I believe you overlooked what point he was making. Have you ever been married or in a long relationship? Did you just decide one day to start having feelings for that person, or did they just develop over time??? He is merely saying that it is an unconscious decision at times. The ones who fall into love!

I dont believe in fate.. i believe you create your own life, things dont happen for a reason.. if you want something to happen you make it happen. we all look at life differently and im not critzing anyone about that.. im onlly 22 and been thro alot of rough times in my life.. if you would walk in my shoes youd understand.

I dont believe in fate.. i believe you create your own life, things dont happen for a reason.. if you want something to happen you make it happen. we all look at life differently and im not critzing anyone about that.. im onlly 22 and been thro alot of rough times in my life.. if you would walk in my shoes youd understand.

Also, I never try to control anyone! That is a sure way to end up lonely. Don't know where that was said.

I think you misunderstood me bro. I never said anything about "Love at first site". Of course there are about a million mental decisions that can be made prior to falling in love with someone. I'm saying when the moment presents itself, you realize that you're falling for someone, you can't put your foot down and make a "mental decision" to NOT have feelings of love for that person. What a lot of people don't realize about online dating is that it's ten times easier to get closer to someone, IF you let them (Yes..that would be a mental decision). But like I said, if you've figured out a way to mentally "turn these feelings of love" off when they present themselves, let us know. A heart is a heart bro.

I do appreciate your replies. They are helping. REALLY!

lol i doubt mine are.. but your welcome.

Exactly Teeshina

"I believe you overlooked what point he was making. Have you ever been married or in a long relationship? Did you just decide one day to start having feelings for that person, or did they just develop over time??? He is merely saying that it is an unconscious decision at times. The ones who fall into love!"

As a matter of fact my dear, I have rarely been in a relationship that lasted less than a year. And yes, I was married for twelve years and spent three with her before we tied the knot. So I do have a little experience with matters of the heart and how much damage can be done if it's dolled out easily Just saying you have to protect your own heart, no one else will. Love when it is not returned hurts like hell. Isn't it worthy of all the protection you can afford it? No one likes to be hurt. Just be careful out there.

This may sound bad but with this whole online dating thing, sometimes that is a chance you have to take. I met someone on one of these things before and we had a great relationship... until 8 months later when he cheated on me and I found out through that very same site we met on. Hang in there.

He was probably just some Loser sharpening his game on a safely-distant target. Hate to say it, but I know guys like that.

The first person who responded nailed it.

You gotta be careful and take things slowly.

Thanks guys, I appreciate all that you have to say. I hope everyone has a better experience than I. LOL!

You have some fun out there girl. Just be careful. There are both nice guys and gals out there, but unfortunately, there is also a lot of freaks and weirdos and people whom care for no one but themselves. Got to weed them out before you put your heart on the line.Protect thyne heart and be safe. You'll find your someone someday. Don't be in a rush. When you are, you can make mistakes that come back and bite you. You seem like a sweet thing and I'd hate to see you have to go through any emotional pains that were unnecessary. Remember, good things come to those who wait! Just a small fraction of advise from an old fart. Take care of yourself

Look it takes years to fall in love,what you have encountered is lust,or a what I like to call phantom love...better now than in years after all u know is that person.Then it really hurts!

We don't know if someone is being honest just like in real life go with your gut if its telling you the guy is full of bs or if the guy is honest go with it.

I feel the same way about myself!!!

That is exactly what I am going to do. I am going to have fun on this thing and meet as many men as I can. I am all about making new friends, and who knows it might just happen one of these days.

Thanks for the advice you all are great!

I don't know about years but I do know that it's false to rush to thing such as love. I'm the most spontaneous person I know but when it comes to love, I take it suuuuper sloow. I agree lust is always mistaken for love but is there really a way to tell if its just lust? I'm thinking time is the only answer. Teeshina, as stated so many times before on your thread, you deserve better and as for your estranged match, learn to turn your feelings off as quickly as you can turn them on. That maybe the best way I know how to keep you safe from heartache, sunshine! And.. Heighten your standards. Good luck!

Thank you!