I will never understand why people stay in relationships where they are unhappy. If you aren't happy move on, it's that simple. Stop trying to change people, if he/she loves you they'll change for you. Compromise this and compromise that, compromising your happiness is nonsense.

Some people take their relationships more serious than others do.

However, I don't believe in tring to change a man. Be sure he is right for you before any committed relationship.

Some people just date. That's different. Imo

Confused. It sounds 1 sided. "Stop trying to change people" but "they" will compromise this and that?

I think there is a certain amount of compromise in any relationship. Unless you’re dating your twin. That would be boring...as well as incestuous.

Compromise doesn’t usually require someone change. If they change, there would be no need for compromise.

One should love and accept another person as they are or else one can never be happy. Compromising would be easier too. Jmo

I'll try to explain it this way, You marry a woman. She loves to hang out with her buddies. She leaves you at home almost every weekend. You knew this about her when you married her. When you married her it didn't bother you. But, eventually, it started to bother you.

You're not trying to change her. You're just trying to get her to see your side. She says she really does love you. So, because she does love you more than her buddies, she compromises. She doesn't have to stop seeing her buddies. She just has to start spending more time with you. You're not trying to "change" her. But you are reaching a "compromise" that you both can live with and be happy with each other.

This is just one scenario. It goes back to something I've said many times. The real love for each other and the willingness to put the other first has to be there. If it isn't, there can be no compromise.

you develop a relationship with a person for what and who they are, that's what attracted you in the first place, if you attempt to change them they will eventually turn into the person you don't want anymore ?

People have to see their need for change in their lives themselves. That's the first step. Then take the steps to make that change, is second step. Imo

Why not?
Seems it could be pretty easy to understand.
Maybe they don't realize it's "the relationship" that is making them unhappy as opposed to just certain behaviors within the relationship.

Or IMO seems like saying "I will never understand why people don't just get rid of their stove/oven when they keep burning their hand on a burner or the temperature gauge isn't always accurate."

Eventually they might, but in the meantime they try to figure out ways not to burn themselves or work around the temperature fluctuations.

Relationships are more complex than ovens, so that takes more time (weeks, months, years) to figure out "there's no fixing this piece of crap, time to just get rid of it, I don't care what it costs to replace or if the next one is worse."


Not really.
That seems like saying "if you don't immediately kill the boss level on a video game or feel constantly happy when playing the video game (even entering your name at the sign in screen), just go get a new one. It's that simple."


I agree!
So we should just lock kids away somewhere and when they're in their mid 20's take them out and say "hey, we want you to be educated. If you love us you will change for us and go get an education...m'kay? But no pressure, as that would be trying to get you to change due to peer pressure."

Or if we're in a relationship and they use humor as a defense mechanism and we don't really figure that out about them until after the first year, we shouldn't try to communicate there is nothing to be defensive about, or point it out to them if they don't realize.
We should just sit back and let people do whatever they want with no feedback whatsoever.
We should just wait for magic "love" to come in and change them into wanting to change because of their love.


IMO compromising "happiness" for the potential sake of adult decisions isn't really "nonsense."
Maybe compromising your happiness, maybe long term happiness, or consistently suppressing/sacrificing it, solely for the sake of the others immediate, selfish, short term happiness, may be nonsense...

Hii

Kind of over-simplistic, I think.

If all your "relationships" are shallow and meaningless enough to you that you can "just move on, simple," then yeah, I can see the point of this.

If your relationship has more to it, such as a real marriage (as in people who get married because they actually know what it means, rather than thinking it's just an excuse for an expensive party), then "just move on, simple" is impossible. Because it is deeply painful, requires that your entire world outlook be changed, and that your entire day to day and moment to moment reason for living needs to be overhauled.

Add on, that many people are unhappy, and only THINK it's because they are with the wrong person. So they jump from one to the next, and remain empty inside.

WHY a person finds they are unhappy is often difficult for the person themselves to see clearly. Jumping to someone else as a "simple" response, has very often proven the old saying about "from the frying pan to the fire."