ummm..nooo.. not FWB.. they like dating just one person.. they just don't want to be tied down to a full-time going somewhere relationship... they don't really sleep around... but they just want to keep their options open to date multiple people.. on the hopes that one of them will be the perfect match problem is you don't know that until you date someone... and it takes a little while to really get to know them if they're going to be a good fit... a lot of the time 60% is a good fit.. but they feel like maybe 85 or 90% is still out there... and they don't want to settle but it's same time they don't want to miss out on spending time with somebody that is nice and makes him feel good they just don't want to marry them..lol.. or get tied down into something deep and heavy

I agree with Duttoneer. What your friends seem to be seeking is a FWB ( friends with benefits) .
But think about it Doc. How many of us (both men and women) have developed romantic feelings for friends we NEVER had sex with, or had friends develop romantic feelings for us ? There’s a reason for that.

Feelings can become romantic and intense with platonic friends, without so much as a kiss being shared between them!

The problem with FWBs is that the friendship often intensifies more than planned , and when you couple that with the passionate/tender sex , it can easily begin to feel like a relationship to ONE person, DESPITE the original intention and statement of detachment, and very often, one person eventually develops a hope/yearning for stability/commitment .

You cant expect to feed into the “relationship feeling”, with regular texting , mutual sharing of lives, date nights, etc and expect the other person to think it’s a sex arrangement and nothing more. Its confusing to the other person, no matter how clearly you stated your FWB intentions at the beginning.

But the truth is that the guy in the FWB often feeds into the “relationship vibe”, even if he knows its misleading to the woman because he is fully enjoying the feeling of nurturing, connection and stability that the BLURRED LINE in the FWB provides , and as Crystal alluded, they want to enjoy the benefits of a relationship, without the responsibility of commitment. (And yes. I know some women are guilty of doing the same thing.)But most of the times, its simply not realistic to expect benefits without responsibility.


Let me take the time to acknowledge that there are some happy exceptions to the rule, and some couples are successfully able to navigate the FWB for months and even years, but I venture to say that they are in the minority.

So to answer your OP “ how can you be open and honest about casual relationships... without the other person getting offended ?
You often can’t, and honesty is not a key to your personal gain anyway.You practice honesty because its the right thing to do , regardless of whether the end result suits you or not.

Additionally Doc.. Arent we ALL subjected to the trial by error process of finding a partner who fundamentally wants the same thing we do? Its a long an arduous search for ALL of us whether we are looking for a life partner, a temporarily committed partner, or an FWB, but shouldnt the underlying principle ALWAYS be honesty?

So Keep looking for an FWB who wants what you want, and practice the same honesty yourself that you require from her.

Totally agree with Blondey.

I do think it is important that you match your actions and behaviour up with that. Don't do things that would indicate 'more than casual'.
And that's where it will likely start to go wrong, cos I think men love to revel in the 'more than casual' they get of a woman, they just don't want to invest emotionally themselves.
Then men say "But I did tell her!!"
Sure you did. But if your actions and behaviour don't match the words, it won't matter. Then she'll think things are changing.
So if you want casual only, keep it casual only, and accept you won't get the perks either. You can't win 'em all, but that's your choice.

(Cocks my head in dog-like confusion)

Are you saying that while you date several women simultaneously to figure out which one is your soulmate, that you will NOT be sleeping with all of them as part of the auditioning process?

ding ding ding we have a winner

all rewards but none of work
all the fun but none of responsibility
with understanding that I will always be looking for the BBD
and will throw you to curb at a moments notice

Perhaps it's my dysfunction of understanding. The topic seems to be about keeping it casual. Meaning dating, not a relationship. For to be any tying of down to happen, that would mean there would be some exclusivity spoken about a possible relationship. Feelings would be discussed, and a decision would be made.
Otherwise, it should just be dating, with either party open to seeing other people. When either person has made a decision to try and pursue a relationship, that is when the casualness disappears. You're either in a relationship, or looking for someone else to date.

The OP already stated on page 1 that even when a casual relationship is proposed and agreed upon, the women still end up falling in love and requiring more. In an FWB, its highly common for one person in the arrangement to fall in love , and start acting diferently even if their pride doest allow them to admit that their feelings have evolved into more...