but it's called a 'harvest festival'. No scary for you.

lol lol thats so true I just went to Long Beach City College here in Calif and there are thousands of lil bunnies all over the campus. It was so cool......Thats what happens when two bunnies escape an experience 50 years before....

Tasslehoff,

I was being sarcastic

Easter=Ishtar=ashtaroth=beeeshtaroth . Her delusions are in the Bible.
First mention is in Judges 2:13

Christmas & Easter are also Pagan holidays, I don't celebrate any except for Passover, but to each their own.

Heh, I've got a pic somewhere where the sign says "The best position is on your knees", pretty funny to me anyway..lol. I saw another one the other day, not funny but it delivered what I thought was a good message, "we were called here to be witnesses not lawyers and judges";^]