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| Topic: Love, in love, vs I love you but am not in love | |
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Life is made of moments. The feelings I have towards someone else is established moment by moment. My memory of those moments carry thru those feelings when that person is not around me. When I feel love for someone its the feeling I have while we are spending moments together. This is expressed by the term "I...Love...You". A direct relation to the feelings I feel at that moment towards that person. If I experience the "I...Love...You" feelings the majority of moments I am with a person, it indicates that I am "In Love" with that person. That feeling I get when I am "In Love" with someone carries the love across those moments when that person is not sharing a moment with me or during those moments when I am not feeling the "I...Love...You". The re-lasting-ship 'breaks' when I feel less "I...Love...You' moments with that person causing a lesser degree of "In Love" perpetuation. The thing I ask myself is... Am I 'in love' with this person or am I 'in love' with the idea of being in love? "I...Love...You" is an outward expression of feelings towards another. "In Love" is an inward feeling that keeps the I...Love...You happening when the other is not with you at the moment or when you are not feeling the moment of love with that person. In Love, carries the love when it can't be expressed to that person in the moment. Part of emotional maturity is the ability to recognize and control your emotional states. Love is determined by the amount of moments one feels I...Love...You verses the amount of moments of I...Like...You, I...Hate...You, I...Am...Indifferent...To...You and all the other feelings you get during any particular string of moments. When you close up shop, sitting alone and reflecting on your time spent with that person, When you feel more I...Love...You moments it sways the memory to the In Love with that person ideal. You start saying to yourself "I think I'm In Love with him, I think I'm In Love with her". You focus on the memories of the I...Love...You and ignore the other moments. When the "In Love" is forced, relationships fail because the delusions of "I...Love...You" cannot carry the love to the next moment. Then there is the fact that we all feel things at different degrees, at different times. I...Love...You is an expression of love that is directional I>>>Love>>>You. In Love is also directional...I>>>Am>>>In>>>Love>>>With>>>You. An expression from You towards another. The only feelings you can ever be 100% sure of are your own feelings. Those feelings can be monitored by being aware of them in the moment. We all exist in the moment whether we want to realize it or not. Wow. I think this is the best explanation ever on this subject. Thank you!  You're welcome. People have a knack for making simple things complicated, I don't know why? Sometimes we all need reminded of the simplicity to bring things back into focus. Emotions and feelings don't have to be complicated. Understanding how we feel in the moment allows us to truly reflect on those moments. When reflection is based in delusion (fantasy), our assessments get complicated because there are inconsistencies. Inconsistencies cause turmoil within, which causes stress. Stress interrupts the truth of the moment. Its a viscous cycle that self-perpetuates. Emotional maturity doesn't mean you have no emotions, it means that you understand the emotions you do have and place correct values on them so your inner-self has a true representation of the moments of your life during reflection. This allows you to make sound judgements that enhance your life's moments with clarity. Being over-whelmed by any emotion is being powerless in self-control. You can be overwhelmed in love which blinds you to the reality of the moment. You can be overwhelmed in anger which blinds you to acceptance. A person with emotional maturity still feels anger but is in control of themselves and recognizes it for the emotion it is. If you allow one emotion to control you, chances are other emotions do too. It begs the question of "Do I act based on the emotion or based on reasoning?". |
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Edited by
Pepinofruit
on
Tue 12/05/17 11:07 AM
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I tend to lean and AGREE more with "soufiehere "
and partly with "Tom" on Simplicity & Practicality. Yes, simple things are often the best when done, said or expressed the simple & direct way. " soufiehere" Quote: 'I love you but I am not in love with you.' ^^^Designed purely to escape. The 'love' word is thrown around a lot. This can be good or bad. If someone says 'I love you' that is nice but hardly worth a lifetime of cleaning toilets. However, if they say 'I am in love with you' it is beyond their control and you might have the complete package..they have surrendered their soul to you. (And they might help with the cleaning.) " soufiehere " Unquote: ****************************************************** YES INDEED wise woman, you nailed simply hard 
Put it this way, that's MY WAY 
1)- "I LOVE YOU BECAUSE I NEED YOU". or, 2)-"I NEED YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU". Which one sentence makes you feel more secure?
