Welcome to the sand pit Jan! Join us in the forums. This is the best to be! Oh yea I mispel alot!!!!!
;^)

Well, I've felt loved.
Considering I haven't felt loved in a long time I guess that could be considered being "Spoiled"?
Considering that I love deeply, I guess I spoil a lot of women.

If I love you and you come home tired and I slip your shoes off and rub your feet to make you feel better, you're not spoiled, you're loved.

in most aspects of my life, i've tried my best to avoid
comparison of what was, with the present or what could be..
especially with a woman, every one of them is unique..

I've been in love with more than one woman, i'd be foolish
to say this one is better than that one or this one is
better than both of those two were...

i might compare that '63 chevy i had, with what i drive today,
but a woman of my past, with my woman now ? Never

Y'know, there are times when love is not the reason.
Especially when dating someone new. Before it becomes love.

There are people that feel any special attention is being spoiled.
I have had a number of dates tell me I spoil them when all I am actually doing is showing them the attention the date implies.

For a lot of people just getting common respect is seen as being spoiled. Many live constantly being ridiculed, put down, walked on and even psychologically abused by the people in their lives. They feel like what matters to them doesn't matter and when you give them common respect and attention, they see it as being spoiled.

When that occurs on a date it is a big flag for me when they proclaim they love me because I spoil them. Its a twisted sense of love that will fail with time.

Being treated with normal respect is not being spoiled.
Being treated with special attention because you are important to me and your happiness is important to me is being loved, not spoiled.

Being spoiled is being given things that you do not deserve.
Everyone deserves to be treated with respect.

I used to think that way.
I guess I've been alone too long.

When I date a new woman I spend active time clearing my expectations.
Those expectations are not fair to either one of us.
I want to experience 'her' and my expectations make it all fuddled up.

In one of the Lethal Weapon films Leo Getz explains the Froggy story.
Basically what it meant to me was that even tho I have loved others a great deal I shouldn't look for those qualities in a new love.
I should see the new love as not better or less, but just different.

I dated a woman that was a relatively recent widow (4 years).
She was constantly refering to my individual show of affection as to how her late husband expressed his.
It was very disturbing.
Even when I did something she never experienced before her reaction was, well, "He" never did that. It was plain to me she could never love me for me. I would constantly be judged against her ... "spoiled" moments.

Yes. I ate fire brick oven pizza & garlic bread knots in Long island & Mass.

I LOVE Tony's Brick Oven Pizza in Gulfport

Thanks, I agree. Sounds like you had that with your late husband, that's really nice

During part of my childhood I was raised by one of my Aunts. It was a brief exposure of normalcy for me. She and my Uncle had a good marriage, both treated each other with respect, love, and were very nurturing to each other. They showed each other that they mattered and that their needs and desires were important. There was no belittling each other or hierarchy as far as who was more important in the relationship.

That's what I would like in a relationship. I don't need someone to spoil me in such a way that I don't have to do anything around the house, just being spoiled with love and affection would suit me fine.

Although if he wants to, I definitely won't complain

i agree pisces i couldn't have said it better myself . that's exactly what i'm looking for . and i must say after all this time i've learned how to tell if it is really there . actions do speak louder than words .