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| Topic: The repeat of the ex.. | |
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I was with someone for 6 years and we havent been together for over a year now. And i have been doing ok, but recently he has been trying to talk to me like crazy, he even sent me flowers twice this week. I havent acknowledged anything he's done so far but he just wont stop..
anyone have opinions on this? |
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Need more info. why apart now, how was it when together, etc?
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Hey Jamie,I went through that game also,if you are over it and not interested,leave it alone. No need to reopen old wounds.
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We had a good relationship for most of the time...but the last 2 years were hell. and everything got out of hand. We both decided it wasnt going to work in the long run.
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You should know by now if you want him back or not. Of course you still have feelings for him, you always will. But can you live with him? Do you want him to be the father of your children?? Look inside yourself for the answer.
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He's your "Ex" for a reason. That doesn't mean people can't change but that is very rare.
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Need more info. why apart now, how was it when together, etc? I AGREE WITH OLDSAGE.IF HE HANT HIT YOU,VERBALY ABUSED YOU,OR CHEATED,,,GIVE HIM ANOTHER TRY. 
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"Out of hand"?
If he is an abuser, forget it. If he cheated, why? Still need more details, awfully vague. |
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ok maybe i should be more clear on this.... I do still love him and i always will but its not about giving him another try, i dont want that and i already know.
The place i am in now is a good place and i have been doing good. I tried to ignore him when he first started trying to contact me but now its getting to be too much. I guess i just dont want to be mean, its a hard situation. And the more i aviod him the more i feel like a cold person. |
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Just do not play his game Jamie,leave it alone,he wil get the message and just go away.
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Jamie that is very hard to deal with...been there done that...you really need to look inside yourself and decide do you really want to go backwards...
He became your ex for a reason...those reasons dont just go away... There is nothing wrong with being cold if that will keep you safe in the long run...You have to take care of yourself... |
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IF you are avoiding contact so you don't have to argue, OK.
If you are avoiding contact, because you don't know what you want, OK. Problem with not handling the problem openly, YOU will never get totally over him. I think you need to find the strength to tell him; "IT IS OVER, LEAVE ME ALONE." |
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thank u all
sage..u are right i am avioding contact just to keep away from the confrontation. It seemed to be the easiest way at first. But not it isnt so easy.. |
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You need to be fair to him and you. if its over tell him, dont let thing dangle. unfair to both of you.
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Continue to not talk, but write him a note & explain your position. Your nice & safe, no confrontation & you will feel better for, won't feel like your hiding.
Need more ideas, drop me a line. |
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Look, there are many variables to explore here.. If the guy hurt you in the past its up to you to give him a second chance.. You say the last 2 yrs were hell? Why would that change now?
There are a lot of sick people out there... The way i look at it is that most of your intimacy issues come from our childhood experiences... |
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I dunno...I have the crazy notion some people can be friends after a break up. Obviously not all the time, but if you still care for eachother than it couldn't hurt to try. And if things don't work out as being friends, then it could come to a better, mutual goodbye. But if you feel that doing that will ruin the good place you're in now, then don't. Cause it'd be silly to mess that up.
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I dunno...I have the crazy notion some people can be friends after a break up. Obviously not all the time, but if you still care for eachother than it couldn't hurt to try. And if things don't work out as being friends, then it could come to a better, mutual goodbye. But if you feel that doing that will ruin the good place you're in now, then don't. Cause it'd be silly to mess that up. thanks..i agree but its getting harder to keep doing this..it doesnt seem like he's gonna stop until i talk to him. |
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Do what you need to, just keep yourself safe.
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Confrontation is that last thing you need.
As said previously, send him a note or email thanking him for the flowers. Be sure to let him know it is over and has been for a long time. You really don't need to reopen the old wounds. You know in your heart if it could work out or not. Also to repeat...he is an ex for a reason. Be strong! M |
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