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Are foreigners allowed to join the chat? who is the host? but with google translation ... mxb you may post in any thread you choose. the host would be crystal who started the thread you may post but google may not post 
just kidding translate as much as you need |
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Are foreigners allowed to join the chat? who is the host? but with google translation ... mxb you may post in any thread you choose. the host would be crystal who started the thread you may post but google may not post
just kidding translate as much as you need Thank you. Mr. Eric22, 
In terms of love, I will be 2 words (3 can be) and I must be one. because, |
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In love.. and ..I love you..
What happened to can't we just be friends.. Or.. I really liked what just happened (but) Or.. Let's keep in touch this was real Or Let's do this again real soon..Wink. Or . Sure I love you ..I love everyone. Or. I love you like a brother or sister.. Or.. Omg I love what you do to me and the way you make me feel.. Or I think I love you but I'm not really sure if I'm in love with you.. if that makes any sense at all... Wink...Wink... |
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here is a saying:
"the one who falls from the roof, but he knows well ..." I think this summarizes everything. there is such a word here. 
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so;
"love is experienced, not written, not written. " they say: tea or coffee, who knows their taste? Of course, those who drink it, those who drink more know more. |
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love for a mother
brother, child or sister is different but maybe the best ; it’s pure, sacred And lasts forever even after their gone.. it is a love carried in spirit we live in a small world the taste of water is wonderful when you drink it alone often times we share a glass of water with someone less fortunate priceless. |
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maybe there are various types of love;
-mother, father, brother, love, -A love we know. or; |
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love is a life
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love and love are different things (here love and love are described differently). [I can not express well because I do not speak English.]
* for example; a man loved a woman, or a woman loved a man. I think this is love. then this love is great; enters the heart, enters the heart It is full love. These two people always think of each other. *** but |
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mother, father, sister, country, animal, flower and nature love is different.
it does not leave the same effect in people. *** [that I did not read what I wrote in the books, I'm looking at my own life.)))] *** I hope google was good interpreter for me ...))) |
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-google is a text but it translates so well. - as if I was written on the ground, I tell you, it is not a lie. - maybe not google, this article is master of the author, I do not know it. thanks google, thanks blondey11 ****** * You have revealed your knowledge, * You share chemical or medical results, * and commented on this. ////////////////////// I can speak freely because I understand your writing well. / about love, I can totally agree with this, / various "sero mediator" substances rise in the blood of the lovers, / there is a soul, this is different, you can not measure, / most importantly, there are those who have suffered love affairs, I think they describe better love. ...... I have to go )))) |
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Hello crystal ... I love you but I am not in love with you .... are probably the most common words to use to end a relationship ... you are right .. we should create a new word .. To love someone involves your heart and emotions .. we know it has many layers To be in love with someone involves a chemical high which keeps attraction and arousal alive ... passion.. romantic intimacy .. excitement are part of that arousal .. it is "arousal" that is missing from other forms of love .. this does not mean just sexual arpusal .. but heightened emotions .. and feelings that draw you to be dedicated to someone 
Interestingly but not surprising .. when it comes to being in love ..research shows men have a tendency to prioritise "arousal" whereas women favour "dedication " There is believed to be a two year timeframe where "arousal" peaks then dwindles .. this is seen as a time when many relationships will fail or end . ..for some it will happen sooner .. others later .. perhaps with lessening chemicals becomes more awareness of priorities and a yearning for something that is missing in a relationship . Yeah, I've heard a similar thing from dating & relationship coaches, although they referred to 'arousal' with 'desire'. That you need both love and desire, and that indeed men value desire more than love itself. Kind of weird in a way that men are wired that way. They must have quite the clash going on on the inside. I take it this arousal/desire thing is mostly from ancient times, to make them impregnate as many as possible to get strong offspring. Primal instinct, probably from the reptilian brain. Yet, when men are asked what they want, almost all of them crave a commitment, for which it seems they have to overcome their urge to have as many as possible. Maybe they should sign up for a lobotomy?
