Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit

I'll slap your teeth down your throat and DARE you to swallow them

HUNGRY ENOUGH TO EAT THE SOUTH END OF A NORTH BOUND SKUNK

ILL BEAT YOU LIKE A RED HEADED STEPCHILD

Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits

Well, if that don’t put pepper in the gumbo!

What up?

What's shakin?

If there is no life outside Earth, the universe is a huge waste of space

And my favorite that is not really a phrase but just a word

Yup

well that just dills my pickle!

BEAM ME UP SCOTTY,THERES NO INTELLIGENT LIFE HERE

That’s about as useful as a trap door on a canoe!

SLIPPERY AS SNOT ON A DOORKNOB

busier than a one-legged man at a butt kickin contest

MADDER THAN A 1 LEGGED WAITRESS AT THE IHOP

mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees

He/she is a pure waste of oxygen

THE GREATEST TRICK THE DEVIL EVER PULLED, WAS CONVINCING THE WORLD HE DID NOT EXIST.

F**k Me Runnin!

What it dew!!!!
What the bidniz iz?!?!?!
Waz happenin!?!?!?!
**** the Bull****!!!
Ey YO!!!!
Puto!!!!

If you can fake sincerity, you can fake pretty much anything.

You think your dad wants to kill you because you’re so ugly? Be grateful, anywhere else in the animal kingdom, your parents would have eaten you at birth

Did you get a raise, because then you’re a whore. Or didn’t you, because then you’re a stupid whore

Someone’s gonna be miserable sometime. Accept it. That’s how I stay so happy

I’m a jerk to everyone. Best way to protect yourself from lawsuits

Rational arguments don’t usually work on religious people. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be religious people

you sound much more intelligent with your mouth shut!!!!