I agree...I give my kids everything they need mentally, physically, and emotionally! At this point he may as well not even exist! It would probably screw them up at this point if he decided to plsy a role in their life....

I understand what you mean about them not being there and not paying the support, but until you go into court and have the judge remove the rights, their rights are still there and there is nothing you can do to prevent it. A perfect example is a neighbor of mine. she kept the kids when she kicked her husband out and filed for divorce. She refused to let him take them anywhere because "they were her kids". She went to jail for refusing to let him take his kids because there was no court order yet preventing his doing so. And before someone says anything, it does nto matter wether you are married or not anymore most places. a parent is a parent until the court says otherwise. And you CAN go to jail and lose custody yourself (which my neighbor just did yesterday to the father) if you do anything to prevent the father (or mother) from exercising her rights. You HAVE to go to court and have them rmoved in the court.

And dont get me wrong, I agree that there are too many people out there that do not pay their support, and refuse to no matter what. But you STILL have to deal with it in a legal matter which means going through the courts. and if they do not pay support the judge WILL remove all contact, so dont worry about that issue. In the end most times court is just a formality you have to go through, but it is STILL a formality.

well daniel the judge gave me full custody and dad every other wkend visitation rights...no matter if the children wanted to go with him or not...until the first child support pmt was missed (they never even started) then all bets were off according to the judgement...over the yrs the prosecutor of my county has tried to bully me into pressing "deadbeat dad" charges, but what good would that do for my children??? the last i knew that particular prosecutor was in jail for extortion
touche'

I did go through the legal system. I got sole legal and physical custody of my girls with visitation at my discretion. The few times he has shown up on my door step I have allowed him to come in and visit the girls. But for the most part he just stays away! And the child support he is ordered to pay is a joke he never will.....

Are you kidding?my ex hasnt seen his son in a year..equal?bah humbug.i am the parent because i am parenting.he is a check.period the end because he chose to be a check.i went thru the court system also and he was suppossed to get his kid every other weekend and every wednesday.we mediated that.welll has never followed that since the divorce was finalized and now nothing.which is fine because my son does not need to learn about treating women from him.
Anyway,I would get your child support or get him to sign away his rights.That way if you meet a man with a full set of balls and things work out,he would have the option to adopt.
I think if men had to forc a kid out their dipstick there would be a lot less of this kinda bulls hit.

ps .i would let him visit because we have joint custody even though his inconsistent visiting is a giant mind **** to my kid cause my kid loves him but i seriously hope he gets hit by a bus.not bitter just mad

I do think you need to legally name him the father...that way you have no worries. Also I do believe you need to get his medical background. Do you have any clue what that might be? I don't think people even consider peoples medical background...trust me, there might be something that you really need to know.
If you feel you really don't want him around, thats between you and him. I think you both need to work that out...you both need to figure that one out...just to be fair to him, I think you should give him that option!! He is the father, if he wants to be there...leave it up to him.
I wish you luck...just be open because there will be another life involved!!

Take care of the child, and make him pay child support. His actions are his responsbility, whether he wants them or not.

Owe you an apology, guess I was half asleep when I first read this.

Think you need to keep track of the father, get support from him & offer the chance of contact between the child & him.
Any man that CHOSES to not take proper care in having sex, needs to be held responsible for his actions. I had a vasectomy at 23, had 2 children & knew that they were enough.
Not right to cry FOUL with no care taken by the man.
Pet peeve of mine, MEN need to be held accountable.
Takes 2 to raise a child.

To answer the question about his medical background. Yes I do know it. We were dating off and on for a few months. Plus I am a nurse and I pay attention to things like that. As far as giving him a chance to be a part of the child's life I did and he said he chooses not to. So I figure I can not make him but I will keep anything about him for my child. As far as the courts go I do not see them making him pay support when I make more than he does. I know they take that in to consideration. I guess what ever it would be is better than nothing. Then that would keep some kind of contact with him and that would be better for the child. Just a lot of things to think about. Thanks again for everyone's input. :)

OK I know what your going through. I consider myself as a professional Baby momma. See You love your child .You know you can do it all alone no matter what will always be the father. so raise your kid. let that dead beat know whats going on good and bad Always can file child support, he may not pay have have him give up his rights but the DNA will never change. No you are not looking dumb or desperate your being a mom.Because even when your baby get 10 years old he or she will want to know why is dad not around. That's when you will honestly be able to say . You will have to ask him that question on your own,here is a number address or even a picture for jail that you can share with your kid. no matter how self absorb the man is once that child grow up and be able to confront him. he will not be able to lie to that kid. Keep track of that man for no other reason than for your kid. so when that baby say mommy call daddy you can. When that baby draw a cute picture on fathers day let the baby mail it. He can run but he will never ever hide. Believe me allow your kid to grow up to see for themselves that dad is not available because if not you will be the villain to that kid. I Know you can do it on your own it is very possible.

I completely agree! I have raised my 13 year old by myself. His father doesn't even know he exists. It hurts my son but I didn't want him to go through the possible rejection of his dad saying your not my son.