Must admit it has been intriguing me for years how this works in the male brain. Because there are plenty of men who do commit, so what makes them flick that switch? Sidetracking here, cos it's off-topic from my own OP, lol, but I do find this very interesting! |
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""Maybe they should sign up for a lobotomy? laugh"" you want them guys to get even dumber???? 
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Edited by
SparklingCrystal 💖💎
on
Wed 12/06/17 06:59 AM
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""Maybe they should sign up for a lobotomy? laugh"" you want them guys to get even dumber????
Haha, not really, lol. Okay, maybe just high standard pinpointed laser surgery. I mean, it could be just the one brain cell that causes all this trouble, haha. That, or maybe I should just turn and become a dyke. Which now has me wondering if gay women experience this stuff too, coming from the more masculine energy partner. I should've studied psychology, dammit. . . |
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Must admit it has been intriguing me for years how this works in the male brain. Because there are plenty of men who do commit, so what makes them flick that switch?
I am a commitment oriented man. Wasn't always that way tho. For me, it was responsibility that flicked that switch. I had found someone that made me realize it was my responsibility to dedicate myself to her. Perhaps I was tired of the 'fling' relationships? Till that moment, it was all about me(Eat, **** & Party attitude). When it changed it became about us. Having children further solidified the change in me. On my side of the family there were very few divorces. So few that to this day, I can't name one divorce (not that they didn't happen, I was just not aware). Divorces and affairs were dirty tabboo talk in my family. I broke a family tradition by getting one. I was also a commited, dedicated man to my employers. I believe it coincided with my commitment to my marriage. One reinforced the other. When I accepted the inevitable outcome of divorce my commitmemnt to work had already failed me because of my health. I adopted the Concern + Commitment + Dedication = Stupidity line of thinking which allowed me to break my long lasting marriage commitment. I do however, understand that commitment is vital in a relationship but it has to be a two-way thing. |
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Thinking a bit more on this I feel a desire to add a bit more...
In my younger days, without much commitment, I lied a lot. I missed appointments, bills were never paid, I made a whole lot of excuses to justify what I considered was my freedom to do as I pleased. If it wasn't important to me, I was more likely to just blow it off. I don't really recall the moment when integrity entered my life (military service???)? That's what happened tho. I realized my personal integrity. Perhaps I made just one too many people I cared about cry because of me? It was my personal integrity that caused me to have commitment towards others. The responsibility of doing the right thing, for the right reasons. Perhaps that is why my commitment to the wrong woman took so long for me to realize? I was so intent on my own integrity and responsibility I failed to see there was an error in my choices. I carried the marriage with forgiveness and excuses always thinking it could be worse. I existed as husband and father and forgot to be Tom. Part of the difficulty of my personality change was figuring out where I stood in the scope of things. I spent a lifetime "in service" to others. It caused me to go into a period of very low self-esteem and depression. As I climb out of that suffocating pit of despair, I realize that it is my integrity that allows me to now see people as they are. I've learned it wasn't the dedication or the commitment but assessment that was faulty. I have become more selective in those I commit to. I now look for reciprocation. I'm proof that one-sided relationships, no matter the commitment and dedication, do not work. |
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what is love?
this should not be the description, This is the characteristic of love. love's description must change according to man for example; - there is a mutual emotional attraction, and comes from the heart, - lovers do not realize at first that they are in love, - because they are proud at first, they do not tell each other, - when there is a resentment between them, when they make a mistake they feel very sorry, at this point they realize that they now love each other, this is the beginning, - when they realize the starting point; or they finish their love, Yada increases their love even more, .................................................. ... I tried to write something to myself. *** (it is not always humorous, I have to talk seriously, I hope Google has made the necessary translations) |
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You will appreciate that; mother, father, sister, nature love. - this is very beautiful and holy - there are differences between them, - God created both of them, - they have different effects on the body, *** -If you have one meal (me), -the tea, your coffee savers (me), - your travels (me), -The definition of differences (it is me) you can increase it. these are different. they have different effects on the body. ****************** I have experienced all of them. I experienced the very first one **************** I wanted to share |
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