Why are men scared of single mom's. Is it because they fear they have to support them. Is it fear that they know that their priorities are with there child or children? Or do they not like the idea that they aren't free to do anything at the drop of a hat because of their priorities with their child or children. What is it???? ???

i think this depends on the mindset of a man,but you are right in pointing out a general feel.

Hi I am educated I have heard many situations about relationships
heres answers some mothers end up mothering their husbands
wear this do that don't say that don't do that go here don't go there WE need!you should!our baby needs attention!Many men feel like the woman used his .... to make a baby and wallet to get money from.
it leads any man to want out of the situation and just go and be free and tell himself what to do it happens all the time after a child is born the Mothers Mindset changes into a have to do mindset
all a child needs is cleaned fed and kept safe loved and cuddled till the age of 4 to 6 thinking too much leads the mom child and dad
to be stressed and overworked feeling and fed up with starting a family one day old to 4 or 6 fed cuddled cleaned and kept safe is all a growing human needs and a little speech spoke to and stuff so the young human can learn language after a child is born all the man in the family needs is the same treatment from the woman that she naturally treated him as before the kid was born most men leave a family after being shocked by the MOM/Wife all the sudden the mother side of herself starts I think you should you need to and all sorts of shocking sugestions get thought up by her and told to the Man/Husband,father Life treatment of oneanother should be no different just cuz theres a growing human in the house.Some people after the birth of a child Mindset changes into a Questionfull now what to do type of constant thought way of living life Some people after birth of a child just calmly take car of the growing kids needs with no questions or change of mindsets and no change in treatment to each others devotion to the love that was felt prior to the pregnant now What should we do with our relationship life question that some people slip into All that really happens is theres a growing human to provide for Relationship treatment should not change at all Love ect....stays the same toward oneanother some people don't catch themselves thinking up questions after a kid is born thanks

you are dating or talking to little boys, you are a beautiful mommy and a real man wouldn't be afraid please don't beat yourself up when it's the right time it will happen. keep the faith

I believe humans go through different stages in life and often seek someone who is going through the same stage at the same time

For someone who has not had their own kids yet, they may just be seeking someone they can start fresh with

for someone who does have kids, they may be nervous about how those kids may interact or feel about more children being in their parents lives

or

it could be any number of the op reasons and any number of others




the bottom line is that not everyone will be at a compatible stage of experience or maturity and we shouldn't take that personal or try too hard to analyze it, but just take it as a sign to move on until we find someone who is...

Simple economics?

There is an ample supply of women without kids, plenty of alternatives to single moms.

The ultimate benefit (true love, companionship, relationship, bonding, etc., whatever) is the same whether it's a woman with a kid or without.
At the beginning of dating, a single mother is just as much a stranger as the single childless kid. Equal potential.

There is greater inherent risk in dating a single mother.
Hurt her, you hurt her kid too.

There are greater costs (opportunity) with dating a single mother.
Logistics are more difficult. Learning to communicate takes longer.
Separating and seeing the woman as an individual, thereby getting to know her and her consistent behavior as a whole person, rather than as an extension of her kid(s), takes longer.
The longer communication takes = higher potential for miscommunication = higher risk of failure along the way.


If I were to say to you "I'll give you 1 million dollars, but you have to choose 1 of 2 tests. 1 is to go find a store that sells hoops, then jump through 4 hoops for 3 months, the other test is to go online to amazon and immediately buy hoops, then jump through 4 hoops set on fire, where one misstep also sets these kids on fire, and you have to do it for 2 years," which would you choose, which would be the more attractive option?

What would you say if, while you're trying to jump through the non firey hoops, the president of the Firey Hoop Child Immolation company kept calling you a coward for not buying and jumping through their hoops?

I am intrested

You are making a mistake, in assuming or declaring that it is FEAR that causes some men to avoid single mothers. In younger people especially, reasons for ALL of their choices are much simpler than fear. Heck, the reason why many young women end up AS single mothers, is because younger people are more likely to act without completely thinking through the consequences.

Your opening list of CALM reasons why many younger males, who are mainly after something OTHER than child-rearing as a form of enjoyment, is pretty good. When you are a young single mother especially, you would be wise to be MORE cautious about the males who eagerly come after you, than to be critical of the ones who shy away. Mainly because, as I pointed out above, many younger people in general, aren't likely to appreciate all that is involved with entering into the world of an entire family. I've run across many instances, where the mother would later complain that the men who chased after her, weren't at all AFRAID of the child, they were unfortunately entirely OBLIVIOUS to it, and wanted to completely ignore it in all their calculations.

yes

All of the above or sometimes its just a matter of preference.

But there are men out there who have no problems with dating singlee moms . You just have to meet the right guy for you

i honestly prefer dating women with children. they're less selfish. sucks breaking up with an innocent little heart though. i cried for s month when this lady and i split. i lived with those kids....fell in love with them.....and five years later i have to heal three times the mount love. was like breaking up with 3 people at once

This topic brings bad memories. So Ill just say this who you do get with does affect the kids. Don't fall into lust rather than love. I want to kill my old step dad, because now I have a little sister who might want to figure out who her real dad is. I stay away from women with kids because right now I wouldn't be able to do much other than be there. Im not saying geting with someone with a kid would be bad but there are a ton of emotional hoops that have to be jumped through. If you do end up married and having a child of your own with the other child. You will have to figure out if he will be the kind to play favourites. I steer clear because its a lot of emotional baggage that im not ready to handle right now. Like everyone else said be careful who you go for, or ends up going for you. You could end up hurting things worse with the wrong person.

im not scare

Not all men are scared to date single mothers, i myself have dated a few single mothers myself in the past personally and we got along great even (including the child afterwards) and the relationship ended (as some do unfortunately) and we even stayed friends though in the end, but as for others maybe they just don't like kids overall *shrugs* who knows would have to ask them personally I would think ma'am

Why are men scared of single moms? For some men it may be the fear of the unknown. They may be looking to date someone but hadn't anticipated children being in the picture. They may wonder what their responsibilities will be concerning the child or children both emotionally and financially. Instead of talking it out, they just run. Sadly, some men are selfish and may not want anything to do with "another man's children" or may not want you to share your attention with the children. I do know a couple where the woman had three children when she starting dating the man who became her future husband. He was always accepting of her children and is a great Dad to them. So, it can work with the right guy. Best wishes for you and your children. PS: I also like msharmony's answers. She definitely has a good head on her shoulders. Mark

Good question!

..umm
. Pretty much!! the drop of the hat thing..and the idea of having to have a relationship with Someone's Child...
Especially if the children are young..
My boys are old enough to be left alone on their own..sooo.. the thought of having to be tied down to someone with young children not super exciting..

I'm a father of two and I have custody of my kids . I sympathize with single mothers because I live it to .

When the woman's stop the think about mans are bank Automat, we will stop the scare to relationship with single mums!

Great question. It is similar to why do men have children with women and then walk out without a backwards glance. I think the reason is because raising someone else's children is a huge responsibility for some men. It is scary for the man and for the children. It can also be a life altering decision for everyone involved depending on the circumstances. Its not an easy situation because there are babies involved and it is a lot of pressure. Its not always fear. Maybe they just do not want children at all.