ok so im 18 and i have a 4 month old. her dad wants to marry me before he goes to basic for the marines. he leaves in january..so should i marry him or no? i do love him and he is trying to better his life and his daughters. but i don' know what to do.

you should do whatever you feel is right,
just follow your heart.

if you're in love with him, no doubt about it,
and you want to spend forever with him,
then marry him.



congrats on your baby, by the way.
i love kids.

That is a question only you can answer. Follow your heart, think with your head. But always keep your precious daughter best interest first. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Follow your heart. You say you love him, but are you in love with him? There is a difference.
I will give him credit, it sounds like he is trying. That's more then my kids dad would have done.
Even if you do not marry him, always keep him in your daughters life, as much as possible.
Good luck.

PMS

if you marry him he gets paid more....
so if you dont do it for love..
or because its the right thing to do...
do it for the money..
tell him to keep his head down...

it all depends on if you want to do this or not
many quwstions arise from that alone take your time think think and think

A baby is never a reason to get married...why does he want to get married? Does he love you? Do you love him? How long have you been with this man? Make a list of the reasons why you should marry him and why you shouldnt, then weigh the outcome. Best of all talk to your mama! I had a child kinda young and thank god that I didnt marry her father. Things change alot once a baby enters the picture. You have alot to experience in life and raising a child adds a whole lot to the picture. Maybe a long engagement? I just think your kinda young...not saying you arent mature or enough, dont get me wrong...but you will change alot from this experience and I think marriage is a veeeery important and crucial step. Needs alot of consideration.

Well if YOU marry him Before he goes in, I believe that would allow YOU to be ON base with HIM, when he gets through basic,,,so THEN,,,I would think HARD about THAT LIFE and if YOU
Don't marry before, then HE MIGHT NOT STILL WANT TO marry YOU LATER...and FIND someone else while AWAY from YOU?
So WHAT DO YOU FEEL IN YOUR HEART FOR HIM????

If YOU REALLY, REALLY LOVE HIM,,,,MARRY HIM!!!!! NOW!!!

Alot can happen in the service, and your child NEEDS to have a daddy and FEEL HIS LOVE through the fact that HE DID MARRY YOU.
And then if he was to lose his life in the conflict we're in, YOUR CHILD would GROW, knowing HIS FULL LOVE FOR YOU BOTH!!!
And YOUR child would recieve compensation form HIS LOSS...

THATS my views on it...GOOD LUCK with YOUR CHOICE, but REMEMBER, its YOUR BABIES CHOICE TO....

And you think she should worry bout when/if he finds someone else? First of all just because a couple doesnt marry does not minimize how much they love their child. Marriage doesnt constitute whether or not your child is loved and a couple doesnt belong together just because of the child. How very old fashioned of you. And about him finding someone else...if he doesnt love her enough to wait then he wasnt in love to begin with and she doesnt need him. And by the way...money, is the last reason to get married

I raised two children that OUR MY CHILDREN!!
But I didn't Know their mother when they were born,ok.
SO I KNOW THEIR QUESTIONS, and WHAT happen WITH THIER MOM,
and how LIFE is CHANGED by ACTIONS TAKEN, or NOT TAKEN..
MANY crying times and growing issues ALL because of WHAT THAT child has to ""THINK"" as they GROW..

And NOTHING in ANY CHILDS LIFE, can EVER be BETTER than
THE LOVE AND MOTHERING AND FATHERING OF THEIR NATURAL PARENTS...
IF THEIR LOVE IS GOOD AND TRUE...


I could give a sh-t less about FASHION or TRADITIONAL,
ALL I EVER CARED ABOUT, was HOW THE CHILD WILL SEE,BE,LIVE,AND
LOVE LIFE!!!!

UNTIL YOU FULLY RAISE A CHILD THAT "YOU" DID NOT CONCEIVE,
Then YOU CAN'T KNOW WHAT THEY FEEL INSIDE AND DESIRES TO FIND OUT ABOUT THEIR BIRTH,PARENT,WHY,AND TO JUST KNOW....


A CHILDS HEART and MIND, has only to be given LOVE and CARE,
to FEEL this LIFE.
BUT WE WILL ALL BE JUDGED by them as WHAT KIND of PARENT WE WERE TO THEM, and ARE CHOICES WE MADE FOR "THEM"!!!

And PRAY it was the right ones, and KNOW we can give THEM our TRUTHS on ALL of THEM!! THATS LOVE!!!

sorry...i just feel that she should consider ALL things involved. I have a daughter and never married and I dont feel she is lacking any amount of love whatsoever. I do know whatcha mean tho, it is definately good if it can happen. But not bad if it doesnt either. Was just trying to help her see that she CAN do it on her own and be okay as well. I dont feel that the baby absolutely needs to see her parents married is all. Both parents can still love their child even if they dont end up married.

Yes, THAT IS TRUE.
LOVE is the main ingredient, and ONE'S LOVE is AS GOOD AS ANY
CHILD can have. IT's very HARD to be a single parent, I was for about two years before I remarried, IM now divorce.
But GIVING of YOURSELF for THEM will ALWAYS be KNOWN by THEM.
As they GROW..
NMy kids are all in their late 20's now with lots of grandchildren for me,lol..
But ONLY one has married into life with chidren not born to her.
THEY have ALL the issue's of three parents, involvement.. BUT they ALL hold the RIGHT responsibilities, and LOVE...so it works.
But their ARE never ending issues of their growing....

In my case marrying her father would have been detrimental to her happiness...i think i chose wisely and i just think marriage is a tough decision and should always be made for the right reasons. Sounds like you have a beautiful family:)! I cant imagine grandchildren, lol. Mines only 3!

If you love him, are willing to sacrifice things for him and are ready to spend the rest of your life with him then you should go for it. To me it doesn't seem like the timing is right for you. You'll know when it is right for you. Nothing to rush into.